“Uh…they scored more points than we did.”
Bill Belichick, Patriots
I was 1-3 this weekend in picking playoff games. That’s sad. For those of you who don’t know, I did sports talk radio for a few years.* That makes my performance this weekend totally pathetic and makes me kind of a jackwad. That’s OK, though. I can live with that. As long as it’s only once in a while.
The only game I picked right this weekend was the Jets over the Patriots. If I had to pick a game to win, I guess this was the best one to pick. I hate the Patriots. I hate Belicheater. I can’t stand their Bieber-haired quarterback and I’m not a fan of Boston sports in general.
I’m a loyal member of the Raider Nation and proud if it. Yeah, our team sucks, but they don’t suck as much as those bitches from across the Bay, the San Francisco Forty-Whiners. Those people actually drink wine when they tailgate. What’s up with that?
I came into the weekend knowing I was gonna go 4-0. I could feel it. There was something in the air. As it turned out, what I smelled in the air was the stench of my crappy picks. Ugh.
I’m not a Ravens “fan”, but I respect them and the way they go about their business. I think with their young coach, John Harbaugh, and their young quarterback, Joe Flacco, they have a nice future. I don’t like the Steelers, so that made picking this game pretty easy. I took the Ravens, and they lost 31-24.
0-1
The Falcons hosted Green Bay Saturday night. I don’t particularly dislike either team, but I think Matt Ryan is another great young quarterback and I like the way owner Arthur Blank is running the show in the ATL. I went ahead and screamed “Dirty Bird”, as I picked Atlanta. Aaron Rodgers and the Packers had other plans and straight up beat the crap out of the Falcons, winning 48-21.
0-2
I figured I would wake up Sunday morning and salvage my weekend by going 2-0 and ending up even. See what can happen when I try and figure things out?
I slept in, puttered around and turned on the Fox pre-game show as I began preparing some munchies for the game. Today’s menu included stuffed jalapenos, sliders on parmesan grilled sourdough and homemade sweet potato fries.
The food was ready just before kickoff and I tweeted I was taking the Seahawks. If they could beat the Saints, they could beat the Bears, right? As it turned out, the only thing Seattle could do was beat off and they lost 35-24. In reality, the game wasn’t as close as the score indicated.
0-3
I was tweeting all afternoon, mainly with my blogger friend Aaron. As I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts, Aaron is a vile Celtics and Patriots fan. Aaron was tailgating at the game and was going off on how the Patriots were going to win.
I love Aaron in a hetro-man love kind of way and dude was in rare form today. He let it be known that Jets QB Mark Sanchez “molests collies”, and he had a field day with Antonio Cromartie.
Brady saved a dozen orphans from a fire started by Cromartie. He just shunned the press.
Brady takes care of his kids. Unlike Cromartie who had to have his contract changed to pay child support. #JetsAreCriminals
Dude also showed his dislike of Jets coach Rex Ryan.
The only one who’s going to choke is Rex Ryan, most likely on someone’s foot. #JetsSuck
I too was tweeting and egging him on more than a bit.
@DaddyFiles What do Pats fans cook when they tailgate? I imagine it is vile and nasty–much like pats fans themselves…
@DaddyFiles that was a touchdown, right? Yep. It says 7-3
Around halftime I dropped this one on him.
@DaddyFiles has been really quiet. I wonder why? Oh yeah. The #Patriots are losing. Ha ha! Suckah
I’ve never been a fan of Belichick and I think the dude is a cheater and an arrogant a-hole. He’s a great coach, but I can’t stand the guy. I probably never will. When they choked on that fake punt, I laughed my ass off.
I will give the Pats some credit–they did put in some effort towards the end of the game, but it was too little too late. They lost and kept me from going 0-4 on the weekend. I’ll also give Aaron some credit. He manned up when it counted (much like he did with our Lakers/Celtics bet) and took the loss with class.
Jets handed it to us today. I’ve got nothing else. That fake punt was the dumbest Belichick move I’ve ever seen.
This loss will haunt me for months. I’m still in shock. Hearing that J-E-T-S chant at Gillette was the most depressing thing ever.
1-3
On a side note, I made a friendly bet on the game with my friend, a Yankee fan. It was the only game I bet on this weekend (thank God) and I look forward to collecting on it.
Next weekend brings two more games and I’m not really a fan of any of the teams. I could care less about the NFC Championship between Chicago and Green Bay, but I think it’s cool to see the longest standing rivalry in the NFL played with a trip to the Super Bowl at stake.
I can’t stand Rothlesdouche and the Steelers, so I will definitely be rooting for the J-E-T-S in this one. Will they win? Who knows. But I hope they do.
As a member of the media, I’d like to say that there are many of my colleagues that ask absolutely idiotic questions. Belichick stepped to the podium after the game and was asked, “What happened in the game tonight?” His response? “Uh…they scored more points than we did.” Fuckin’ brilliant on both the question and the answer. Way to put some thought into ’em.
J.R.
* I left my radio gig in California to take another one in Canada. After arriving, the station never went on the air. Nice, huh? Stay tuned, because my co-host, Wes the Sports Guy, and I have a new project on the horizon. It’s not much, but it’s something to keep us going ’til we land our next full-time radio job.
I live in St. Louis which obviously means that I hate all teams from Boston as well. I’m sure at this point you’re asking yourself, “What the fuck is this nutjob talking about?” Let me explain. For a two year period in the mid ’00’s Boston held a very unknown and extremely disgusting record over St. Louis that involved all four major professional sports. You see after the Red Sox swept the Cardinals in the 2004 World Series, Boston teams had beaten St. Louis teams in the last championship a St. Louis team had played in all 4 major sports!… Read more »
You’re really going to hate me — wait for it… I’ve been a patriots fan ever since I moved to New Hampshire in 1980. Somehow I kept my love for the Patriots (I still see them as the small guys who beat Miami and got killed by the bears) despite moving all over the country for the last 20 years. That being said, The Red Sox and the Celtics are my second favorites in baseball and basketball. I root for the Mavericks because of my 7 years spent living in Dallas and the fact that I got a signed game… Read more »
I loved watching the hated ones fall to the Jets. Victory is sweet.
I did watch the Steelers/Ravens game (great game!) but that was all I saw. With the Saints being out of the playoffs, my heart just isn’t in it anymore…
Go Steelers!
hey there, sorry to hear about your loss,. I don’t know much about football, i used to root for SF cuz i liked Joe. Shows you how much I know eh? but i do like the idea of some of those Jalapeno poppers. yum!
Thanks for the comment. I can forgive you for liking the Niners. Joe Montana was pretty decent–ha ha. The poppers were off da hook!