I pity your children.
I’m not changing the name of the person who e-mailed me because, well, because I don’t really want to. Sorry if that makes me a dick, but he e-mailed me knowing full well I was a blogger. So, if you think about it, it’s really his own fault. Yeah. Sweet.
If you blog, you know what this is about. I get weird e-mails from people asking me to put stupid ads on my blog. “How stupid?” You ask. Pretty stupid. Like this MENSA who sent me one early last month.
Hi there.
Quick question for you, J.R.– Wondering if you here at Sex and the Single Dad could find use in a text link advert to support the site? There’s an applicable client I’m working with who’s currently paying upfront for a year. I’d like to follow up for details, should you have interest.
Thanks for the time.
Logan
So I replied.
What is the link for?
Sent from my iPhone
Yeah, I know it was brief. I was at the grocery store when I got the e-mail. He promptly replied.
Thanks for getting back, J.R. – I was in need of a single text link placed within a sentence & the client is the website for a trusted UK Bingo company we’ve contracted with. I can pay you $80.00 to post the link for one year. This is paid upfront (via Paypal or check).
Let me know what you’re thinking when you can.
Logan
Two aisles later I read that message and for some reason it really miffed me. I get these same e-mails several times a week and it’s always for stupid bullshit like bullet resistant glass or custom patio covers and I always wonder where these people got my blog info. I usually blow them off, but that day I was feeling feisty. So I replied.
Seriously? What on my site makes you think people would be interested in bingo? No thanks and please don’t contact me again for any reason.
Sent from my iPhone
If you think that e-mail was harsh, you should know I deleted the F word early on as well as the phrase ,”God damned” just before , “Bingo.” What I sent was the milder version. Believe it or not he actually replied. Even though I specifically said not to. Whatever.
I’m going to tell you what he said next, but you have to realize that when I read it, I immediately said, “What a douche,” out loud as I was standing in front of the dairy section. All I ask is that as you read it to yourself, simply say, “What a douche,” out loud. Like I did. It will be fun. Trust me.
I’ll have you know, sir, that men, women and children of all ages and racial
backgrounds find joy and even comfort in the artful game of bingo.
I pity your children.
Good day.
Logan
What a douche.
P.S. In case you were wondering, I’m e-mailing this link to Logan. Does anyone seriously, “Find comfort” in bingo or is it merely a socially acceptable way to feed their gambling addiction?
About J.R. Reed
OMG…you can’t make this shit up….. LOL
Ummm…for the record? Everyone I know HATES bingo! If we want to indulge our gambling addictions we can head to Vegas for that!
I’ll say it with you…what a douche!
I agree, what a douche! I can’t imagine being forced to sit through an evening of Bingo; I’d probably poke my eye out with a fork to get out of it. Also, he “pities your children” – wtf?! Why…. because you don’t gamble? because you have better things to do with your time than sit around a bingo hall? because you have the integrity to not whore yourself (and your site) to every schmuck who wants to use you? I think you responded perfectly and, yes, he deserves to be “outed” on your site.
What a douche, jerk smack and a-hole.. My god.. For bingo? Who plays bingo online? Little old lady’s because there local bingo hall finally got tore down 20 years to late? “Hello son, I have heard that you can play bingo on that new fangle thing called a computers, can you get me one? thanks son, I love you” damn.. what a douche..
Haha! I had to laugh out loud at this one. The artful game of bingo? He pities your children? I’m so glad this guy kept replying. Your post was perfect.
Thanks Liz. Now that I look back on it, I’m glad he kept going too. How’s things in the new pad?
This is hilarious. First time over here and nice digs. My 80 year old mother in law had to play her bingo game on Saturday night at the home…..but I don’t believe she reads blogs, so that wouldn’t be your target market.
Thanks Lee. I appreciate the love. Keep checking back her and I’m gonna go see what your blog is all about.
Hi! Sorry, just now saw your reply! Things are good, although we were homeless for an entire week due to the hurricane knocking out our power and water. Back to normal now and things are getting better. Let’s catch up soon!
I PITY THE FOOL!!!
My friend received this same email…so glad we saw this post first. I am laughing out loud at the “What a douche” in the dairy aisle. That.is.awesome.
Thanks for posting about this!
Jen,
Since this post I’ve received emails from two more people asking if I would accept their advertising. I sent both the link to the blog post and asked that they read it before proceeding. I never heard back from either of them.