I will make you change your mind
these things happen all the time
And it’s all real
I’m telling you just how I feel
Miranda Cosgrove, AKA, iCarly
First off, I know. It’s iCarly. I have this whole collection of music to choose from and I pick the theme song from a freakin Nickelodeon show? Am I high? No. have I been drinking? Believe it or not, the answer to that is also no. So WTF made me pick this freakin song? I’m not really sure, but I would guess that as I write this, something good will come out of it. Fingers crossed.
I will admit that as far as kids shows go, this one is pretty fresh. I am beyond caring about those two a-holes, Zack and Cody and as far as I’m concerned, Hannah Montana can have the best of both worlds as long as she promises to never exist in mine.
Kids today have some good stuff to watch on TV, but lets face it, in the 1970’s and 80’s we had some pretty dope stuff to watch too. Who could forget the classics like Sigmund and the Sea Monster or Lidsville, Not your style? How about the Bugs Bunny/RoadRunner Hour or everyone’s favorite crime fighting pooch, Hong Kong Phooey. If you don’t dig cartoons there was Lancelot Link Secret Chimp or the Shazam/Isis Hour. Were you musically inclined? Then rock on with those feline hotties, Josie and the Pussycats. Bill Cosby was pretty freakin funny in Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids and everyone’s (least) favorite family got trapped in Land of the Lost.
Things are way different now than they were when I was a kid. It was 1983 before our school had computers and even then it was strictly MS-Dos. Having to memorize all that code for computer accounting sucked some major ass. Sorry to tell you that Ms. Hogan; but it did. What the hell was an iPod? We had our big, clunky boomboxes and whoever had the biggest one was the damn Mac Daddy of the block.
So wake up the members of my nation
It’s your time to be
There’s no chance unless you take one
And it’s time
to see the brighter side of every situation
Somethings are meant to be
So give it your best and leave the rest to me
According to the lyrics from the song, iCarly has her own nation. I’d like my own nation. Maybe we could call it J.R.topia or Sexandthesingledadville. Maybe a nation is a bit aggressive to start out with. A nice town or maybe a village? Still too big? How about a block party or simply an overnight camping trip. “Aim big but start small” will be my motto. I wonder how that would look on the sign welcoming you to my land? Or at least on the flyer at the convenience store inviting everyone to come camping.
Mayor McCheese could be the head honcho. I’d rather have him than Marion Berry. Crack is whack, your honor. I’m not a huge fan of Washington D.C. proper. Any city that re-elects a mayor after he got caught in a hotel room with hookers and blow is not a bright city. “Just say no”, homies. Just say no.
Sam reminds me of a younger, blonder, less-potty-mouth version of The Blogger Hottie. They’re both snarky, have attitude and I would not at all be surprised to hear Sam use the phrase, “…cut a bitch.”
I envision her 10 years from now on one of those lame reality shows laden with former child stars. The host comes out and gives them their challenge and Sam coolly removes the Pall Mall from her lips and says, “Seriously. You want me to do that? Yeah, no.” When the host asks her why she won’t do it she would come up with something clever like, “If this was Jeapordy I would say, “Alex I’d like, Things That Make Me Say ‘Blow Me‘ for $1,000.” She’s just cool like that.
If Drama Queen had to be friends and hang out with any of the modern-era TV kids I’m sure I would want her to hang with Carly and Sam. I know I wouldn’t want her to hang out with that slutty bitch Zoey from Zoey 101. One thing I always wondered—when she got knocked up did she have a baby shower and if so did she invite Hannah Montana, London Tipton and Carly? It would be the polite thing to do.
P.S. Justin Bieber is a douche.