Welcome to Happy Hour at Reed My Writing. My name is J.R. and this is my place. Thursday is my day off and I’m bringing in some great guest post-tenders to run the place in my absence. Each month there is a new theme and I let the post-tender concoct something amazing to serve you, my wonderful guests.
I only have two rules here. Fun is to be had by all and please don’t urinate in the parking lot. I’m speaking to the ladies as well as the dudes.
Today’s guest post-tender is Ashly Star, A.K.A. Amorous Rocker and she’s serving up her take on the theme May Flowers. If you want to know who Ashly is, she’s sarcastic, moody, weird, quirky, hyper, spontaneous, bluntly honest, silly, complex, dorky, deep, not easily trusting, loyal, stubborn, outgoing, open, argumenative, cynical and plenty of other adjectives that I don’t feel like typing out now.
If you want to know more about her, check out the link to her blog at the bottom. She also peddles cupcakes which I’m led to believe are ‘da bomb.
I do not like flowers.
I have told every single guy (and girl) I’ve ever dated this fact to avoid them bringing me flowers. It’s not that I wouldn’t appreciate the gesture. The thing is, the gesture of wanting to bring or send me flowers for no reason is quite nice. I’d rather it never happen, though.
They smell pretty but they make me sneeze like crazy. Some even make my throat itchy and eyes water. If you want to get me something for the sake of it, I’ll take some Sweet Tarts or maybe a cupcake instead. The gesture is the same and it won’t make me sneezy and irritated.
I’ve been with my boyfriend almost six years. Actually, our sixth year anniversary is the 25th of this month. I can count on one hand the amount of time he has sent me flowers and wouldn’t use all my fingers. He learned quickly and now sticks to buying me random gifts I like. He’s such a sweetheart, really.
Now, a lot of girls seem to tell guys they don’t like flowers when in fact they do. That’s something I’ve yet to find logic in but I’ll be honest; I don’t understand the majority of my gender the majority of the time. That’s not meant to be insulting, it’s just the way it is. Telling a guy you don’t like flowers when you do in hopes that he’ll get them for you later just doesn’t reek of sense and logic. I digress.
One guy in particular was in spectacular disbelief of my dislike for flowers. He just couldn’t believe I didn’t like them and wouldn’t appreciate a lovely bouquet. We had a minor argument over it on our fifth date and he still wasn’t convinced. Two days later, I had a day off work and was sitting around my apartment hanging out, enjoying not having to be at work. I remember one of my former roommates was home with me but not a clue what we were doing. Then the doorbell rang, interrupting whatever we had been doing.
I answered it to find a guy on the other side with a delivery for me. Flowers. From the guy I was dating. A bouquet with twenty blue iris. I carried them in, sat them on the counter and pulled out my phone to text him to let him know that while I appreciated the gesture, I was also annoyed. And sneezing.
He didn’t respond to the text but an hour later there was another guy at the door with another bouquet of flowers for me. A dozen roses this time. I brought them in, laid them on the counter then sent him another text. I would have called but knew he was at work. Again, no response even though I knew he checked and responded to texts at work.
Ninety minutes later, another delivery. This time it was a bouquet with a dozen carnations and a dozen tulips. I didn’t bother sending a text that time. I sat in a chair by the balcony door contemplating what to do with all those flowers. The smell was already killing me.
After about thirty minutes of pondering, he finally sent a text back saying I should have gotten all three bouquets by now and asking how I liked them. I sent a reply back reiterating yet again expressing my appreciation at the gesture but also letting him know that it was a bit of a waste of money.
He called a few minutes later wanting to know how I could not like what he had done. I again went through my tired explanation of my dislike of flowers. Finally, he believed me. We hung up and I went back pondering what to do with all the flowers I didn’t want to keep.
I had an idea. I called one of my best friend’s at the time, Erol, hoping he’d be awake and feel like helping me get rid of all the flowers. I didn’t want to just trash them but for the sake of my allergies, I didn’t want to keep them either. So I got a hold of Erol, quickly explained why I had so many flowers and how I wanted to get rid of them. He said he would help and was there fifteen minutes later.
We gathered up all the flowers and then headed off to the mall. We approached people with a simple, “Hi, would you like a flower?” Some asked why. Some just smiled, said they would and took a flower. Some took a flower cautiously and asked what it was for. I explained to those that asked and we wished everyone a good day, whether they took a flower or not. A lot of smiles and well wishes were exchanged for flowers that day.
Some of the stores management wouldn’t let us give their staff a flower. Some stores wouldn’t let us stay in to hand out flowers to their customers. Most of the stores staff and management didn’t mind and thought it was sweet albeit a little odd and completely random. Some people looked at us as we were crazy and didn’t take a flower. Most people we approached that day did take a flower.
It took three hours of walking around the entire mall but we handed off all the flowers, one by one, to people who wanted them. It might seem like a waste of time to some. Anyone who knows me wouldn’t be surprised by this story, though. I love making people smile and love making other people happy. I think a small, nice gesture is one of the nicest things you can do for someone and what do you lose by doing it? Nothing.
Sure, I could have just handed off the bouquets to anyone who wanted them and could have been done much more quickly. I thought it would be nice to hand them off one at a time to people to try and do more nice gestures. Just because I didn’t want them and like them didn’t mean there weren’t a few dozen people out there who wouldn’t appreciate an unexpected flower. Plus, it really does make me happy knowing I had a positive impact on someone else, even if it’s only briefly.I’m sure most of those people don’t remember the day the girl with the flowers was passing them out at the mall but I do and thinking about it makes me smile.
If you’re wondering about the guy, well, obviously it didn’t work out between us. We didn’t go out again after the flower debacle. He clearly had problems listening and not listening is a big turn off. Plus, I’m pretty sure that he was trying to make me sneeze to death and steal my valuable belongings or something. Why else would you bombard someone who hates flowers with four dozen of the smelly bastards? Exactly.