10 Things I Love About My Husband

I respect my husband for the ways that he is strong, desire him for how he’s dominant and confident, and admire him for his skill, but those are not the reasons I love him.

I respect my husband for the ways that he is strong. I desire him for the ways he’s dominant and confident. I admire him for his skill and endurance. I appreciate him for all the things he does for me. But if I’m honest, those things are not why I love him.

So here’s a list. Abridged.

  1. If I’m in a room, concentrating on something, sometimes he’ll slowly creep past the open door till I notice him, then he runs away laughing.
  2. How he cried at the little drummer boy’s love for his friend, the lamb.
  3. His collection of stuffed animals, kitschy Christmas decorations, and toys.
  4. His love of being cuddled.
  5. His irrational fear of blood-sucking animals. As a related point, when he gets really scared of something, he gets very quiet and his hands shake. This is a cue that he needs a hug. Or something in the room needs to be killed.
  6. His goofy humor, including an uncountable number of terrible puns.
  7. How he sometimes gets really flustered when he’s trying to explain something. A hug is usually called for here.
  8. That split second after he’s given me a mug of tea that he’s made for me in which he looks at me, waiting for me to smile.
  9. How he freaks out over climate warming and environmental damage. Wild eyed, gesticulating, shouting, totally emotionally invested freak-outs. He requires a hug at these points.

It’s human nature to love things that need us. That’s why we surround ourselves with creatures that are basically furry balls of need with fangs (needs that are usually voiced in the form of querulous demands).

Maybe it’s human nature to love things that need us because providing for others’ needs gives us the opportunity to feel strong. And feeling strong may be how we learn to love ourselves.

Strength doesn’t see others in the shapes made of need and fear. Strength gives others the space to be vulnerable. Strength seeks out opportunities to earn trust.

In fact, strength can’t exist in the absence of need. In oneself, in others.

So the final reason I love my husband? The one that sums it all up:

10. His vulnerability.

There’s a certain type of vulnerability that’s masculine. It’s a lot harder to pin down simply because of our ingrained gender binary that says, “women=vulnerable/men=invulnerable.”

But it’s there, waiting to be discovered.

I love that being vulnerable is an incredible act of trust. His being vulnerable is a demonstration of trust in my strength and my ability to give him a place to feel safe.

And the gift of allowing me to be strong for him is the greatest gift of all.

Aside from hugs.

—Photo Krikit ♥/Flickr

NOW TRENDING ON GMP TV

Super Villain or Not, Parenting Paranoia Ensues
The Garbage Man Explains Happiness
How To Not Suck At Dating

Premium Membership, The Good Men Project

About Typhonblue

Typhonblue is a Canadian in her thirties. She writes about the state of decay in the relationship between the genders in our culture with a focus on men’s vulnerability and women’s agency. She blogs at www.genderratic.com.

Comments

  1. The Bad Man says:

    I love a woman who is strong for me when I am weak. Other than that, it’s just negotiating chores right? Who wants to mow the lawn?

  2. I love this post… I was actually just wondering why I love the one man I have ever loved… I am not with him now… but at 35 years old, I could not pin down why he was the only man I could look back and say… I undoubtedly loved him. You said it so perfectly in this article… he was vulnerable with me… that big strong man trusted me with his vulnerabilities, and I loved him for that.

  3. #1 Cracked me up. I do things like that too. I really believe that you love your husband. Sometimes people give a list of traits they love but not including small antidotes makes it sound like a politicians speech, where they wax glorious about how much they love their country. It’s too polished. Yours was authentic. Great job.

  4. I love this article because it reminds of a previous relationship.

  5. What a great article! If it wasn’t so too-late for both of us, I’d propose to you…

    The Dudes’ Dad

  6. a fine article typhon

  7. Eeep!

    I made a mistake on the spelling of my blog. It’s http://www.genderratic.com

    Thanks to everyone who responded.

  8. In all sucessfull relationships the two people involved fit like 2 pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. That’s what you seem to have. Good luck and good fortune to you and your husband.

  9. What a nice, tender, warm post. Makes me feel fuzzy! :D
    You two have a beautiful relationship; thank you for sharing what makes it special with us.
    It’s good (and needed) to remind us all the positive stuff there is around us.

  10. ThursdayFae says:

    Admittedly, #5 is one of my favourites (though my beau doesn’t fear spiders, I know what it’s like to be designated bug-killer, as that was my job in my dorm at uni :P), but I love that you know when hugs are needed.

    And the act of being vulnerable, the allowing of oneself to be vulnerable.. that is really one of the most courageous things anyone can do. I love that you’ve pinpointed one of the most beautiful things that a person can do for another, and that you love it about your husband.

    I think in this climate of debating between men and women, all too often we don’t focus on the goodness, and we can always use more of it. :)

  11. Damn, you’re married. Another one. All the good ones are married.

    This was a really nice post. It is refreshing to hear people express gratitude and affection, and this post is even one bullet against bitterness in the culture.

    We’d all like to be loved, but with the respect, being desired and admired… it would be hard to not feel loved just from that, and in fact that’s what I’d prefer first. That is feeling loved, to me at least.

    One last thing: just curious, you being from Canada, I was wondering .. well it’s probably too personal. never mind. I have fears too- doctors and nurses. I bear the scar of vulnerability, I just hope it doesn’t diminish any future love bond I may have. You know what I’m saying? Thanks for posting this

Trackbacks

  1. […] article entitled “10 Things I love about my husband” that I read earlier this week struck a […]

Speak Your Mind

*