Beauty and a sexy body may top most guys’ wish list for a woman, but Tor Constantino offers a few superior traits to consider.
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Beauty fades and youth is fleeting.
~ Ancient Proverb
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It doesn’t take a genius to recognize that most guys—if asked—would prefer to be in a relationship with a younger woman who’s got an attractive face, is fun loving, has a sexy manner, great legs, awesome personality, rocking body and bedroom eyes with a “come hither” smile.
What guy wouldn’t want that?
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However, the problem with that wish list is that it’s ultimately unsustainable because most of those traits are purely physical and will diminish over the years.
It’s so easy for us guys to get caught up in those physical trappings at the expense of much more important and enduring attributes.
In fact, many guys might not even consider some of the more valuable virtues of a woman whom they’re pursing in the short term; however, here are seven desirable traits for consideration that can endure for the long term.
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1. Dependable
Yeah, I know it sounds like a positive automotive rating in Consumer Reports, but the truth is guys need a reliable, stabilizing agent in their lives as we age. Without being codependent or enabling, guys need someone they can anchor to when things get tough—and things will get rough out there.
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2. Committed
This comprises the aspects of loyalty and fidelity. While some couples tout the strength of their open, polyamorous relationships—a monogamous commitment is the best chance of long-term relational success.
Feel free to cite Don Juanesque outliers such as George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio or Derek Jeter—but let’s face it none of us are going to be those guys. In the long run, an unending series of one-night stands doesn’t stand a chance against a long-standing commitment to another individual.
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3. Completeness
Whether we know it or not, this is probably the most desirable trait in a mate because it’s so broad and comprehensive.
While no individual is perfectly complete in every area of their personality, it’s important to consider some of the features that make them well rounded or complete such as: emotional maturity; gainful employment; a solid education; being an effective communicator; having a strong support network…etc.
Any guy would be lucky to be involved with a woman who has only a few of these attributes of completeness, let alone several of them.
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4. Strength
While physical health and well being are important, I’m specifically referring to her internal strength because that will serve you both well into your future. You’ll both face adversity together and a deep reservoir of strength will only help sustain you and her.
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5. Generosity
It’s important to note that generosity extends far beyond money and can encompass a positive disposition toward others. It’s safe to say that a woman who is generous and gracious with strangers, is very likely to be generous to the guy she is committed to and loves.
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6. Wisdom
This is another great catch-all word that captures the various ideas of intellect, experience, judgment and maturity. There’s a proverb that states, “Wisdom is more valuable than gold and should be pursued above all things.” If you happen to find a wise woman to love, and who loves you back, don’t let her go.
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7. Kindness
The critical imperative of finding someone who is a kind person goes without saying. If a potential mate has all the other attributes listed here but lacks a kind disposition, it’s unlikely you’ll find a meaningful relationship wrapped in unkind arms.
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It should go without saying that when it comes to relationships—similar things actual attract each other—contrary to the law of magnetism where opposites attract. While there may be anomalies, individuals that have the strongest and most-enduring relationships tend to have the most in common with each other.
If you want to find that special someone who has all of the traits listed above, the best way to do it is to become those traits yourself—or become George Clooney.
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Other recent articles from Tor Constantino you might like:
7 Keys to an Apology to Help Her Forgive You
Guys, Our Anger is Killing Us—Literally
6 Tips to Keep Your Next Fight With Her From Going Volcanic Losing
Losing My Parents Made Me a Better Father
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
Once again I agree with an article but have to take issue with the title, and this is probably not about the author’s choice but someone else’s choice. I can confidently speak for millions of people when I say that I can decide for myself what I need, and will not need to be told that there’s something I need that I don’t even know that I need. That is the same sort of condescending garbage women have been told for centuries. It’s patronizing when it’s said to women, and it’s patronizing when it’s said to men, too. Dare I… Read more »
I appreciate you taking the time to share your opinion, which you’re totally entitled to.
Thank you Tor. It’s a good thing to remember when you are first with someone that you might be with for a while. It does make a difference. We rush into love because it feels good or we feel like it’s the time to act, but I’ll tell you. You pay big for not paying attention to these things. It can quickly turn from a love affair to a nightmare. If she is not treating you or others well for explainable reasons, beware. But what you are speaking of is are the real finds. Women that are beautiful in all… Read more »