How many partners must a woman have had for men to consider her promiscuous?
This article, written by Chiara Atik, was originally posted on HowAboutWe.com.
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Are women who have had five or more partners promiscuous? They are according to AskMen’s Great American Male Survey–an even lower threshold than last year.
Remember how last year we were horrified when 41% of American men surveyed by AskMen said that women become sexually promiscuous after sleeping with 10 men — which at the time was the lowest possible option?
The results of the 2010 survey broke down like this:
At What Point Does A Woman Become Sexually Promiscuous?
Never? 14%
When she sleeps with her 10th partner? 41%
When she sleeps with her 20th partner? 34%
When she sleeps with her 50th partner? 14%
When she sleeps with her 100th partner? 3%
Well, this year, AskMen changed the survey, adding a lower option: When she sleeps with her 5th partner. And, would you believe it, given the lower option, the men surveyed voted that thatwas actually the tipping point into promiscuity.
Let’s think about this for a second:
The average American woman loses her virginity at 17 years old. So that’s one sexual encounter.
So the average 30-year-old American woman will have been sexually active for 13 years. This means that, in addition to the initial sexual encounter, if a woman has sex with 4 partners over the course of 13 years, she’s considered promiscuous. That’s about 1 sexual encounter every three years.
Come on, men! Having sex once every three years does not a promiscuous woman make! We’re still waiting for AskMen to add a question about at which point guys themselves become promiscuous. Never?
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Read a response to this post “At What Point Do Men Consider Me Wanton?”
More from HowAboutWe.com:
10 Things You Shouldn’t Do Till You’re “Exclusive”
Dating Outside Your Comfort Zone: My Date With Amazon Eve, the World’s Tallest Model
6 “Psycho” Things That Women Do That Are Actually Pretty Reasonable
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—Photo Photo Monkey/Flickr
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Vocalyze
Ummmm. No one said a woman could only have sex once every three years. She can have all the sex she wants, with the same guy in a LTR without being promiscuous. Ans as a man, I think men should be held to the same standard.
Interesting to see that in the UK we gave slightly more sensible results. Also, it’s important that for some people answering the survey, promiscuity would not be bad. I’d describe a sexually liberated man/woman that enjoys having sex as promiscuous in the same way as I’d describe someone who plays tennis three times a week as sporty. However, I do agree that for a lot of people it will be seen as a negative label.
To make my second sentence more clear:
*for some people answering the survey, promiscuity would not be considered a negative trait.
Who cares about the past? Do you have a good relationship NOW with your woman? Judging someone like this is BS.
If this labeling even matters, shouldn’t it be defined relative to time instead of an absolute number? If an 80 year old woman has had 6 partners over the course of her life, I’d hardly call that promiscuous. Only three partners but in the space of a single evening? Fair to call that promiscuous.
This survey clearly points to the youth of its intended audience.
I would be interested to see what happens to these results if you take gender out of it and ask the same men. I.e. “At what point does a person become sexually promiscuous?”
-When they sleep with their: xth partner
I’m guessing if men weren’t thinking about women in particular, the threshold would be higher.
I married my fourth sexual partner and have often wondered if that little experience will come back to bite me someday. However, it is nice to have done some sexual maturing with the man I will be with for the rest of my life. I spent a long time thinking I was getting off by penetration,and lo and behold, that wasn’t really the case. It was a lesson that was hard on both of our egos, but a sex life with toy enhancement is better than one with accidentally-faked orgasms.
In my opinion it is unfair to have a double standard such as this. Judgements being passed upon others is just a societal fact. Maybe the question should be more specific in what it is asking, add a little timeframe. 5 partners within a month of a person’s frist time? ya, thats a little much for anyone, man, woman, or in between…. but five partners over the span of three years, five years, and so on… thats not necessarily an indicator of promiscuity in my mind
Exclude the following from the number:
Rape– it doesn’t count as that’s not her fault.
Remarriage after widowhood– also doesn’t count, that’s perfectly okay.
Other than those caveats, promiscuity begins at the number TWO.
Two or more voluntary partners, alive at the same time, is promiscuous.
For both sexes.
for you. and for your partner. but what’s right for you is not what’s right for everyone. this survey is stupid.
To all of you who voted against me: Read the dictonary. See definition 3 — NOT RESTRICTED TO ONE. Therefore 2 or more, is promiscuous.
Definition of PROMISCUOUS
1: composed of all sorts of persons or things
2: not restricted to one class, sort, or person : indiscriminate
3: not restricted to one sexual partner
4: casual, irregular <promiscuous eating habits
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/promiscuous?show=0&t=1311828464
Who is “we” in “we were horrified”? Certainly not most men. American men answered the survey – and they overwhelmingly preferred women with fewer partners. I know I do.
…american men who participated in this survey. i’m sure that’s not all american men.
let’s all just be with people who have similar ideals as we do and not try to force ours on everyone else, K?
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander….Whatever man has a right to do…woman has that SAME RIGHT!……Which means WE ALL have the right to make personal choices as we see fit. Who you date/marry/have sex with is YOUR PREROGATIVE.
We also have a RESPONSIBILITY to not LABEL other people based on our wants and needs, likes and dislikes.
MEN: A woman is not promiscuous no matter how many lovers she has had….that is a LABEL you are foisting upon her based upon your personal opinions. You have a right to not be with them, but you do not have the right to judge or denigrate them.
WOMEN: A man is not a LAZY, STUPID LOSER just because he does not fit your expectations. That is a LABEL you are foisting upon him based upon your personal opinions. You have a right to not be with them, but you do not have the right to judge or denigrate them.
EVERYONE: GROW THE HELL UP!!!! Live how you wanna live, love how you wanna love…and as long as you don’t hurt anyone or break any laws….do what you wanna do. xo
“…. A (wo)man is not promiscuous no matter how many lovers (s)he has had….”
“Promiscuous” is a factual description, not a personal opinion. Literally, more than one makes you promiscuous, according to the definition of the word. See item 3 below:
Definition of PROMISCUOUS
1: composed of all sorts of persons or things
2: not restricted to one class, sort, or person : indiscriminate
3: not restricted to one sexual partner
4: casual, irregular <promiscuous eating habits
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/promiscuous?show=0&t=1311828464
“A woman is not promiscuous no matter how many lovers she has had. . .”
So, if a women has sex with 7 strangers every night for 30 years, she’s not promiscuous? Then who is promiscuous exactly?
Further, why shouldn’t people be free to hold their own opinions, whatever they are? What’s up with the thought police?
“Live how you wanna live, love how you wanna love…and as long as you don’t hurt anyone or break any laws….do what you wanna do”
This is moral relativism, utter garbage that collapses under its own rules. It’s like communism: looks good on paper, but turns-out to be just a load of bullshit in practice. This is self-oriented, it’s bunk. Love is about self-sacrifice not self-service and building a bond with another human being. If you want self-service consider a Grande Chai-Latte from the Starbucks down the street. If you break this bond for any reason two people walk away hurt. This is established fact no matter how hard you cover your ears and scream about it. So by your own rules you have a RESPONSIBILITY to commit for life to those you are most intimate with. And it’s just not realistic to be that intimate with more than one person, it’s so painful that Television tycoons have made millions off of this kind of drama.
Yes, and this is the new shape of fascism. Instead of getting a better and more human social system, we import the same repressive pre-pill sexual norms through a time-warp to make people run around scared. Look, I believe sex is like a sacrament. You are exchanging energy at a profound level with the other person. I never have it drunk or trivially. And I’ve been monogamous for a while, which is not my nature, believe me. Still, I’ve had over a hundred partners. I admit that as a young man, I didn’t treat it as the sacrament I now believe it is.
Dee – i disagree. I most certainly have the right to judge anyone I want. As long as I do not treat them badly, it is MY business what I think of them. When it comes to this subject, and I am looking at a woman with the intentions of a relationship, you can bet I am going to judge her based on how promiscuous she has been.
And at 41 I have had 5 sexual partners, so I have no issues with feeling like a hypocrate. I practice what I preach.
It seems relevant that a large percentage of the guys who answered the survey said they were single in response to other questions. So maybe they were on the young side.
Just another so-called-expert trying to promote his website. It’s so sad because theres a lot of men out there that really need help and this isn’t helping in any way, shape or form.
Insane idea. Get off of it.
does the raw number really even matter? I’d look more at the behavior associated with sex if I was interested in a relationship with a woman. If its consistent with my own then I’d have no problems whatsoever. I’m not going to hold her to a standard that I don’t live up to. Its also a-ok in my opinion NOT to get involved with someone who’s past sexual history makes you uncomfortable.
My wife and I were both fairly active before we met. Our numbers are pretty similar but more importantly we had very similar opinions and behavior patterns about sex.. She started younger but I was racking up partners more quickly in and after college. The most important thing was that we were and remain honest with each other. We had the “conversation” at the appropriate time. The night we met I was most definitely interested in a hook up but she told me she was in a relationship (albeit a failing one) so it wasnt going to happen. She wouldnt even give me her phone number. I respected that about her. 6 weeks later when we saw each other at another party she was single, as was I. 15 years, 3 kids, and more than the usual amount of tumult (mentally ill parent, nearly lost a child to severe birth defects, etc) later we’re still together and very much in love.
All that means is that a lot of sexually inexperienced guys and guys that are looking for monogamy answered the poll. The women on the other hand are likely judging from their own position, one of more sexual opportunity and without the fear of ending up paying for someone else progeny.
And you are probably being a little silly accepting that you are what a survey says you are, you are what ever you say you are.
Does it occur to no one that the word “promiscuity” stacks the deck? It’s descriptive of a judgment being passed, not of behavior.
And where’s the to my mind far more fascinating statistic where men pick a similar number for men?
And finally, will straight people never wise up and realize that words like “slut” and “promiscuous” mean just one thing: that the person using them is frightened by or jealous of someone having more or better sex?
I’m mostly straight and I realize that.
The article doesn’t properly reflect the results anyway. If only 34% said 5 or less then that doesn’t represent the overall view.
And then different people will take a different view of whether they see ‘promiscuous’ as a negative.
The key issue is that there shouldn’t be double standards.
It’s not a simple question. Someone who has only had 5 one-night stands is different to someone who has had 5 boyfriends.
I wonder how the wording and format of the question impact the results. Perhaps combined with the age demographic of survey participants (this data was not provided, right?). Do men read the question and interpret it to mean a woman of their own age? For instance, would the question “At What Point In Her Lifetime Does A Woman Become Sexually Promiscuous?” yield different results?
In short, online surveys provide very little in the way of meaningful data.