Dudes and Dildos

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About Maria Pawlowska

Maria Pawlowska is a healthcare analyst with a passion for reproductive health. She spends her free time trying to stop herself from compulsively buying new books about women, sexuality, gender and sometimes the odd primate study. Maria currently lives in London with her husband and you can reach her at m.pawlowska [@] gatesscholar.org. You can follow her on Twitter @MariaPawlowska.


  1. My boyfriend and I love anal sex, giving and receiving both. We use a nice vegan anal lube and wear gloves. We haven’t worked our way up to penile/strap-on dildo penetration though that is our goal. When we do we will use condoms however. One thing that I like about it is that it allows both of us to experience the act of penetrating/being penetrated so the experience is something we can both relate to a more similar way. I love oral and vaginal (I’m a woman) as well and I don’t think I’d want to have to pick one over the others. (Besides, with oral you have all those tasty flavored lubes…what’s not to like about a pink-lemonade flavored penis?) I was a little squeamish before I first tried anal, but my boyfriend and I did as much research on it as we could in order to make it as safe and comfortable as possible. When we did try it I found it an experience like nothing else and I can’t imagine that I’d ever want to live without it.

  2. Hi, just wanted to say, I enjoyed this post. It was practical.
    Keep on posting!

  3. The Blurpo says:

    ok my take. I have tryed anal both active and passive (no Im not gay, and no im not homophobic either), and sadly it wasent for me. But the majority of guys I spoke to is quite open for the experience. Contrary to a large number of women, who are not intersted or disliked it.

    About culture, well yes I do agree in femmephobia and homophobia. But I dont think its always the case and I dont think they hould be used as universal concepts to describe the unvillignes of some people to go anal or adding some tradtional or common modern feminine habits.

  4. I’ve always said that every man should try it. Perhaps more women would like to give it to their partners than they admit

  5. I am 42 years old married man who never liked guys but only girls and women. Still, I practiced anal masturbation in some periods of my life. I started 15 yo and in following years, when I was without girlfriend I was returning to that old habit but not without enormous guilt. I thought I was gay but and was ready to accept it if only I didn’t realize I don’t like other guys – I was not able to fall in love with them, I didn’t like their bodies and simply, the idea of having sex with them was disgusting. For me, they were just dudes. Contrary to that, I was falling in love with girls, loved them very much, their faces, eyes, bodies… Why did I love anal masturbation then? Simply because it was pleasant activity for me and good help for normal masturbation. I gave myself a chance to become a gay when I was young and it never happened. I simply continue to having sex with girls and now my wife sometimes gives me some anal pleasure with dildo. I can live without it though but still I can enjoy it. I am very much sure that man receiving anal sex from woman is not gay! Gay likes other guys, their bodies, look, talk etc.


  1. [...] This, by Maria Pawlowska? Is possibly not safe for work, but it’s a great look at masculinity and [...]

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