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Five Reasons Why Honest Sex is Awesome Sex

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Zach Rosenberg shares five reasons why it’s best to be open with your partner in bed.

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Sex is great, but it’s so much better when you’re honest. And I’m not just talking about saying “yeah, my legs don’t bend that way.” I’m talking about real, sexual-soul-searching honest. Here’s five ways you can achieve ultimate bedroom honesty with your partner and have a little fun in the process.

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Forta-Logo-300x153-290x1531. Be Honest About Experimentation.

Look, if we all wanted to have sex the same damn way every time, there wouldn’t be so many ways that your parts fit into your partner’s stuff. When I was in college, I did it the same way every time: warm-up oral then missionary, 40 seconds, done, go home. Yeah, I just said that.

But now that I’m married and have a wife who is my world, I don’t mind thinking outside the box, if you know what I’m sayin’. But experimentation isn’t just adopting the “any hole’s a goal” mentality. It’s about finding something fun that you and your partner can try. Maybe it won’t go right – you’ll laugh about it (maybe now, maybe later) and it’ll ultimately make you feel closer. Try toys, try those deliciously-scented lubes. You may have never tried before, but it might be fun. And if it’s not, that’s cool too – that’s why it’s an experiment. You think scientists succeed in every one of their lab experiments? Uh no. So lube up, put a rubber ring around your ding-a-ling, and start looking for alternate entry points.

I mean, if it’s cool with your other half. Gotta agree on terms before you go exploring the jungle.

 

2. Be Honest About Your Past.

It’s totally cool that you had some wild days whenever-ago. And it’s even cool that you are Facebook friends with the woman that deflowered you. But you’re going to want to share this stuff with your partner. Not because you can’t be trusted, but because you probably want to know if your partner’s friends with the one that deflowered them too, yeah? And if you had a not-okay experience in your past, you need to let your partner know so that they don’t accidentally bring you back there.

Or how about this – did you have a past lover that did something in bed that you really liked? Well, your current partner might be able to do it too. Airing out your past doesn’t have to be a source of jealousy. It can be a launching pad for “hey I haven’t done this in years.” It might even make your partner look at you like a superman for doing all the cool sexual stuff they’ve never experienced up until then.

 

3. Be Honest About Porn.

Look, your partner looking at porn isn’t about you. It’s about them having a fantasy and watching other people get filthy. And when your partner watches porn, they’re probably watching people that look nothing like you. It’s okay. It’s not because they don’t love you or aren’t attracted by you. It’s because they – just like you – are able to be attracted to many things, and when you become exclusive with someone, it doesn’t stop them from being attracted to people that don’t look like you.

So let them have their moment. Or, if you’re a real sex rockstar (and I know you are), you might find a way to integrate that into your sex life. You don’t have to go out on the street and find someone who looks like their preferred porn star or starlette. But you should talk about what types they like. Don’t go into “why” – you’ll get nowhere like that. Here’s a suggestion: find porn that satisfies both of your attractions and then dirty talk about it while you foreplay. Sometimes, all it takes is a little suggestion that it’d be hot to have that star/lette there with you to get you both in the mood. Sometimes you can arouse a partner if you know who they like with a “you like him/her? You wish you could” …well, I’ll leave something to your imagination. But by then, hopefully, you’re already off to the races.

And if you don’t like porn, be honest. You might have to surrender to letting your spouse have some alone-porn-time then, but that’s okay – remember, it’s not about you.

 

4. Be Honest About Your Dislikes.

This is important. The last thing you need is your partner turning you off in bed constantly by doing something that you hate. Or worse, that you’re scared of. Don’t like being love-slapped? Don’t even make it a possibility – come right on out and say you never want to do that. Don’t ever want to try a certain position because it makes you body-conscious? Make it clear.

This is especially important if you’ve ever been abused in any way, male or female. As I mentioned, you don’t want your current partner to trigger a past hurt. It’s only fair to bring it up before it happens. Sex is best when it’s stuff that you like, so make sure you take all of your dislikes off the table. And if you’ve experimented as I suggested and don’t like something you’ve done, make it clear right away. You don’t need to be getting into a routine that you’re not enjoying just because I suggested that you try something a step too far for you. And I don’t want that on my conscience.

 

5. Be Humbled By It All.

Look people, sex is awesome. Sex is incredible. Sex is emotional and fun and right now, while you’re reading this, there’s a ton of people banging it out in their homes, in their cars, and in weird semi-public places. Be humbled by the fact that someone is letting you, quite literally, into their body. Be humbled by the fact that, under some conditions, this process can create a human life. Have respect for it all – and I’m not saying you need to freak out over it (because that’s a total boner-killer), but just think about how powerful it is to get naked and get wild. It’s something people have been doing for thousands of years.

So remember – you’re one person in a world full of other folks celebrating this same totally hot mattress dance. And for most people, you’re not the first one that’s been with your partner and they’re not your first. Engaging in sex with someone is a gift, so treat your partner with respect. Or believe me, they’ll go find it elsewhere and leave you out of it.

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There are some incredible ways that you can enhance your sex. But I think above any position or toy, honesty should be your number one bedroom trick. It’s sexy to talk about the things that turn you on or scare you. It’s hot as hell to experiment with your partner. And it’s awesome to look at your love and think “it can’t get better than this.” Honesty ain’t just the best policy, it’s a roadmap to the best sex you can have

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About Zach Rosenberg

Zach Rosenberg is a husband and father living in Southern California. He is co-founder of
fatherhood news site 8BitDad.com, and a contributor to HLNtv.com. You can also find him on Twitter @zjrosenberg.

Comments

  1. Stephanie Douglas says:

    Thank you for this timely article – I’m 51, been celibate for almost 5 years and can count the number of times I’ve had sex (not men) on 4 fingers in the last 10 years. Hadn’t realized I was the one that shut that door and recently I’ve managed to flip switch in my brain and body back on. It’s quite an entertaining and interesting experience and experimentation that I would have totally turned my back on not that long ago. What’s keeping me (sort of) grounded is being very aware of all the points you raised but it’s always a great idea to hear them again.

    • FlyingKal says:

      @ Stephanie Douglas:
      Hi, thanks for sharing. And if I may say so, congratulations to your newfound “flipswitch”.

      If you would share some more, I would really like to hear some more about your experience and the environment in which you have managed your turn-around, and your thoughts around the whole process.

      Wish you all the best on your journey
      /K

  2. When it comes to my past, I don’t have any skeletons there and neither does my wife. However, I feel like the past is the past and not everyone needs to be discussed.
    I very much agree w/the experimentation and dislikes thoughts.

    • I agree, Larry. When it comes to trying something, I don’t want to hear “Sarah and I used to do this, let’s try it!” That kind of kills the mood and I don’t want to be thinking about his exes while we’re having sex. Much better to just say something like “I really want to try this with you.” There’s no need to mention your exes unless you know your partner finds it arousing.

  3. wellokaythen says:

    Let’s be honest about being honest. It can be taken too far. Honesty at all costs, no matter what, is probably not the optimal approach either. There is room for other people’s feelings and sensitivities. Volunteering everything you’re thinking and feeling the moment you feel it can be pretty unhealthy, and it can kill a relationship.

    “Lately, I’ve been fantasizing about having sex with your sister.” That may be perfectly honest, but it is not constructive honesty. (In most cases, at least.)

    • Zach Rosenberg says:

      VERY true. I somehow forgot to say “within reason” or something to that effect. Also, “yes, that dress DOES make you look fat” rarely gets you any points! But there’s ways to be honest (even about sister-sex fantasies”!) without saying it in a blunt and creepy way. I’ve found that as long as you’re plenty reassuring that your partner is the one you’re with and the one you want to be with and that there’s nothing to worry about (backed up by actions – making your partner routinely feel loved and like the center of your attention), you can more or less say you’d like to have sex with anyone on Earth – it doesn’t mean you will have sex with them. So, true – in every relationship, 100% honesty can definitely hurt if done wrong, I’m still a fan of laying as much out on the table as I can.

  4. Wow Zach. I really didn’t like your piece. I think you have good intentions but I have some concerns.

    You said: “Look, if we all wanted to have sex the same damn way every time, there wouldn’t be so many ways that your parts fit into your partner’s stuff. “

    Ouch. For me, there are so many things wrong with this. First, the idea that “experimentation” is about where you put your parts. Sex, experimentation, can be much larger and deeper than that. The second is the suggestion that we simply have different orifices (I am assuming you are suggesting this about women based on the the comments about which partner fits into whose stuff) so that our partners can look for many different ways to put stuff into them. I’m not against anyone enjoying “experimentation”. But that is not why we have different “innies”. So that a guy can find more things to put in them or do with them.. I am sure that wasn’t your true intention but it was still upsetting to read, nonetheless.

    Secondly, in my personal experiences, I have found that most heterosexual men are very into “experimentation” when it’s sexual acts that largely require the female partner to be in a more vulnerable position. Which isn’t bad onto itself. What men miss out on though is putting themselves in those vulnerable positions as well which can create further intimacy.

    I also have found that when it comes to “experimentation”, it only extends as far as what he’s largely seen in pornography and then wants to do himself. I would suggest that men begin to think about sex outside the parameters of pornography. And really be adventurous and explore sexuality on a whole other level. Physically, spiritually and yes..emotionally. You could be in for a very interesting journey. Too often we only focus on the physical experimentation that we never talk about the other nuances of sex.

    I also want to address other comments on porn. I’ll start with the least complicated one. You seemed to suggest that the only solution to the porn issue is “surrendering” and “letting your spouse have some alone-porn-time.” While that is a very viable option, so is the option of excluding pornography from the relationship and the other partner “surrendering” to having to feel like they need porn as a supplement to their lives. I think both are valid options and both should be suggested as being viable.

    I understand that watching porn is not always about your partner. I understand that people have different fantasies and can still be attracted to others. But I really feel like you’ve belittled and blown off the concerns some people can have about pornography as well. No matter how rational we are about the fact that we are still attracted to other people, even while in a relationship, you can not ask people to make this their only parameter. You also can not ignore the very real fact that people feel jealous over their partner’s attention or attraction to others, not because they believe that person is going to leave them, or because they are insecure or unstable, but because that is a very viable signal of that person’s attraction to another is a base level biological threat. if we allow for others to have feelings of desire toward others, then you also equally have to allow for others to have feelings of mild jealously about where their partner’s head is at.

    And yes, for the most part, the people in porn don’t look like their partners..that is at least the women. Since there is a much harsher imperative directed toward women through porn then is ever directed toward men for the simple fact that porn still largely, and most likely will always, cater to men mostly. So yes, as a man, it’s very easy for you to say such things. The likelihood of your female partner seeking out 18 year old school boys to masturbate to…unlikely. The likelihood of a male partner seeking out 18 year old school girls to masturbate to..pretty likely. And then to e told about how it’s no big deal kind of insensitive.

    Further, again, I largely find that men are not too interested in movies that are equal parts man and female. Most porn, still today, still largely focuses on the woman and her body and what she needs to look like while a wide range of older, or over weight or regular guys can have sex with her.

    This doesn’t even touch on the concerns an individual can have about the amount of disrespect and objectification in pornography itself. So please stop advocating for everyone to simply accept porn or simply “surrender” to their partner’s porn use. That is a gross over simplification of a very complex issue that deserves to be acknowledged from all sides.,

    When a certain Huggies commercial aired that portrayed fathers in not the best light, men stood up against it. Yet time and time again, I am frustrated with how often a lot of guys seem to justify porn or tell women to basically get over it because it gives men boners.

    And no, I am not a “sexual rock-star”. I am me. And that is better then having to be this crazy hyper-version of sexuality that society is eager to peddle off onto us. Don’t encourage your partner to be a “sexual rock-star”, encourage them to be themselves and be humbled by that instead. Be humbled by the way they allow you to see them at their most vulnerable and stop expecting them to perform like pornstars or talk about what pornstars make you excited to simply have sex with your partner.

    • Zach Rosenberg says:

      Well Erin – I was replying to you. It was a very lonnnnng reply. I was thanking you for your comment. I was admitting that some things here needed clarification. I agreed with you on some points, and didn’t agree with you on others. I made really good counter-points to your really good points.

      And then the page randomly reloaded on its own and I lost the whole thing. Gone. All of it. No Ctrl+Z, no back button. Poof.

      So, let’s just say that I appreciate your comment and that’s that. Thanks :)

      • Fair enough Zach. One more thing…”love-slap”…. what a confusing term. If you want to slap your partner during sex, have at it. If you want to be slapped by your partner, again, have at it. (Although hetro-male porn does seem to enjoy women being slapped more then men being slapped.) Obviously that doesn’t neccesarily mean you don’t love your partner or that you want to abuse them. But the act of wanting to slap your partner during sex isn’t exactly one done out of love either. So perhaps we should not attach deeply, emotional words that conjure up the warm and fuzzy parts inside us with a physical action that is techniqually physical violence. I’m afraid that by confusing the two, we step into dangerous waters of attaching physical hitting with love.

        • Zach Rosenberg says:

          Hey Erin – thanks again for all of the comments. I wanted to again say that you brought up good points on a lot of this. But I also did want to mention a couple of things in brief (I’m still pissed I lost my giant comment) that I was very deliberate in not mentioning genders as many places as I could, as to not fall into the trap of just making this all about hetero man-forcing-woman-to-“experiment”. But you’re right – some of the language DID indeed end up veering into that realm. And for that, I hope that I get a little of forgiveness. I didn’t mention some of the experimentation that people can participate in that doesn’t necessarily result in a woman painfully accepting a guy’s fantasies to screw whatever his penis fits into. There are plenty of “experimental” things (to us at least) that my wife and I had tried that we’d never tried before. Even lube to me is “experimental” to an extent for me because I’m a little OCD and don’t like things on my skin. But there’s also stuff like filming (with everyone’s knowledge and consent of course), handcuffing the man (if we’re talking about hetero-cis sex) and letting his woman “have her way with him” or, even the man putting something in his own butt!

          As for the porn-jealousy insights you’d mentioned, you’re right again. I don’t want to belittle someone feeling jealous about it by saying “everyone gets porn time.” That’d have to be an arrangement people would have to talk through and be okay with. In my relationship, I had a problem with porn, and so my wife and I talked about it and I’ve given it up unless we’re watching together – and that wasn’t MY provision, that was my wife saying she enjoys porn, but wants to make sure it’s not replacing her, which is a totally logical and fair thing to feel – and links into your comment about the jealousy. To your point, I didn’t belittle my wife’s feeling jealous over porn – I validated it and worked on my own addiction. And now, sometimes, my wife and I will watch porn together as part of our foreplay. And we both are really in-tune with what kinds of attractions we have with other body types or characteristics like hair color or tattoos…so it makes it more fun for us to say stuff like “oh, do you like him/her? What would you want to do if they were here?” It doesn’t hurt that I also have no qualms looking at a man and saying “he’s cute” (and my wife is that way with women), so results may vary relationship-to-relationship.

          Porn’s a tough subject. I know some women believe that porn is objectifying to women – and others that believe that a woman’s got a choice to go into porn or not, so if she’s there, she’s there within her own agency and doing something she enjoys. I don’t know where in the spectrum I fall with that – specifically because I can’t tell you which answer is right. I believe that women are certainly exploited to a degree in porn, but have also heard from women in porn that have said “this is what I enjoy doing.” I don’t know. What I DO know is that violent and degrading stuff doesn’t turn me on, but I suppose all of that depends on what I consider violent and degrading, right?!

          And to your point about slapping. I’ve been on both ends. I’ve asked my wife to bite me or slap me…and she’s asked me to. I understand your hesitancy to link emotion and physical violence. But at what point, or with how many disclaimers can we say basically what you said: “If you want to slap your partner during sex, have at it. If you want to be slapped by your partner, again, have at it”? That’s what I hope my suggestion was. And really, with the “love-slap” thing, I was suggesting that if you don’t like that sort of physicality, please make it known, since it IS something that people do. I’m not judging the people or taking a poll of whether they’re doing it from an emotionally good or bad place or how hard it is. I was simply suggesting to set limits.

          In any event, before this site nukes another one of my comments – I wanted to again say thanks for commenting. I didn’t really do my initial comment full justice, but I think I’ve addressed a couple of the things you’d rightfully mentioned.

          • Bravo, Zach! I’m glad you were able to get together your thoughts and republish.
            I don’t think you need forgiveness for seeing things through your own eyes, we all knew it was a guy writing this. I’m impressed by your ability to self-evaluate, and perhaps give up a position or two. Good stuff.

            One work of caution: I once saw an X-ray of Buzz Lightyear up a guys butt. Apparently, when it was being pulled out, the wings deployed and it wedged in there tight enough to warrant a trip to the ER.
            An unhappy ending to that toy story!

          • Zach, I have no problem with you writing an article from a heterosexual male perspective. It’s probably my favorite kind of article being a heterosexual female.

            I just personally find that among a lot of heterosexual men, they sometimes can have limited ideas about what exactly sex can be about and what “true” experimentation is.

            What I’ve largely seen, experienced myself and heard among heterosexual men, their perceptions of sex is largely connected to “experimentation” from pornography and have spent very little time formulating their own ideas of sex and experimentation on a physical, emotional and even spiritual level separate from the content of sexual material created by others.

            I’ll give you an example. Now you know you don’t like things on your skin, and that is 100% perfectly fine. There is nothing wrong with that. And this next example is in no way to say that your personal preference is in anyway wrong. I am simply giving you this disclaimer because of how sometimes things can be misconstrued online.

            I was having a discussion with a group of people on another website. On this website, the men are pretty open about talking about the kind of things they enjoy. It goes anywhere from receiving blow jobs, having sex “doggy-style”, to slapping a woman (which has become amazingly popular in a few short years because I remember a time when talking about hitting your partner was met with horrified looks) or ejaculating on her body. When I suggested they try something new and ejaculate on their own bodies, you might have thought I suggested they kick some puppies. I received such negative reactions from some of them who apparently believed I was being “disrespectful”. It is SO acceptable to see a man ejaculate on a woman’s body, that it’s no big deal anymore. But suggest the same be done to a heterosexual man, and a good chunk of them from this other website, became mighty uncomfortable and even angry where they believed I was being disrespectful to them. It wasn’t just a matter of “Oh, I don’t like that”. It made me wonder why they didn’t feel it was it was “disrespectful” to ejaculate on a woman’s body. Or maybe they do but it’s been shown in porn so much with so many “sexy” situations, that it’s just become okay to do to women. I don’t know. These were not men who were not up to experimentation or were “prudes”. However, they were only up for as much “experimentation” as what they were use to seeing in pornography. Even within my own relationships, most men do not want to physically (or emotionally) put themselves in the more vulnerable sexual position while they do want their partner, me in this case, to. They also are eager to “suggest” *new* things for us to do which is usually pretty formula driven by again..what they’ve seen in pornography.

            I am certainly not saying this is every woman’s experience but it’s been mine. And I do not think that I am such a huge anomaly from society that it also isn’t infact a problem for other women as well in their heterosexual relationships.

            To be honest, I don’t think people really need more encouragement to find new ways to look at porn. I actually think for a change that people should be told to put the porn down a little more often then not considering how much porn society is alreayd consuming on a regular basis.

            Focusing on other people during your foreplay works for you and your partner. But I just can’t imagine, for me, how it builds intimacy to discuss what other men I’d like to do if they were “there”. Sure, I can sometimes understand talking about what you are attracted to. But to do so during the act of sex, where you are focusing your attraction of others on those visual depictions instead of focusing on your partner who is real and alive and there with you? That simply seems backwards to me. There is a difference between sharing what you are attracted to in non-sexual situations vs making the sexual interaction between you and your partner about other people instead of the sex you are actually having with your partner. I truly wish I understood your viewpoint here but I admit I have a hard time understanding why that works for you and your partner.

            And yes, porn is a tough subject. But you know what? I am going to refer back to that Huggies Commercial example. The men who acted in the commercial to portray that view of fatherhood and masculinity, they agreed to act in that commercial portraying that view. Just like yes, there are women who agree to do pornography. I will even go as far as to say that some of those men in that commercial enjoyed the role otherwise they wouldn’t be actors in the first place or have accepted the job if they were that much against it themselves. So one has to ask themselves if the agreement of an actor or actress to portray a role and their enjoyment of the role negate the ability for something to be objectifying, belittling or stereotyping. I don’t think it does.

            I also know that a lot of men use the argument that they don’t like the violent and degrading stuff. A) Just as you said, it depends on what you consider violent and degrading. if you as me, the bar for what is considered violent and degrading has really dropped in recent years. It was once shocking to physically slap your partner. Especially with the popularity to which we accept the face-slap..made popular by yes..porn. Was no one ever not engaging in the face-slap pre-internet porn? Of course not. But it sure does seem vastly more popular and easily accepted in today’s world as part of our PC sexuality. And some might think that PC sexuality is when all parties are being treated equally respectful. But I think PC sexuality has become what has been deemed perfectly okay by pornography. Such as the popularity of slapping your partner or engaging in other really hardcore sexual acts that have become rather normalized in “polite” society.

            I guess my issue with the “love-slap” term is that in a lot of popular male heterosexual porn, there seems to be a wider and bigger confusion about what is good healthy sex and what is simply physical or verbal abuse. In a lot of male heterosexual porn, the verbal and physical abuse of women is normalized and even made “sexy”. And that’s my concern. I see this divide becoming even murkier among men and women alike and it’s a scary place to live in as a woman.

            Like I said, I do think you had well meaning intentions. But I just personally have my own struggles on this topic and think the conversation needs to be had. So I am not trying to be nit-picky for the sake of being nit-picky or deny the fact that I do believe you have good and healthy intentions. I simply want us to think about the words we use and things we may simply accept to easily. Even if they are small words because sometimes those small words lead to bigger culturally accepted beliefs.

            But thank you for sharing more of your story and where you and your partner are coming from regarding your own experiences. Clearly we have different experiences and I enjoyed reading about yours and the respectful discussion we are having despite not totally agreeing with one another even as we can see each other’s good points.

            • Hi Erin

              You write:
              ✺”there seems to be a wider and bigger confusion about what is good healthy sex and what is simply physical or verbal abuse. In a lot of male heterosexual porn, the verbal and physical abuse of women is normalized and even made “sexy”. And that’s my concern”✺
              That is my concern as well.
              And maybe those that ask people to use more porn are more kinky than the rest of us.
              I do not want to have my sexuality changed.
              Not everybody wants to drag porn into their marriage bed or love life.

    • @Erin,

      Very good Erin.

      I am kind of neutral about his piece. Since I do not personally like porn, I did not like his view(s). But, people are entitled to use porn as they see fit.

      I think conceptually, the piece was OK. It’s just that the details and specifics are a bit uncomfortable. Aya pointed out one example above.

    • I so agree with your stance on porn. 99.9% of pornography is degrading and, frankly, demoralizing towards women. They are used, hardly ever “pleasured” themselves, and are treated like an object with multiple holes that were put there only for a mans enjoyment. Personally, I dislike porn for these reasons. BUT, there is some good stuff out there (usually directed by women) that shows sex in a more loving, balanced light where both parties “enjoy” what they are doing- no degrading necessary. And no, I do not believe that you ever ever have to just accept that it will be a part of yours or your parters life. This whole article is about honesty, and if you honestly say “Honey (to a man or woman), pornography makes me feel sad/uncomfortable/angry/turned off and I would prefer it not be a part of our sex lives” your parter should respect that and not make you “just deal with it.” Now, if he/she insists that this is something that they really enjoy and would not like to give up, both parties need to find a common ground and meet in the middle.

      I agree with being open and honest about experimentation. These are such important aspects of making love (why wasnt this term used more in this article?). Sex is such a delicious and wonderful part of life, when it is consensual, respectful and looked at by both parties as sacred and to be treated as such.

      • T, I always wondered why though more fair porn was directed by women and why men were not also wanting to show more “balanced” stuff. Why do male directors choose not to be more fair? Why does most heterosexual male porn show stuff that usually infact does make women the submissive object to be used? That’s a big question for me.

    • Erin, I love this.

      I personally don’t mind the idea of porn. However, today’s market is very sexist. It is very much the epitome of male gaze. I don’t like today’s porn because it turns human beings into masturbatory tools. Albeit, that is exactly what the idea is going for. It dehumanizes sex to an extreme. There’s the site, make love not porn. It’s great because it’s just couples/people/ actual humans sharing their sexual experiences. Not fetish-izing another or turning sex into a goal of their own, selfish sexual gratification.

      When I have sex with a partner, I make it very much about him. It’s not degrading to want to give pleasure. As I would expect him to make his experience about me because it’s not selfish to expect pleasure. There’s so much more fulfillment out of sex for each other rather than for yourself. You aren’t using each other as masturbatory tools.

      Honest sex is the best sex. This article however seems to be very male gaze influenced. Your comment, Erin, is right on.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for that, Erin. Excellently put.

  6. Erin – *Applause* for being a “self-esteem rock star,” succinctly demonstrated by your counter points above.

    Zach – Yeah, this page ate my homework too, so I believe you about the mystery reload. After it happened, I had to recreate my thoughts and post again. I so wanted to read your really good counter points to Erin’s really good points.

    I just wish I could figure out how to put a rubber ring around my clitoris so I could start looking for those alternate entry points you mentioned. Do you think I could find some porn on that?

  7. katherine says:

    So is this post sponsored by Forta or not? I would like much clearer boundaries about when you guys are being paid to promote a product to us vs. real unbiased advice.

  8. My wife just spit out her coffee with the “any hole is a goal” line! Thanks for posting this. Felt stuck in a rut after 12 wonderful years of marriage and this honestly helped. Thanks.

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