His Sperm Clouded My Brain: How Things Can Get Sticky After Sex

 “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.” Lao Tzu

He aimed his gun at the target with exact precision, releasing his sperm faster than a speeding bullet, speeding pass my cervix, penetrating multitude of layers until reaching the folding crevices of my limbic lobe. Like a cloud of smoke after shooting a pistol, his sperm clouded my brain. His sex was literally mind blowing. I couldn’t think straight. His penis constantly infiltrated my mind. The same man, who prior to sex, I considered a loser and a jerk at times. But afterwards, I somehow desired to bear his children. His bad behavior suddenly became excusable. Eventually, after learning the hard way, I allowed his sperm to slowly drain, drip by drip, out of my brain. Thinking more clearly, I asked myself how this could have happened.

This can happen to both sexes. After sex things can get sticky, explaining the ‘it’s complicated’ option on Facebook. Generally, it is believed women become more emotionally attached after sex. This may be true to an extent but the reverse can also be true. When deciding to remain single, I intentionally picked sex buddies, who I wouldn’t fall for. For example, the sexy, alpha male athlete who was dumb as bricks. Even though chances seem slim, you still may fall for her. Then it gets even sticker since men are more accustomed to suppressing rather than feeling emotion, thus making it harder to decipher lust from love. At first she is air-headed, overly critical or whatever your complaint may be, until her lips ignite an explosion deep inside your loins. This once imperfect bombshell suddenly is your dream woman. Off to the chapel you go!


Biology is to blame, at least partially. During sex feel good chemicals, mainly oxytocin, is released into our brains. This makes sex highly addictive, causing us to crave more. These chemicals also cause your ‘I am King of her bush’ post-sex high feeling. Your brain in this vulnerable state can play tricks by firing false signals of love. This is only problematic if sex causes you to fall for a woman who is wrong for you. So how do you decipher love from lust? How do you bypass neurological reactions in order to think straight? When the waves of her sexual juices cause your brain to flood, where do you find the answer?

To clean up the stickiness learn to follow your heart. I know its cliché and how the hell do you do that anyways? As a kid, I didn’t understand what the cocaine snorting, fruity, loopy bird, selling diabetes causing cereal, meant by saying follow your nose. How can you follow your nose in the jungle? Aren’t there competing jungle smells? Doesn’t the smell of monkey shit overpower the smell of Fruit Loops? What if monkeys ate Fruit Loops too? Do you ever confuse the aroma of fruity monkey shit with actual Fruit Loops? Sorry, I got carried away. I’m a bit resentful because my nose led to liver with onions not Fruit Loops. My point is following your senses can be misleading. Your eyesight could mistake an object in the road for a person. Your ears could hear knocking when there is silence. The same way toucan Sam’s phallic nose led to his unhealthy desire, when following your sensuous penis, it will lead to your desire but not your heart’s desire. Following your heart is complicated too and may lead to unpleasant discoveries. However, you will find truth and ultimately what’s best for you.

Begin dissecting fruity monkey shit from real love, by thinking of her outside of the bedroom. Does your mind keep reverting back to sex against your will? Think of the good times you share outside of the bedroom. Think of the nonsexual conversations you have. Can you only tolerate her for the fifteen minutes spent in bed? If there are few nonsexual activities or you only think of her sexually, then its good indication of lust. Put sex aside altogether and thoroughly examine her. Would you consider her a friend? Would she make a good friend? Do you like her character? Would you be embarrassed introducing her to family? Do you truly know and like who she is? Does she respect you and others? Do your values align with hers? Do you even know her values? Make a list of pros and cons. Is sex the only pro? Think of the future. Can you picture her next to you? Not next to you in bed but supportive and understanding of you.

Question yourself. Be honest with yourself. You will be much wiser to find out early on that it’s only lust not love. If you and she both accept that your relationship is purely sexual then bang on. If not, move on no matter how difficult it is to leave good ass behind. You are doing yourself a favor by preventing possible heartbreak. For a clearer perspective allow your brain to drain and turn on the lights in your heart. After all if your heart isn’t involved it’s not love; it’s merely your deceptive senses and tricky mind at play.

Quote from Think Exist  Photo purchased from Shutterstock


About Jeanette Ruiz

I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so that you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise; in the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. To read more articles please dwell with me at Cyber Mancave (cybermancave.com).


  1. SteveS’s jimmies have been russled

  2. No penises are not weapons and vaginas aren’t targets. Neither should women be referred to as destructive bombshells exploding the loins of men or merely as good ass that men should leave behind as I have done so in my article. My point is that sex can be mind blowing and destructive to any sex if causing you to fall for a destructive person. Sorry you found it offensive.

  3. Please do not use weapons as a metaphor for penises, I find it rather offensive, the penis is not a cold machine of destruction.

  4. Maybe it’s not his sperm, but his new kitteh: How Your Cat Is Making You Crazy

  5. Rapses,

    Although I disagree with you on just about everything, I do agree with this. If a man is too eager or quick to want to sleep with me, then I think he is that way with other women too. Waiting isn’t going to kill anybody.

    • Actually I have never seen or heard anybody dying due to sexual starvation. You are trying to build an inverted pyramid. The traditional (right) way of doing things was to let couple meet a few times, check out their compatibility and if compatible, form a committed relationship (marriage) and then enjoy their conjugal activity. On this opinion piece, you are starting from the fun activity and the thinking about compatibility under the effect of hormones and deciding whether to go for relationship or nor. My take on this is “When in doubt, don’t do it.”

  6. Though personally I am dead against promiscuity, I would advice gentlemen and ladies who indulge in suck activities “f@#k and forget.” If something can be easily obtained, then it is not worth it.

  7. Thanks Nick. I have been called brutally honest before but it always comes from the heart. I need brutal honesty too because otherwise I just won’t get the hints.

  8. I absolutely love the brutal, honest and genuinely heartfelt story in this. This is amazing.

  9. There is a hormone that only women have (amongst many) and is only released at two times: 1- Breast-feeding a baby; 2- Orgasm. It is, specifically, a bonding hormone. Men don’t have it. Biology is powerful!

    • Julie Gillis says:

      Men do have it, but in lower amounts. Women have testosterone, but in lower amounts.

      • Biology is powerful! Sometimes I wonder if we really ever have control over our bodies considering all the unseen things that happens underneath the surface and how it impacts our behavior. Julie it is beautiful how man and woman have a bit of the other built in them so to speak. Reminds me of the perfect harmonious balance found in ying and yang.

    • Sharlet,

      As Julie said men do have oxytocin too. It is interesting that insufficient amounts of oxytocin can play a factor in social disorders such as lack of empathy, sociopathy and narcissistic personality disorder. This may explain why women have more of it than men since we need to be empathetic in order to care for newborns (as you mentioned with breastfeeding). Since it does create a bond for females this company is trying to sell it to men in order to be more empathetic and to get women to fall in love. How silly is that! I wouldn’t mess up my brain like that!


      • It is interesting to me that so many posts from men are vefiliid as whiny or misogynistic as they try to discuss the male point of view on this topic. At the risk of being attacked for raising an ugly question, I have to wonder if there is ANY point in your minds when a woman has ANY responsibility to her partner to fulfill his sexual desires. Don’t most cultures recognize sexual partnership as an essential reason people get married? Isn’t this understanding (or misunderstanding, as many here seem to be suggesting) at the center of the issue you are discussing here?Over the years, I have known so many men who tell stories of how they dated a woman for a period of time, had great sex as part of a wonderful relationship and thought that they had the perfect partner. Once married, these same men noticed that the woman almost immediately changed and started to refuse or withold sex on a regular basis. These men feel cheated in that they married their wives thinking they knew their sexual appetites and believing their sexual desires were equal and compatible. What do you make of women who go all out to form a relationship with men with strong sexual relations and then change their behavior completely once they manage to get the man to marry them? Many of the women here seem to be saying that if the man loves the woman, he should simply learn to deal with the lack of passion and sex in the relationship. But if the man has a strong need for physical intimacy with his wife, how is it wrong for him to ask her to behave at least somewhat like the woman he thought he married?I’m not talking about women who’s libidos change over time due to various factors. I am speaking specifically of women who present themselves one way before marriage and quite another way almost immediately after marriage. I hear of this sort of scenario more often than any other as a reason why many men feel intensely frustrated with their marriages and feel the need to express their displeasure with their wives over the lack of physical intimacy in the relationship. Often, these guys are labelled jerks and insenstive by people who are unwilling to accept that they have some right to expect that the woman they married was being honest about her libido and not just trying to land a husband. If women want to make it a crime for a man to attempt to guilt a woman into sex, shouldn’t there be another law that makes it illegal to deliberately mislead a partner into believing you are something you are not sexually? It seems to me to be a terrible thing for a woman to lure a man with a strong sexual appetite into marriage only to consign him to a lifetime of begging her to act like she did when they were married.The huge pink elephant in the room here is the fact that men and women often have different sexual appetites and women often work very hard to hide this fact up to the point of marriage because they know that the man they are interested in would probably not marry them if he knew she was not really sexually compatible with him. It seems that many women are completely comfortable with this oft-discussed form of deception and would claim it as some sort of feminine prerogative. I would say that complete liberation in the bedroom should require complete honesty before marriage vows are taken.

  10. Thanks for your comment Anthony. Considering the high divorce rate many people must agree with you. My intention was more on avoiding Ms. Wrong and possible heartbreak. I don’t think anyone could help with finding Ms./Mr. Right. = )

    • Anthony Zarat says:

      I see. You think that I am proposing that men should not marry the right woman because marriage might ruin a good thing. Interesting, I had not thought of that. I suppose it is possible.

      My objection is different. I think every man has a moral responsibility to his fellow men to refuse marriage, especially to a good woman. Here is a make believe story that I previously used to show what I mean:

      Imagine a pair of Maryland farmers who are good friends — one white and one black. Suppose that the friends are instantly transported back in time, to 1810. Local law enforcement finds them and tells them that they can only continue to work their farm if the black farmer agrees to be the white farmer’s slave.

      The white farmer says:
      “Don’t worry, friend, sign on the dotted line. You can trust me, we will work together as we always have, with respect and equality.”

      The black farmer replies:
      “I am sorry friend, but I prefer to make a new start, North of the river. If I am your slave and you treat me well, it is even worse than if I am your slave and you treat me badly. If we do this, we would add legitimacy to a corrupt and brutal institution that brings suffering to millions of innocents. I know you mean well, but I cannot accept your offer.”

      Do you see why it is the moral obligation of every man to refuse marriage? It has nothing to do with finding, or not finding, the “right” woman. It has to do with adding legitimacy to a corrupt and wicked institution of feminist oppression of men.

      • Wow Anthony! This is a very interesting perspective. I often stay quiet about my views on marriage mainly because I am confused about what to think. At times I think how sweet and at other times I do see it as both partners having a ball and chain. Plus marriages in my family aren’t happily ever after. One of the articles I am working on is about the history of the institution of marriage. I got the inspiration from a coworker who cheats on his wife and he says marriage is really only for women. Men are not supposed to be monogamous by nature. I told him historically marriage has been for men and if he thought that why then why was it him who proposed. If you want to write an article about this for my site please feel free. I may not agree entirely but the perspective is unique and will provoke thought.

        • Anthony Zarat says:

          I am married to a wonderful woman. She is my best friend, my life partner, my steadfast companion, my biggest fan, and the granite foundation upon which I have built my life.

          I fear that a friend, brother, or (God forbid) one of my sons might chose marriage based on my good luck.

          The reality is that, more often than not, marriage is the instrument by which children are taken from fathers. Such fathers serve a life sentence in a shadow world, occupying the same physical space as the real world. In this shadow, the purple drains from spring flowers, the green drains from summer grass, the red drains from fall leaves, and the white of winter turns deathly gray like the dying heart of the father whose longing for his children slowly overwhelms his sanity.

          Marriage is no place for a man. Especially when the marriage is a good one.

          • You’re trying to be poetic, but it’s really just a bunch of crud. You say to have a great marriage, a wife you love, and then you claim that marriage is no place for a man?

            What, you think you’re the only guy in the world who will ever have a great marriage?

            Every committed relationship is a risk, whether you call it marriage or not. And those relationships are absolutely worth taking a risk for.

        • I disagree, JR. I think it’s a huge myth that men aren’t “supposed” to be monogamous by nature. The fact is that human children were very difficult to raise successfully in a paleolithic environment; it almost certainly would have taken more than one parent to raise a family.

          I also don’t buy that men are supposed to have multiple partners at any given time. That is a role for a limited number of men with high social status. Most men need to start and commit to a family in order for their offspring to successfully reach adulthood. Many men simply don’t have the opportunity or ability to reproduce at will–that’s just a fact.

          Commitment can be a very effective survival strategy. Humans are not the only animals that enter monogamous relationships. Also, the idea that men are supposed to sleep around with tons of women is reinforced by claims like yours–but such ideas are far more cultural than biological. For instance, many ancient African cultures were and are polyandrous.

          • Steve,
            Sorry I should have made the statement more clear. The cheating husband claims that monogamy is not natural and of course his theory only applies to him and not to his wife. I asked him if he thought this to be true then why did he get married twice and both times was the one who proposed. I believe in monogamous relationships for myself at least. Thanks for your comment!

          • NickMostly says:

            Steve, your supposition suffers from the fallacy of the false dilemma. While it may be true that it takes more than one adult to successfully fledge a child, it doesn’t require that the additional adult(s) be the biological parents. There are at least two additional scenarios in which sexual monogamy isn’t practiced and yet the young are raised by two (or more) adults. The first is found commonly among bird species once thought to be monogamous. While the male is off looking for some strange himself, the female is unguarded and may invite in a suitor for a quickie. The second is where the children are raised by a small, tightly knit group of adults (a village, if you will). The model of non-monogamous adults all raising the children has been observed in several primate species, including humans.

          • NickMostly says:

            Oh, also…

            Humans are not the only animals that enter monogamous relationships.

            Actually, humans, like other animals, aren’t good at sexual monogamy. First we go through a serial monogamy phase. Then, like other animals, we still sleep around. There are precious few species that are sexually monogamous, and homo sapiens sapiens is no exception.
            If you are talking about social monogamy, then yes, there are quite a number of other species who behave as the swans do (socially monogamous while getting some strange on the side). The book, “The Myth of Monogamy” by Barash and Lipton go into considerable detail about all this monogamy business.

  11. Anthony Zarat says:

    Teaching men how to marry the right woman incorrectly assumes that when a man finds the right woman, he should marry her.

    The last thing a man should ever do is marry the right woman.


  1. […] Thanks for dwelling with me! This article was originally published at  The Good Men Project! […]

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