How Not to Destroy Your Marriage

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About Mark Tyrrell

Mark Tyrrell is a therapist, speaker, author and creator of over 800 online therapy downloads. He has raised a family and now, to recover, writes a lot.


  1. I enjoyed this piece because I am happily married but also recognize it does take work and there are times when my frustrations and boredom loom larger as troubling issues for me. One thing I did not notice was a discussion about maintaining a satisfying sexual relationship. I believe there are similarities in what it takes to have good sex in the points outlined in this piece, particularly about fostering good communication and having fun, being romantic.
    For me, the main issue that my wife and I have grappled with during our 8 year marriage has been with keeping the spark, (ugh hate that term but it applies nonetheless) and in not allowing our relationship to take a back seat after having kids. I do think there are people who are good at marriage, have the skills and the general emotional disposition to handle being married. My wife and I seem to both be good at marriage and it results in our mutual satisfaction.
    There should be more studies of good married couples to determine what is done right as opposed to studies of unhappy married people to see what goes wrong.

  2. wellokaythen says:

    Not bad advice, on the whole. I’ve read numerous “save your marriage” over the past few years, and this is pretty common “best practices,” on the whole.

    I think the healthy marriage/healthy life thing may be a little misleading, though. There is some documented *correlation* between being married and living longer, but the cause and effect is not yet clear. It’s not clear that being married causes you to live longer. There could be something else at work besides cause and effect. It is entirely possible that the people who are more likely to get married are just more likely to have healthier life habits, more likely to have a steady income so have better health care, more likely to plan for the future, etc., so the marriage and the life expectancy are both caused by something else.

    Getting married may not actually add years to your life. [Cue the statistics about battered husbands and battered wives.]

  3. Eric M. says:

    Good tips!

  4. Great article, men can learn alot form this. I know I will be using it. I have made alot of mistakes.

  5. hmm, these are helpful for an already kind of normal marriage. Seems you missed the big obvious ones like DONT CHEAT LIE OR STEAL.

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