Some mild private lusting is not only OK, but purely human, writes Trent Kays.
Recently, I travelled to Montreal for an academic conference on business and professional writing. The conference was a resounding success, and I loved Montreal, a beautiful city where you can hear the languages of French and English mingling like two lovers. However, though they were both delightful, the most memorable thing from my trip wasn’t the conference or city.
The most memorable moments from my trip were the flights. It was my first time flying Air Canada, and I didn’t know what to expect. They were wonderful—smooth, comfortable, accommodating, good seats, and a lot of legroom, something really tall people are always concerned with. And I’ve never had so many people smile at me before. But that’s not why I loved the flights.
I loved them because of the flight attendants. Now, I’ve always had a thing for flight attendants. I don’t know why. And my proclivity for them is independent of gender or sexual identity. It’s bizarre. But it’s such a strong force.
I used to be ashamed to say that flight attendants turn me on because our society often shuns overt statements of physical attraction, lest they be interpreted as objectification. I don’t think I’ve ever objectified men or women, but when I’m on an airplane and an attendant walks by in his or her snappy uniform, I feel my nether regions squirm. My mind becomes awash in sexual attraction and my flirtiest behavior.
Like I said, it doesn’t matter if the attendant is male or female. I’m bisexual—no, pansexual—for anyone locked with me in a giant aluminum tube, rocketing across the sky at 600 miles per hour, who pushes a rickety cart down the aisle, bending over so that the pants fabric across their ass tightens. I mean, so that 14D gets her pretzels.
I don’t understand it exactly. Perhaps I have a thing for authority figures or uniforms. No, that can’t be it, because I never feel lustful toward uniformed people in any other environment. That’s partly why it’s so odd. All I know is that, whatever it is, I love it.
I fight this attraction every time I fly, but I often can’t help myself. The prude in me says to calm down, while the lustful creature in me cheers the attraction on. These battling identities may certainly find their parallel in modern society. That I would relish the opportunity to join the mile-high club with any of these attendants? Perhaps not as much.
The kinks that make up my sexual habits are vast and far-reaching. I am guilty of lust in my heart, but who isn’t? I think it’s important to strive for equality, work to end objectification, of all genders and sexes, and help foster an enlightened equality for all. But we shouldn’t forget that humans are sexual beings. It’s in our nature to pursue pleasure, and I’m all for it. Our time on this planet is short, so why shouldn’t consenting adults enjoy themselves?
You may find my sexual liberalness somewhat shocking, but it’s true. I’m not ashamed to say that I enjoy pleasure of all types, from the sexual to the intellectual. My penchant for flight attendants is one thing I’ve often struggled with because those in that line of work have often encountered drunken businessmen and women pinching their asses and treating them as objects. But, I am not one of those people. I most certainly wouldn’t walk up to a flight attendant and say, “Hey, could I have some orange juice, and some sex?” But I can’t deny the lust I feel growing in my heart and running through my body, straight to my groin.
Even in the 21st century, the broader image of men as pigs still persists. You may think I’m a pig after reading this brief glimpse into my life. The truth is, I’m not a pig; I’m human. I have sexual urges, many of which I’ve spent my life ignoring or being ashamed of because I felt like I wasn’t doing my society well thinking about those things. I felt like I wasn’t as progressive as I could be or that by having this kind of attraction I was objectifying men and women without even knowing. However, these are just not the case. I’m not objectifying flight attendants by being lustful for them; I’m celebrating them. I’m celebrating what makes them who they are. They are humans and sexual beings who live, work, and yearn just like all other humans, including me.
I’ve never acted on my lust because I think that would cross the line. Instead, I play scenarios out in my head like imagined pornography, and when the plane lands and I make my way toward the door, I smile and say to the flight attendants, “Thank you for a lovely flight.” It’s polite, but it’s true, because they make every flight lovely. When I fly, I can simply close my eyes, rest my head, and be a purely lustful creature, and there’s nothing wrong with it.
Life is short and pleasure is great. Embrace the lust in your heart and the hedonism at your fingertips every so often, and I think we’ll all be better for it.