A guy finally meets his dream girl, only to discover that someone else is her soul mate.
Dear Sexes: There is a woman in one of our offices in another city who is everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. She’s amazing. Whenever she comes to my town to work, she asks me to get together, breakfasts and dinners and drinks almost every day. When she’s got a drink in her she seems to be in love with me, holding my hand in taxis and hugging me randomly. She’s my dream girl. Except she just got married and refers to her husband as her “soul mate.” It’s torture. I haven’t touched her but I’m dying to. What do I do?
She Said: This breaks my heart. What a horrible position this girl has put you in! She obviously has feelings for you too, and you can console yourself with that. Being as I don’t believe in the idea that there’s only one “One” in the world for each person, it could be that the two of you would be really happy together, too.
However, you have to ask yourself if even the best case scenario is what you want. Would you want to be the one who broke up her marriage? Would you want to be the one she cheated with, and then beat herself up over, for a lifetime of marriage to him? You have to shut this down, tell her the truth if you can. Tell her a lie if you must. But end all non-work meetings with her.
My heart, however, leads me to say this: Sometimes people just fall in love, against all reason and planning. They do. Love is a force, almost its own being. I don’t think you should pursue her, but if you do, plan on being crushed, smashed, obliterated. If somehow you escape that fate, consider yourself the luckiest man alive.
Last, I have to quote a friend of mine who was in a similar situation: “Great love stories don’t begin with a marriage ending.”
He Said: It all sounds very romantic. No seriously, it really does. And I believe the two of you have a special bond/connection that is hard to find, and impossible to create. So… if you don’t have an issue with breaking up SOUL-MATES (and married soul-mates at that), then go right ahead with your not-so-innocent adventures together! Otherwise (and if you have a conscience) steer clear. You’ll thank me later.
P.S. People do a lot more hugging, hand-holding, and professing of feelings (and touching) when alcohol is involved. For a change of pace, try to enjoy a nice, platonic, straight-edge evening together sometime.
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Originally published at SheSaidHeSaid.