Making Love All Day Long

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Zach Rosenberg may be a married father of a preschooler, but he and his wife don’t let their sex life suffer. What’s his trick?

It’s a not-so-secret joke among parents that we’ve got very little “adult time” when there are sleep-resistant kids meandering about after bedtime. But parents can’t just forget about their own relationship once they have kids. Any nudge that parents can receive on the topic is a welcome one. Needless to say, my wife and I were excited when Durex offered us a box full of goodies designed to help us grow closer as a couple.

Screen Shot 2013-05-06 at 10.36.48 AM You’d think that all of this fear of little eyes and ears would mean short, panicked sex. But we’ve learned that sex starts long before anyone’s got their pieces near their partner’s. For us, it’s all about flirting; sometimes just mentioning early in the day that we’re thinking of the other is enough to start our engines. Sometimes it’s a well-placed (and unexpected) kiss on the neck while the other is making coffee in the morning. As the day progresses, we might text each other something naughty or cook a special meal together.

Playful flirting and touching throughout the day sets the stage for better sex later because we’ve been thinking about it—it’s not just something we’re trying to “fit in” sometime after our kid goes to bed and before we fall asleep on the couch watching television. When you’ve got tools like Durex’s massage oils that are also lubricants, there’s even more motivation to connect intimately. As you become closer sexually, you become closer as partners, too.

When we’ve been flirting throughout the day, we’re more inclined to touch each other, kiss and engage in the more direct foreplay as we get ready for bed that night. And if we’re touching and kissing while putting on our pajamas—we’re there! That’s when we open the bedside drawer and get out the fun stuff. Scented massage oil and vibrators are just another playful step in making our lovemaking an all-day affair, building up to great sex that helps us grow closer. Durex’s site offers more than condoms; they also have a line of vibrators, massage oils and lubricants, and fun “Sparks” for inspiration, too.

By the time we’re actually having sex, we’ve been making love in small ways, all day long.

 

Written in partnership with Durex. Follow Durex on Facebook! #GetCloserGoFurther

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Lead photo courtesy of David Wise

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About Zach Rosenberg

Zach Rosenberg is a husband and father living in Southern California. He is co-founder of
fatherhood news site 8BitDad.com, and a contributor to HLNtv.com. You can also find him on Twitter @zjrosenberg.

Comments

  1. I couldn’t get the video to play.

  2. If you find it necessary to go through all of this just to enjoy sex, then God bless you.

    It’s 2013 and there are far better, easier, and productive options. This sounds much like a theatrical play for God’s sake. Forget it!

    • lol It’s a paid piece, the site needs money to run. I’m curious on if it’s real or a story to suggest the uses of the products? Quite frankly I’d rather see an advert piece saying how thin the condoms are compared to the competition, and more technical stuff to make a better choice.

      • Hey Archy – thanks for the comment. You’re right, it’s a paid piece, but the story is indeed true. And it’s really not much of a process – I’m basically saying that sex is more enjoyable for my wife and I when we think about it early in the day and begin flirting early. I mean, our evenings are terrible; we have dinner, put our kid to bed (sometimes we give our kid dinner, then put him to bed, then have our OWN dinner), and we’re so tired from the day that even if we WANT to have sex, we need time to just decompress and watch TV before launching into it (and also, we need to wait a natural amount of time to ensure our son isn’t going to walk back out of his room because he’s having trouble falling asleep). But, if we’ve flirted throughout the day, the transition is easier – we already want it, so we’re not starting from scratch on it all.

        You’ve got a good idea with wanting to hear the technical aspects of condoms and such. That’d be a helpful thing for a men’s site to consider. Maybe the editors will be in a place to launch something like it in the near future!

  3. awesome stuff bro. glad to see some men are being creative.

  4. James Stanuszek says:

    The emphasis is quite basic. A man’s time frame from initiation of sex is much shorter than that of a woman. Like throwing lighter fluid on charcoal and throwing on a match… Whoosh…. fire…. However, from what I’ve gleaned is that a woman needs to be warmed up, stoked over a longer period of time more as a longer form of foreplay. It’s a man’s awareness of this that helps him keep the embers of desire glowing, occasionally stirring the coals to get more heat and when it comes time to fully engage, the woman’s desire for sex is fully aflame….

    The woman has been made to feel wanted, desired and thought of as someone more than a collection of marital duties…

    I made the mistake of not realizing this early enough in my own marriage which had dire consequences.

    That, my friends, is another story all together.

  5. FlyingKal says:

    Glad to hear it’s working for you.
    I kinda tried that with my ex. Not that we had kids, but I just enjoyed being around her, touching her (occasionally). But she would just blow me off and tell me to leave her alone. Or, at the end of the day, she would be just happy and satisfied with the kissing and cuddling, and couldn’t for the life of her see any point in actually having sex…

    Then again, I guess I wasn’t never any good at flirting or being charming.

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