Zach Rosenberg may be a married father of a preschooler, but he and his wife don’t let their sex life suffer. What’s his trick?
It’s a not-so-secret joke among parents that we’ve got very little “adult time” when there are sleep-resistant kids meandering about after bedtime. But parents can’t just forget about their own relationship once they have kids. Any nudge that parents can receive on the topic is a welcome one. Needless to say, my wife and I were excited when Durex offered us a box full of goodies designed to help us grow closer as a couple.
You’d think that all of this fear of little eyes and ears would mean short, panicked sex. But we’ve learned that sex starts long before anyone’s got their pieces near their partner’s. For us, it’s all about flirting; sometimes just mentioning early in the day that we’re thinking of the other is enough to start our engines. Sometimes it’s a well-placed (and unexpected) kiss on the neck while the other is making coffee in the morning. As the day progresses, we might text each other something naughty or cook a special meal together.
Playful flirting and touching throughout the day sets the stage for better sex later because we’ve been thinking about it—it’s not just something we’re trying to “fit in” sometime after our kid goes to bed and before we fall asleep on the couch watching television. When you’ve got tools like Durex’s massage oils that are also lubricants, there’s even more motivation to connect intimately. As you become closer sexually, you become closer as partners, too.
When we’ve been flirting throughout the day, we’re more inclined to touch each other, kiss and engage in the more direct foreplay as we get ready for bed that night. And if we’re touching and kissing while putting on our pajamas—we’re there! That’s when we open the bedside drawer and get out the fun stuff. Scented massage oil and vibrators are just another playful step in making our lovemaking an all-day affair, building up to great sex that helps us grow closer. Durex’s site offers more than condoms; they also have a line of vibrators, massage oils and lubricants, and fun “Sparks” for inspiration, too.
By the time we’re actually having sex, we’ve been making love in small ways, all day long.
Lead photo courtesy of David Wise