Should The Dog Be Allowed In The Bedroom?

A woman laments that her boyfriend lets the dog watch them have sex.

Dear Sexes: My boyfriend always lets his dog watch us have sex.  Is it just me, or is this creepy?  How do I get him to kick the dog out?

She Said: Gosh, people are weird. I can only imagine how this habit came about.

Whenever I’m totally perplexed about why men do something I try to go back to what I know about my guy friends: They don’t usually read into things, and generally they don’t have complicated agendas. So I assume that he lets the dog watch because he’s thinking, “It’s just a dog.”

Before you go to any extremes to get the dog out of the bedroom, try instead to get out of your own head. Seriously, the dog’s not judging you. He doesn’t notice your stretch marks and he’s never even heard of cellulite! If you still can’t relax I guess you’re just going to have to do something I am generally against: The Ultimatum. Dog goes in the other room or I do. Just seems a bit extreme. I mean, it is just a dog.

He Said:  Does your boyfriend secretly emulate Mel Gibson? Gibson, as Detective Riggs in “Lethal Weapon,” always let his dog watch him and his girlfriend get it on. Tell your boyfriend that Mel Gibson is a weirdo, and if he’s looking for a role-model in the bedroom, start with Brad Pitt, as Tyler Durden, in “Fight Club”.

Seriously though, it is a little weird, and the dog needs to give you and your man some private time. This can best be accomplished by having your man step up and be the alpha-dog. He needs to lay down some boundaries and house rules—for humans and animals alike. Maybe as a reward for respecting boundaries—AFTER sex time is over, perhaps the dog can join the two of you for a cuddle session (though that would still probably be a bit weird too). Regardless, during the deed, the dog should be in his own room, playing with his own bone (pun intended).

If you have a question for Josie and Eli, ask it here.

Originally appeared at SheSaidHeSaid.

—Photo Nieve44/La Luz/Flickr

About She Said He Said

Eli and Josie, friends since college, realized how lucky they were to have one another—an honest friend of the opposite sex who tells it like it is. They wanted to share that with the world and so was born.


  1. Leroy Joseph says:

    To each their own. Some people freak out at the thought of their animals ever getting on their bed and other people let them sleep with them. My wife lets our dog, a smaller loveable female pit, sleep in our bed all the time. I don’t mind really, but sometimes I will reach over to touch my wife in the dark and get a handful of fur or a paw instead of my wife’s lovely skin. LOL. As far as sex goes, we have had sex lots of times with the dog or our cat in the room. It never bothered us. Usually they are curled up on the bottom of the bed sleeping. Somehow I don’t think they are very interested in watching humans copulate.

  2. Henry Vandenburgh says:

    I won’t have a dog for this and similar reasons. Cats are okay.

  3. Kirsten (in MT) says:

    What’s the problem with the dog being in the bedroom? Is the dog barking, in the way, trying to join in the action?

    • I don’t understand the problem, either. It’s not like the dog is involved. I suppose if it was a big dog sitting nearby staring and panting it might feel awkward (but not perverted), but a dog just laying around in the room that can see what’s happening if she turns her head…so what? It’s not like she’s going to take a picture and post it on Facebook. If she does, though, I swear I’m going to shoot her water bowl repeatedly and take it to the dog park for all her bitch friends to see.

  4. I had a dog that would bark if kicked out of the room during sexy times. Otherwise she would just sleep on her bed on the floor. I also had a cat that would yowl if locked out of the room, but when let in might, at any moment, attack your feet. I think this is the origin of the quickie.

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