21 Step Guide to the Art of Masculine Domination

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About Candice Holdorf

Candice Holdorf is a writer and sex + life coach specializing in desire, sexuality and Orgasmic Meditation. She frequently contributes to elephantjournal.com and Straight Up Love, as well as maintains her own blog, The Orgasmic Life. For inquiries on her coaching, visit www.candiceholdorfcoaching.com. She is also a California-based actress, former yoga teacher and recovering anorexic who has discovered tremendous power inside of her hunger. Personal site www.candiceholdorf.com. Follow Candice on Twitter @candiceholdorf. Follow The Orgasmic Life on Twitter @theorgasmiclife. Follow Candice on Facebook. Follow The Orgasmic Life on Facebook. She is currently working on her first book, "From 6 to 9 and Beyond: Widening the Lens of Feminine Eroticism." Learn more here.

Comments

  1. wife spanking liberal says:

    A long time ago, I figured out that most of the women I was with wanted the same thing–to be “taken” by a man who seemed to be interested mainly in pleasing himself, and in taking his selfish pleasure, but who just happened to be doing the things that they (the women) found pleasurable–almost as if by accident.

    Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women say that they hate the “didja cum, didja? Didja? Did I do it right?” affirmation-seeking behaviour on the part of males.

    That said, what’s with the picture of the toadlike guy? He looks like the central casting “creepy perv”.

    • shame you had to end a fine post with this, That said, what’s with the picture of the toadlike guy? He looks like the central casting “creepy perv”.

      he just looks like an ordinary guy to me

      • the emboldened words are a quotation – as i had a simpleton on another post thinking the bolded words were my own

      • agree. stereotype much?

        • wife spanking liberal says:

          I stereotype on an as-needed basis. The guy in the picture, which must have been chosen by some mischievous editor seeking to undermine bdsm, is 1. baldheaded 2. devil-man-bearded, 3. smirking fatly 4. wearing nothing but black leather over buddha belly. Now look me in the eye and tell me that’s not an image filed under “stock photos of creepy perverts”.

    • The “didja come” thing is annoying because what if I didn’t? If I say no, now it’s an “issue.” If I say “yes”, I’m lying. It’s not that I want men to be selfish. I want them to be interested in my pleasure but I don’t want to feel like I must produce orgasms for them on demand. It is very very stressful and the pressure makes it impossible for me to have an orgasm. This is a major reason why I have had difficulty having orgasms in some relationships. It is why some women start faking them. Because they are stressed out, can’t get there, but feel that they have to have an orgasm to please their man. Also, I want to give pleasure as well as receive. It should be a give and take. I don’t want sex to be all about me. It’s about the 2 of us. I want to be with a man who is interested in his own pleasure as well as mine so that I can feel free to express myself without having to worry about putting on a performance for him.

  2. All BDSM is a false charade because the person submitting ultimately holds 100% of the power. /thread

    • Mr Supertypo says:

      Agree….

    • Ahh….no, not really. People think this is true in theory, but it’s not how it works in practice.

      • Ahhh… you show me a courtroom where an acceptable defense against assault or rape is “Your honor, she was my sub!”, and then you can tell me the person “dominating” has real power.

    • Sorry, but this BS about the submissive holding all the power is just that – pure BS. Subs ( especially females) are a dime a dozen but good doms are hard to find. Being a jerk isn’t being a good master and unfortunately, this article doesn’t seem to understand that distinction.

  3. Also, another thing to remember:
    It’s not the size of the banana, it’s how you feed it to the monkey.

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