Seven Years Later: Reflections on Marriage

Love, when it is real and good, is many things. Seth Dombach on seven years of wedded bliss.

Seven years ago on this date, I married the love of my life. We got married at a local lake in the gazebo on a warm and beautiful day. It was a very small wedding with just a few family and friends there. I was there early and had to fend off a few people learning how to do fly fishing right beside the spot we were to get married at. I was never a suit guy up to that point so being in a tux walking around was quite the change for me. That morning when I got up, I spent time nervous and excited.

Pretty soon the guests were there and I was waiting for my wife to pull up and come forward. It (other than the birth of my daughter) was one of the most surreal moments of my life. It felt almost like an out of body experience, like I was watching the events from the outside, unable to believe it was happening to me. Before long the moment came that my soon-to-be wife pulled up and made her entrance. I will never forget watching her walk up the aisle toward me; so incredibly beautiful, and when she smiled it was hard to think of a moment that I had ever felt as happy.

The ceremony went without a hitch other than a few ducks that were quacking behind us for most of the wedding, but something stuck with me from that day. It was the vows that I spoke to my wife and how much I meant to live up to the promises I made to her on the day I placed the ring on her finger and looked into her eyes.

Now, seven years have gone by. We’ve had our ups and downs, our good times and bad, but one thing remains from that day. That is the love I have for my wife and the vow to her that I still hold special. The thing that has changed from that day is that I now love my wife even more than I did then.  Now, not only am I in love with my wife, I truly understand that I love her.

People tend to get so wrapped up in the ‘puppy love’ stage of a relationship that when it ends they become bored or look somewhere else to hold on to that feeling. Although it is a great time in any relationship, it also isn’t true love. Only after spending years with someone; do you fully appreciate them and understand that love means much more than just holding hands or making out in public. Love is much more than pet names and PDA.

Love, when it is real and good, is many things. It is being there and supporting your partner in the highs and lows. It is about the comfort of being yourself, even at your most exposed and vulnerable, and not being afraid to do so. It’s about the knowledge of having a best friend who you know will understand when others don’t. It is also still about being able to lose yourself with them in a kiss like when you first met them. It’s the in-jokes that only the two of you share and that smile and glance across a crowded room, letting them know you are still checking them out after the years have gone by. It is a fullness that can’t really be explained. When they say that ‘two have become one’ it really is a true sentiment. You may be separate individuals but you can also share a common mind and heart. Love is about fighting for the person you love even when times are tough. Love is also about sharing together as equals.

After these years have gone by, I still look forward to seeing my wife and my best friend every day. When she is gone I miss her. When she is sad, I am too. I try with all my power to give her the best and happiest life I can possibly provide her with. I have never met anyone as beautiful, smart, funny and perfect as her. Never in my wildest dreams could I ever have imagined finding someone who makes me feel the way she makes me feel. She is everything to me and I would do anything for her.

To this day, one of the most beautiful things in the world to me is simple: It is looking into her deep blue eyes when she smiles, and the way they light up and sparkle. It really is magic with this confounding ability to hold me captive underneath that gaze. To make me weak and strong all at the same moment. When I see that smile in her eyes it takes me right back to that woman that I fell in love with years ago and it makes me appreciate all the more how lucky I am to have her in my life.  She has taught me so much and made me feel loved. She has given me the greatest gift, my daughter. She has no idea how much she truly means to me because I don’t know how to write something that could capture the beauty of what she has given me.

I can’t wait to spend my life with her. To share in it together until my time on this earth has ended. I will feel lucky and proud to have been able to spend it with such an amazing woman as her.

I love you Melissa, and I always will.

 

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Image of bride and groom holding hands courtesy of Shutterstock

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About Seth Dombach

Seth Dombach, born and raised in Central PA, is a loving father and husband. He has made it a point to bring the best possible life for his family. An aspiring writer, you can find his work at his personal blog at Kloipy Speaks or his film reviews atPop Culture Ninja.

Comments

  1. So beautifully written… This is precisely the kind of love that I’m waiting to experience & you both are truly blessed to have found each other

  2. Thank you for the comment. I truly feel lucky to have such a wonderful woman to share my life with. Like I said, love isn’t always perfect or easy, but it is well worth it when you are willing to put the work in. Thank you again for reading and for the comment

  3. “Being there and supporting each other through the highs and lows…”

    Beautifully said!

    I would add:

    Love is listening to your wife even though life is stressing you out (i.e.., work, aging parents, crazy siblings)…and really trying to ask her how she is when she says “fine” (because sometimes she really isn’t)….

    Love is spending time with your wife and children and making them your priority….and not running off to the bar every Thursday and Friday night to hang with a drinking buddy…Don’t let negative people into your life…or at least, limit your contact with them…

  4. This is what I’ve always wanted. You wrote exactly what I’ve been wanting for a long time: the one person who I would be willing to live my life with through anything that comes out way, to express such love is something I want to feel.

  5. Matthew, I hope you are able to have that someday. It seems to happen when you least expect it. thanks for reading and for the comment

  6. Sounds like a rare harmony. If more couples had such devotion and compassion, perhaps divorce rates wouldn’t be as high.

  7. Beautiful, thoughts like this leave me hopeful

  8. I too, have a love like this, and cannot help but wish every person alive could have it as well. Our world would be a better place with the strength, confidence, and peace that it provides. Cheers to you and your family.

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