Zach Rosenberg learned that the key to a better sex life was unlocking the spark he and his wife have always shared.
My wife has a certain “language of love” and when I can speak it, I unlock much more fulfilling love-making between us. Especially now that we’re parents—it’s important for me to feel like I’m still talking to the woman I married, and remind her that I’m still attracted to her.
Oh, sure. Sometimes, everything’s spontaneous…we’ll both be changing into our pajamas and all of the sudden we’re under the covers. But usually, our passion comes from us talking to each other—not just in words, but in how we fulfill each others’ needs, intimately speaking. Over the course of our marriage, I’ve become an expert at speaking my wife’s language of love.
And then, WHAM! Durex sent us a box of stuff to play with, and the results of a survey they’d conducted a few months ago. And as we played with some of the stuff in the box—massage and play oil, anyone?—we found the survey results were consistent with some of the stuff I’ve learned about my wife through the years.
Durex has created these 24 “sparks” that act as tips to engage a lover, but some of them I identify as the keys to fulfilling my wife’s needs. Stuff like “don’t forego the foreplay” or “heat things up with a massage” might seem obvious, but others are more interesting, like recreating your first date, or “send a love poem the new-fashioned way.” I know nothing gets my wife in the mood more than me simply paying attention to her in a loving way. Just texting her and telling her that she’s the most special person in the world immediately gets her thinking about kissing me—and if she can’t because she’s out of the house or I’m at work, even better—she’ll want it all day and it’ll be more passionate when we see each other.
And as for Durex’s survey, 87% of women said that the hottest sex they’ve had was with someone they trusted, not a stranger. And 95% of men said that sex is more fulfilling with an emotional connection. Those are some of the languages of love for my wife and I: trust and emotional connection. After all, I’m not just banging a stranger off the internet…I’m making love to my best friend.
When you’ve got kids, it’s more difficult for spouses to remember to really speak to what makes each other tick. And Durex—they’re more than just condoms and lubes: they’re getting to the bottom of what makes couples closer. And through years of love and listening, we’re finding ways to be closer too, and that makes our sex better and better.
Want to know more about Durex’s survey and romance tips? Check out DurexUSA.com.
Written in partnership with Durex.