20 little known secrets men might just want to know.
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On a recent girl’s night out, we had fun discussing tips for men to survive us! I do think it’s fair that women should come with a color-coded dot on our four-heads to allow men to strategize, kiss or duck us more accurately.
Here are 20 little known secrets men should know about surviving women:
1.If we’re talking, you’re doing great.
It’s when we stop talking, or answer you in short clipped sentences that you’re slipping. If we use a one syllable answer: like ‘fine’, you’re not slipping, you’ve slipped!
2.Technique matters more.
3.If we’ve stopped talking all together, prepare yourself, the volcano is about to explode.
If you can recall who hit the most home runs, or the winning shot for the All-stars championships, then truly you can remember that sexy night in my red dress.
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4.We know when you’re lying, so just tell the truth.
5.Tone does matter.
I know your world can’t stop every time I call you, but when I do, answer the phone like I’m the only one you want to talk to.
6.Never use the phrases: “Just get over it.”
It isn’t a healing encouragement or act of helping us release the stress. We read it as an attempt to discount our feelings. Buck up, hear us out. Then we’ll get over it.
7.Flowers don’t cover a multitude of mistakes, but it’s a good start.
8.Recall great times together and remind us of them often.
If you can recall who hit the most home runs, or the winning shot for the All-stars championships, then truly you can remember that sexy night in my red dress.
9.Be careful about pushing us to the “I quit mode.”
Most women will hang in there for the fight. We’ll stick and stay—for a while. Once we’ve reached the “It’s not worth all this” stage, it’s nearly impossible to get us back over the fence.
10.We love hot bodies
…to look at, to rub oil on, but what we’d rather have is: eye contact, reach for our hand, really listen. Do what you say you’re going to do.
11.Don’t promise things and then forget to follow through.
We’re like little kids, we can’t stop thinking about ‘it’ until it happens, so either make it happen or don’t promise.
12.Never start a sentence with ‘my mom use to…’
Be assured if you use this sentence, you won’t be blessed with the goods momma can’t give.
13.Don’t make ‘we’ decisions without us in the discussion.
If it affects me, I get a say.
14.Our dates don’t have to be elaborate, but we do want to know you spent time thinking about something WE like.
We’ll hang for your Super Bowls, your Bass Tournaments, and your work parties, if you remember to plan a trip with us to an event we might love. You don’t have to scrapbook with us, but maybe surprise us with a gift certificate to spend there.
15.We’re watching how you respond to difficult people, relatives, our friends, and your family.
If you’re impatient with them or are disrespectful to those you should love, how will you treat us?
16. Belch with the guys, but manners matter.
We don’t mind if you want to scratch, and wear your sloppys…as long as you save it for the man-cave and do know how to step it up for a formal dinner.
Polish the gem of love and respect, in us and you’ll earn a love as solid as a diamond and a warrior that will stand in the gap for you and with you all the days of your life.
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17.Think Team.
Don’t bench me.
18.If you think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe go ask your neighbor how he keeps it so green.
You might learn a trick or two.
19.Work is important—a necessary evil.
Find a way to make me feel like I land on the top of the priority list.
20.Letting my hair down in front of you is a flirt move, you’ve gotten a green light.
Ignore these signs and realize women talk—we share: the good, the bad and the ugly. And we can rally together boots on the ground in under 30 seconds.
Polish the gem of love and respect, in us and you’ll earn a love as solid as a diamond and a warrior that will stand in the gap for you and with you all the days of your life.
Previously published by the Huffington Post.
Photo: Pam Vincent
I agree, I think this is quite accurate. Ive seen men getting dumped for not following through on some of those key factors .
Meh.
Be open and honest and I’ll be the same. Your threats of a temper tantrum because of your gender is an over played stereotype and I will have no part in it. You will act like a mature adult if you want to be treated like a mature adult.
What a dismal view of affairs. I would have thought that in 2016, the level of passivity displayed by the sentiments of this opinion piece would be more a thing of the past. We need to get over the view that things are being done to us, usually by men, and take a more active role in the dynamic of social interaction. If there is one thing that stains our gender the most, it’s our view that life happens to us and that the best we can do is to list a list of wishes about how to improve how… Read more »
I agree with most of this article but it also works both ways. Women, if you want a man who talks to you more, make sure you listen and give him space to talk. And pay attention to ways that men communicate without talking. for example he may not say a lot to you when you are feeling sick but then he’ll come home from the store with some soup and say, “I thought you might like this” or maybe when you are stressed at work he’ll surprise you by getting the oil changed in your car without you asking.… Read more »
Preach it Becca! 🙂
It will probably get me in trouble because that’s what my mom would tell her grand children. If you love someone, you do this to make their lives easier. You don’t want them to work hard or be stressed or get hurt.
good point
Very stealthy, Pamela. You gals are getting slyer every day, putting the “honey do” list of personal desires in the form of a confession.
Let me betray us guys here for a minute. Promise not to tell anyone or I’ll lose my man card for sure.
You know what we really dislike? Lists…
Yup.
“You Aren’t Owed Anything.” – Dr. NerdLove
All 20 points in the article are correct, from a female perspective.
Agreed!
“Recall great times together and remind us of them often”
Women need to apply that to themselves instead of reminding men about their mistakes and bad times whether they were real or imaginary.
Women need to apply Rules 9,11, 13, 17, 18, and 19 to themselves.
“If we’re talking, you’re doing great.”
Not always true. A lot of time when women are talking it is about men not doing great at all.
Women don’t alway know that men are lying because if that was true, all the male criminals would have been caught a long time ago by female police officers and the majority of police detectives would be women not men.
“Recall great times together and remind us of them often.”
Wome should apply that rule to them and stopped reminding men of all the bad times whether real or imagery.
Women need to apply Rules 9, 11, 13, 17, 18, 19 to themselves.
Women Are Sex Machines Open the nightstand drawer of almost every woman; what will you find? A vibrator. It’s not for mixing concrete. If she just wants to be held and cuddled, while all he wants is sex, why does she own a vibrator? You figure it out. Listen to stories about raunchy bachelorette parties, replete with sex toys, sex games, and one-night stands. It sounds so romantic, doesn’t it? Ask women the main reason they cheat on their boyfriends and husbands: better sex. That’s right. Better sex. Women can’t get enough of it — but they won’t readily admit… Read more »
Yes. Quite a few of us do love sex. As someone with a high libido, I’m usually fairly up front about it early in the relationship, which they say they love and can match. In practice, I’ve found that having a drive higher than the man I’m dating causes enormous problems. Things that get “punished” for (with distance, silence or a generally pouty stubborn demeanor): initiating sex when he’s not interested, initiating sex more often than he would, wanting a wider range of sexual expression on the menu than he came to the relationship with, having a satisfying sexual history… Read more »
That reminds me of a TV talk show I saw. The poor guy was dating a nymphomaniac. She literally wanted sexual intercourse 6 or 7 times a day. She didn’t care whether he could perform. She wanted him to try. I felt sorry for the guy.. You could tell he wasn’t enjoying it after a while. It became a job. Surprised his stuff still worked after a couple months of that.
erienaiad,
Yep! Your response is dead-on! Especially the last sentence! You gotta take care of yourself in this present world!
That’s because you ladies can. Just try and be a guy who likes porn and see how much crap you get.
I keep going back to this. Maybe I should see a therapist. It’s been driven into me since forever that guys (and me in particular) should minimize our sexuality as much as possible. I’ve failed spectacularly, in ways that have truly hurt, any time I’ve ever revealed that I’m anything other than completely asexual. I lost every female friend I ever had when they discovered that I wasn’t gay, or completely asexual. Even if I wasn’t directing any physical interest at them. It’s something I, and many of my friends, have never been allowed to express. In a greater social… Read more »
Anthony
” Maybe I should see a therapist”.
I am surprised you have not done so already. Or maybe you should try living abroad for some time in an other culture. Or do both.
By “one of them”, I’m referring to a particular subset of an in-between generation of men who are completely damaged. Thanks to a litany of epic failure, and constant berating for any attempts to express it, we have no idea about our sexuality, no experience of it, and are uncomfortable with the concept of it. I’m not alone. I seem to have gravitated towards a group of friends who are all like this. If I hadn’t met a couple of women who pushed hard to get me to believe that it was ok to “take them in a manly fashion”,… Read more »
Hi Erienaiad
I am a woman but have no idea what you mean when you say you have a high libido.
Since I do not know what is average.
Do you mean you want to have sex three times a day, or once a day …
Since the men you meet do not want sex as often as you do then I wonder of often do you want and need sex?
I always had what I considered a high libido for a woman (menopause has done a number on it, but that’s another story). I thought about sex a lot, masturbated daily (or more than daily!) from when I was about 17 to sometime in my mid 30’s. When I was in relationships I wanted sex every day unless I was having my period (I had heavy periods and horrible cramps, and hated “period sex” – too yucky). That was really the only argument I ever had over sexual frequency. Sometimes during the non-period part of the month I’d be tired… Read more »
Erienaida and Becca
If you have time. Take a look at this video about women and their desire.
I wonder if women are more different then we can imagine!
And if most women ( or let’s say most American women) need 40-45 minutes of good love making to reach an orgasm ,then maybe the men that refuse women that want sex often find it is too much of job to do that several times a day.
Maybe I misunderstand the sex therapist here.
Does a woman that describe herself as high libido need 40-45 minutes. I wonder.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AibaNJHLXGM&list=PL7yBnpAg9pJRvtR4_PS2KBKuAikdw9TgI&index=4&nohtml5=False&nohtml5=False#t=10.754
I think this varies from woman to woman.
If she is already super horny and wet, she will not need 45 mins. Perhaps no foreplay at all and orgasm in 10 mins or less. If you have to get her in the mood (largely mental), then it is going to take more time.
So, it depends…. It depends on the woman, time, circumstance, context, the man in question, etc. Lots of variables. But, it is something that is unique to each woman.
Jules, I think you are right.
But I like these videos.
A little sex education does not harm any of us .
Erienaiad,
Try being a man with a higher libido than the woman you are currently dating. I’d bet you’ll experience much of the same issues that you are seeing now.
The issue of it becoming a competition of “lesser love” might not be as gendered as you think it is.
erienaiad-
Kudos, well said and a great way to live a fulfilling life. It seems to me we are all assuming that the need for sex or orgasm HAS to be with another person. Friends, including friends with which you can be close to physically but platonically…just being affectionate to one another, fill most of the companionship and emotional connection needs we have. I believe someone can be really happy and fulfilled with a good social life/friends he/she is really connected to, and the abilty to please his/herself sexually.
” if she just wants to be held and cuddled while all he wants is sex,why does she own a vibrator?”
Mike you have no understanding of women .
NONE!
Stop eating like a pig and go to the gym huh? Wow….maybe if he’d actually have a job and help with the kids she wouldn’t be so stressed out and might have some time to go to the flippin gym….