Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman’s toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace. ~~ Marianne Williamson
If that’s true, imagine what a great fuck would do.
I (want to) believe in love, and I definitely believe in great fucking. Unfortunately it seems there isn’t nearly enough of either in the world. I have this vision in my mind where men and women from every creed and color are gathered together on a hilltop, like in that commercial from the early seventies, except, instead of teaching the world to sing and buying them a Coke, they pair up, disappear, and go buck their frains out, in perfect harmony…
Before I continue, let me make this clear: I have no desire to contribute to the pool of pick-up artists. If you use sex as a weapon, if you’re trying to rack up numbers as a way of proving your attractiveness to yourself, if you use sex as a substitute for genuine affection, if you’re using sex to boost your ego at the expense of someone else’s feelings, these are not the droids you’re looking for; move along…
That said, if you want to have the kind of spine-tingling, goose bump-raising, electrifying, all is right with the world kind of sex, that makes you skip for no reason, not care if your boss yells at you, or if your car payment is late, there may be something here of interest to you.
♦◊♦
I am an advocate for sex, and all things sensual, and intimate. This includes kissing, cuddling, foreplay, making out, making love, screwing, fucking, after-play, and everything in-between. But not just sex; great sex: the kind that curls your toes, makes you clutch the sheets, scream until you’re hoarse, leaves you cramped, dehydrated, thoughtless, breathless, not knowing where you are, who you are, speaking esperanto, throbbing with ache, and with a sex hangover that lasts for days.
Maybe I’m spoiled, but that’s what I’ve come to expect of my sex life, and I deem anything less than that, insufficient.
There are myriad challenges, some not insignificant, which account for this kind of sex being the exception, and not the rule. Not being in a relationship, emotional or sexual incompatibility, the stresses of daily life, time constraints from child rearing; the list is endless, and some of these things aren’t easily overcome. However these are obstacles worth surmounting, for one inarguable reason: great sex reinforces love.
During orgasm, your brain releases the chemicals oxytocin, vasopressin, and other endorphins; naturally occurring opiates which bond a memory to a sensation. They’re the same chemicals released when a mother nurses; it foments trust and strengthens the emotional bond between lovers.
Have no illusions: the best sex in the world will not fix a broken relationship, nor is it reason enough to become romantically involved. Sexual chemistry is a powerful thing, so it’s important to at least try to only form those kinds of bonds with someone you genuinely care for. Great sex is to a relationship as oxygen is to air, in that it is a necessary, but not dominant component. Prolonged exposure to pure oxygen causes brain damage, but deprive the body of oxygen for even a few minutes and you’d expire. Similarly, a relationship comprised of nothing but sex is ultimately toxic, but without it, relationships lose their fire and begin to die.
Screw world peace; is there a more compelling reason to become an amazing lover?
Originally posted at www.jackfrombkln.com.
Photo by fuzzysaurus/Flickr.
About Jackie Summers
Totally agree. I think one of the worst things a person could do in a relationship is withhold sex. That is a horrible thing to do to 1) yourself, and 2) your partner. Sex is highly important to a relationship, it helps keep that bond going strong. It is most definitely worth it to keep it interesting and frequent. I refuse to have a sexless relationship. As such, my boyfriend and I are starting to collect cookie jars to put things like condoms, lube, and suggestions in. So far we have one very tacky one that will become our suggestion cookie jar. When we get bored of doing the same thing over and over, we can pull a suggestion out of the jar and poof, something new, didn’t have to bother to think about it and kill the mood. That will help keep things new and interesting.
I’d say that couples who want to continue down a domestic path (kids, dogs, soccer etc) need to plan their living space carefully. Get a house with a basement or attic or master suite that’s separated from the rest of the house. Make sure the tub is big enough for two. Get a mini fridge for your treats and drinks. Make sure you each have time for alone stuff to recharge You have to actually plan ahead after you have kids, and never underestimate the “touch” exhaustion that mothers of smaller children get.
Reconciling the domestic and erotic is difficult Women long for that passion and lust too, not just men. It needs to be communicated, and spaces and places designed with passion and pleasure in mind.
Exactly. Having a space that its only purpose is for pleasure and relaxation is important. I am a strong supporter of not having a TV in the bedroom. I think it’s also important to establish separate spaces for each parent to have alone time. I fully intend on building a room that’s all my own, and having a similar room built for my future husband. Having that alone space will allow people some room to decompress or cool down, or just give themselves some needed “me” time. Once people have had some room, they usually want to reconnect and they do so in a much better state of mind.
This is absolutely true and spot on. My wife and I have had this discovery recently, that we need to understand what it takes to create an atmosphere conducive to feeling sexy and having sex. Our basement has become a re-creation of our early days together, akin to a dorm room or college apartment. Mismatched furniture and area rugs, an old TV, and yes, a futon. It’s our escape when we want to really let go, like if we’ve had a few drinks and know we might get carried away, too much to use the bedroom which is bracketed by both kids rooms. At least we have a lock on the door. Best home diy project I ever did.
That analogy in the last paragraph is pure genius and truth!