From this lovely post about one of the odder trends from the Decade Aesthetics Forgot. I think this ad speaks volumes about weird images of masculinity. I mean, also it’s kind of hilarious, but bear with me.
The overwritten horniness of the copy absolutely blows my mind. Advertising companies get informed of trends and proceed to turn them into cartoons, so today we’ve got advertisements addressing this “crisis of masculinity” trend they’ve heard about by doing hyper-masculinized ads for ridiculous manbranded products. In the 70s, clearly, they’d been informed there was this Sexual Revolution thing going on, and therefore phrases like “the ultimate fashion climax” made sense now, instead of being stupid.
There’s also the presentation of the model, who as far as we can tell consists entirely of sunglasses and hair. For a guy selling a sexy, revealing outfit, he’s showing less actual skin area than a Carmelite nun. Though, to be fair, relatively few nuns have large beards. Some of the other jumpsuit ads in the linked post are more revealing, but the ad is still selling Mr. Sexy Jumpsuit here in a curiously contradictory way.
The presumed reader of the ad is, they could not make more explicit, a heterosexual man. The copy says that wearing this jumpsuit will result, more or less automatically, in women climbing all over you like a hairy jungle gym. But what we see in the ad is a guy who’s almost completely covered up. We can’t even see his eyes. There is no hint of vulnerability at any point. I’ve talked before about the urge to find a way of approaching or attracting women without becoming vulnerable. (Of course, I’ve also talked about how male vulnerability is a massively popular fantasy among women, but let’s not get too sidetracked.) What this ad is trying to sell, essentially, is a suit that makes you attractive without ever making you even slightly vulnerable.
The presentation of female sexuality in the copy is intriguing as well. It talks endlessly about how women will be unable to resist your hirsute charms in this contraption, but there’s this one amazingly telling sentence. “Designed with your desires in mind… she’ll eat you alive in it.” (Ellipsis in original.) Even in an ad that’s trying to be all about male desirability, they can’t quite make themselves believe it. They can’t violate the two rules of desire unless they somehow define female desire as a SUBSET of male desire. It’s okay for her to want you if that’s what YOU want. She is allowed to fulfill your fantasy of being wanted. Like all the best creepy implications, I’m pretty sure they don’t know they’re doing it.
Lastly, and fucking typically, there are TWO blatant penis-size references in here. “Fits so tight it shows all you’ve got” and “Are you man enough to fill it?” They are LITERALLY SAYING that if you don’t buy this fuck-ugly jumpsuit, you’ve got a little dick. You know, ads like this are why Mad Men is all about how everyone in advertising kind of wants to kill themselves.
Oh, and this almost feels redundant considering we’re talking about a fashion ad, but jumpsuits look fucking AWFUL on fat guys, so thanks for that too.
About Noah Brand
“Oh, and this almost feels redundant considering we’re talking about a fashion ad, but jumpsuits look fucking AWFUL on fat guys, so thanks for that too.”
Sigh…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esqi4air1K4&feature=related
Let’s be fair.
Jumpsuits look awful on everybody.
(No, really. Even on Star Trek, they had to put everyone in these foam muscle suits under the uniforms so they wouldn’t look ridiculous.)
What about speed suits?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-XZd5YN6lI
Hold on a moment… It says “long sleeved in rust, blue or black.” That dude is clearly wearing a white (okay, maybe gray) jumpsuit. WTF, Fifth Season?
You know monkey when I look at the suit for some reason I see bits of blue throughout it. Look at his right hand side of the suit. It seems like the suit could be blue but the lighting for that photo shoot wasn’t that good or it could just be age (if this image was from an old catalog and recently scanned).
“Designed with your desires in mind… she’ll eat you alive in it.”
I saw this as two completely separate statements. The first one allowing the man to remain hyper – masculine and invulnerable. While the second one indicating that the product will allow for male attractiveness. Essentially it says that he can be attractive without worrying about possible rejection since the “armour” of masculinity will protect him. The ad was promising the best of both worlds which is essentially what advertising is all about.
A jumpsuit Parisian nightsuit will totally make you a superstud!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fSWKfzcXa8
I saw this as two completely separate statements. The first one allowing the man to remain hyper – masculine and invulnerable. While the second one indicating that the product will allow for male attractiveness.
Interesting point. As you say, it works out about the same, attractiveness without vulnerability, but that is a different reading. I hadn’t considered the two statements as separate, but I can see how one could. Ellipses are tricky little buggers that way.
Also – did anyone else notice that the guy is leaning on a giant wooden pole?
My favorite line from the ad…
“Sexy cool crinkle cloth…” what in the fuck is crinkle cloth? It’s 50% polyester it’s not meant to wrinkle (or provide ventilation) ever. But you know it’s ‘sexy’, so whatevs.
“quick as a flick of her tongue” “she’ll eat you alive” – because everyone knows men prefer blowjobs?
Hey, now. A lot of ice-skaters wear jumpsuits and I got a thing for ice skaters. I love jumpsuits, tight and baggy both.
In fact, this suit isn’t completely without potential. I’d put a little more flair in those cuffs, or take them off entirely (Elvis knew how to do it. Thanks for the example, monkey.) I’m not digging the odd transition from Boogie King to business casual. I think crinkle cloth has its uses, but none of them is playing host to ring-slider zippers, and a full body suit is too much of a sort-of-tolerable thing. I like the wooden stripper pole, but it begs for a flannel top and some high cut jean-shorts, and your ad shouldn’t make me think of outfits better designed than yours is. I’d give it a five out of ten, but I have to deduct a point because evidently people exist who think it should come in rust. 4/10
But slip that man in some roller skates, throw a little glitter on it, put on a little Fifth of Beethoven… If a nice, low, flambouyant twirl happens then I think the top button of my shirt could accidently come undone. I’m also cool enough with the mane and the shades- But no smile!? That’s what kills it for me. The guy looks like he just got back from the bathroom to find the mirror completely cleaned off, and me with a lot of white powder on my upper lip.
I dunno. Jumpsuits ‘show all you’ve got.’ Maybe the whole thing is made up as an overdone counterweight to the fact that the wearer had decided to be vulnerable in that respect. “Don’t worry! You’re still going to look tough!” It’s hard to make it jive with all the swingin’ single jargon though. It’s difficult to picture a guy shyly asking “Do I really look okay in this?” when his next line is “I mean, I appreciate that it’s on and off as quick as a flick of her tongue, but will she eat me alive in it?”
Mayfly: holy crap, it’s Joel!
I hope this ad copy was tailored to run in Penthouse, not GQ or Newsweek.
Oh, and there’s another guy who can pull off a jumpsuit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvmw8uq3JV4
to modern eyes, he may appear as a “bear” or a hipster dressing ironically….
The outfit does give him a powerful V shape….
The ad seems to be showing the outfit and he is the accessory so to speak….
I don’t know who their target demographic was but it makes me think of nascar drivers or fighter pilots with flight suits….
… or Bee Gees fans.
“Oh, and this almost feels redundant considering we’re talking about a fashion ad, but jumpsuits look fucking AWFUL on fat guys, so thanks for that too.”
Thanks for the tip, Noah. Since you’re apparently an authority on what fat guys are allowed to wear despite not being one yourself, any other hints? I’ve got a party to go to on Saturday and I thought maybe you and your body policing could help me out.
…Uh, Noah is overweight… o.o
@Hugh: You misread me; sorry for not being clearer. The point I was making is that, among the other aesthetic crimes of the jumpsuit under discussion, it’s an outfit that can only be worn by very trim guys. They’re exceptionally unflattering on bigger guys like myself, which is another level of offensiveness in this ad, from my perspective. That’s what the “thanks for that too” was referring to.