Ryan and Kevin loved the crazy lawyer bros so much, they came back for seconds.
Ryan O’Hanlon: So, Kevin, I hear you have some special news for us.
Kevin Lincoln: Oh do I ever. Franklin and Bash started following me on Twitter. They go by @FrankandBashTNT. It was a really big moment for me.
Ryan: Does that mean Franklin, Bash, and everyone at TNT is following you? Who actually does the tweeting at F&B headquarters? Either way, we should just pretend it’s our favorite late-night rogue lawyering couple. That’s cooler, I think.
Kevin: I’m assuming it’s the rogue lawyers. Men tweet, and Franklin and Bash are nothing if not men. Also, is it typical for TV shows to have their own Twitters? Like most, I only follow people who are either exactly like me or exactly like who I want to be in ten years.
Kevin: I’m pretty impressed that they’ve got 6500+ followers, though. Do that many people even watch the show? ZING.
Ryan: Ouch, you got them good! Any show that doesn’t have a Twitter probably got canceled soon after the pilot. Get with the times, Hollywood. Speaking of technology, yet another episode begins with the bros playing video games in the midst of a party at their crib. Is this harmless virtual fun or a commentary on men and maturity?
Kevin: Well, video games are the universal symbol for men who are actually boys, despite Tom Bissell’s best efforts. I’m interested in the fact that these parties seem to be perpetual and untethered to any sort of cause or reason.
Kevin: “God forbid you’d cheat on a balloon.” Early candidate for line of the episode.
Ryan: The weirdest part about the parties, to me, is that Beans and Franklin are always kind of outside of the zaniness. The parties are crazy, but the two of them are always either sitting on the couch or having sex (with other people). The lawyering life is crazier than the constant partying.
Kevin: Right, as demonstrated in the courtroom scene we just witnessed, where they both hit on the prosecuting attorney and discover that they know very little about the case they’ve actually taken. Little lapse in realism there, but we’ll take it. It’s true, though: the pratfalls seem to be contained to their legal activities throughout the show. The extracurricular activities? Pretty vanilla in comparison.
Ryan: And this case they’ve taken is more of a charity deal in which they’re helping out a hedge fun dude who blew his money and now lives with his grandma. He asks the guys if they can take the case for free, or, rather, “Bro Bono.” Is that not the most obviously beautiful line for a buddy lawyer comedy you’ve ever heard?
Kevin: That should be the title. Like, no joke.
Kevin: This is kind of a bizarre twist. It’s hard to keep tabs on the moral compass of the show itself. One moment, F&B are the judged; the next, they seem to be the charitable guys. It does keep things active.
Ryan: That seems to be the structure here. In the first 20 minutes, every conceivable plotline and then five more are thrown at you. You kind of lose yourself and then their assistant hits on a 75-year-old woman over a webcam in front of a full conference room and, just like that, you remember why you’re watching.
Kevin: Pintar is a curveball, that’s for sure. I think his name is Pintar? But yeah, this episode is frenetic. It’s as unpredictable as the NBA playoffs. NOW I SEE THE HOOK HERE.
Ryan: Brilliant! (Remember those commercials?) So, Franklin is Shawn Marion, Bash is Dirk, and Pintar (?) is Zhi-Zhi Wang. Who am I missing?
Kevin: The old guy (who I think is Malcolm McDowell?! HORRORSHOW DROOGS) is Mark Cuban. Serious lawyer dude is Rick Carlisle.
Kevin: Also, can we talk about the fact that both of the sides in this divorce case are hooking up with the same woman? Both a commentary on the state of contemporary relationships and an opportunity to show a kiss between two attractive women.
Kevin: OH MAN LOOK BEERS ON THE TABLE THIS IS GONNA BE THE EPISODE WHERE THEY SHOTGUN IN THE COURTROOM
Kevin: Sorry, I’ll calm down.
Ryan: No, I love the passion. Never change.
Ryan: Did it really take us four episodes for our first lady-lady kissy-kissy? So, there’s a bisexual lawyer hooking up with her client and her client’s husband (who is on the other side of the aisle). And now there’s a grandma who seems to still be in touch with her kinky side. Sex is good, basically, is the message I’m getting.
Kevin: Or if you have sex, you’re also a liar, and a fraud, and immersed in twisted and sticky webs of deceit.
Kevin: I’ll admit it, though, I actually legitimately laughed at Pintar’s scream from the cell phone. It was spontaneous, and this show doesn’t have much spontaneity.
Ryan: For all the random shit that happens, that’s still completely true. Even when their assistant karate-kicked a Heineken bottle off of Pintar’s head, I was more shocked by their choice of beer than anything. Which makes me wonder, why hasn’t some beer company flung some cash at the show to get their names on all the hops and suds these fellas crush?
Kevin: You, my friend, should be in advertising.
Kevin: So, the Margarita Monday con is on. I’m sort of impressed how aggressively at odds every subplot in this show is.
Ryan: Yeah it’s simultaneously amazing and impossible that the different cases and stories don’t get tangled up. They just weave in and out with each other without causing any problems.
Ryan: Is talking to another dude about not being able to get an erection the least bro or the most bro thing you can do? There is no in between. This is the Ohio of boner questions.
Kevin: F&B just became a Levitra commercial. Like, music and everything. I’m surprised they didn’t jump into a bathtub together.
Ryan: Another advertising opportunity missed!
Kevin: Now now, this isn’t replacing the NFL, it’s replacing the NBA. But your point is legitimate.
Ryan: (Knocks on wood [get it?]) Let’s hope we don’t need an F&B-type NFL replacement. It’s looking like we might not, but how terrible would your life be if the NFL didn’t come back? You wouldn’t be able to treat the Meadowlands parking lot like a courtroom and shotgun beers!
Kevin: A year without Rex Ryan would be a year without happiness. I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to the Jets annually disappointing me. And that … is … painfully true. Real justice takes place in the Meadowlands parking lot.
Ryan: Wait, are Bashy and Frankie re-writing DUI laws? Apparently the key to not driving drunk, but still getting drunk, is to chug as much alcohol as possible and then drive to wherever you need to get, as fast as you can, before the intoxication catches you.
Kevin: You’re not even kidding. We need to get this episode put before the Supreme Court ASAP. Also, that little interlude with Franklin and the other lawyer… I’m still not really getting what the source of the F&B bros’ irresistible sexuality is. It’s like Kramer’s kavorka in Seinfeld.
Ryan: Sort of like how not everyone gets U.S. soccer? Segue! Freddy Adu played a game today and he made a nice pass! And he dribbled, too! He’s only 22. I’m also pretty sure Benjamin Button was a movie about him.
Kevin: The curious case of Freddy Adu? That actually sounds pretty good. But no, 22’s washed up for sure. Just ask Derrick Rose. Or Kevin Durant.
Ryan: Those guys stink. Their careers are over. No one will remember either of them after the draft.
Kevin: KYRIE IRVING IS LIKE A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS. But in a good way. Go Duke!
Ryan: Ugh, Dook. One of your biggest faults. That Duke degree must be some hell of a cross to bear, huh?
Kevin: Terribly. And, to wrap up F&B for the week: that was quite the ending. Rampant misogyny in the workplace (women are there to be sexed! men exist to sex them!) and Franklin vomming in the elevator. What did we learn this week, Ryan?
Ryan: Men rule. Women drool. If you shotgun beers and give pounds to jurors, you win. And sometimes, puking in an elevator is the best thing you can do.
Ryan: You know what, put that on a poster!
Kevin: POSTERIZED. Franklin & Bash–style.
Ryan: Don’t you mean, Bro-sterized?
Kevin: Don’t I ever.
Ryan O’Hanlon is the sports editor for the Good Men Project. He used to play soccer and go to college. He’s still trying to get over it. You can follow him on Twitter @rwohan.
Kevin Lincoln is a staff writer for the Good Men Project; you can follow him on Twitter and Tumblr. He likes hip-hop, postmodernists, and good writing about sports.
—Photo TNT/Annette Brown