How Peter Ross got over his presumptions about the gym, and made one of the best decisions of his life.
I love the gym. I first started lifting weights a few years ago in order to improve my competition judo. I saw it as merely a means to an end—I wasn’t going to be one of “those guys”: I had a clear purpose in setting foot in the gym. It wasn’t long, though, before I found a love of lifting iron for its own sake. If I wasn’t still practicing judo, I’d probably be doing competitive powerlifting right now. The gym is a great place for any man to be—no matter what is going on in your life, whether your job stinks, or if you’re having relationship problems, the iron is always there as a release. Even better, when you feel like you aren’t achieving anything, when you need to just gain a bit of momentum in life and get things happening, the iron is the perfect place to start.
See, there is nothing at all subjective about lifting weights. There are no crowds to distract you, no referees to stop you and certainly no judges that can screw you over for any reason. When you step up to any exercise it is just you and the weights. If you can’t lift it, you can’t lift it. The failure is yours and the fault of no one else; you just need to train harder. When you break a personal record it is no different—the achievement is yours and yours alone. Lifting also improves your mental strength along with your physical strength; when you have double your bodyweight on your shoulders and have to squat with perfect form or risk serious injury you need tremendous mental strength.
I was recently having a chat with a work colleague about going to the gym when he said something that really bugged me. After giving the caveat that trying to get really strong was okay, he made it clear that he thought of any other bloke in the gym as something of a preening narcissist. The sad thing is, I have seen this kind of behaviour on many online forums from men and women alike. Even in person, when it comes to the topic of gyms no one seems to be shy about throwing their negative feelings out there. I had similar opinions, once upon a time. What I find most pathetic about it is not the ignorant opinion, but the fact that these people admit they’d go to the gym “if there weren’t so many tossers there.”
I’m going to call everyone with these sorts of opinions out right now: you’re either jealous or just woefully insecure if you will not set foot in a gym because you think everyone inside is some kind of “Jersey Shore” type that constantly poses in the mirror. Being in the army I’ve had to travel a fair bit, and have been to my share of different gyms—military gyms, health club type gyms and small Spartan, dungeon like gyms. The number of “Jersey Shore” types I have seen in all of these gyms combined is so minimal as to be almost non-existent. Believe it or not, most gyms are frequented by regular, everyday people. Some do weights (and usually poorly), some do cardio, some do both. If you’re scared of going to a gym because there will be an army of buff guys waiting to make you look bad, don’t worry: you’ll fit in just fine.
The other thing that really bugs me is this attitude that there is something wrong with training like a bodybuilder for aesthetic reasons. Seriously, what is the problem? Most men will spend money on grooming products to make themselves look good, or spend plenty of time styling their hair, but when it comes to spending time in a gym to make their body look better it’s all of a sudden labelled as narcissistic. There are also those that get all offended and complain when people grunt or make noises while they are lifting. What’s next, people complaining if you sweat? If you never need to grunt while you’re at the gym lifting weights, you’re probably not working hard enough.
I wrote this article not to complain or have a rant, but to encourage guys to get over their silly hang ups and give the iron a try. There’s nothing intimidating about your average gym, you just need to find one that’s right for you—the odds of which are good. Bodybuilding and powerlifting gyms are rare and not advertised like your typical health club, so there’s no chance of you accidentally stumbling into such places. All you need to do is respect the other people there and their reasons for working out. At the end of the day, very few people in any gym are going to care about what you do. No one is going to snicker, or point and laugh because you are only lifting a small amount of weight—we all started there. You might even be surprised by how willing people are to help you out with your lifting technique or by providing a spot if you need it. Don’t let your assumptions or insecurities get in the way of something you could end up loving.
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Image of bodybuilder in training room courtesy of Shutterstock
A few steps I would reccomend for people who want to start going to the gym on a regular basis: 1 – Bring a music player of some kind. 2- Download an audio book think you might like (maybe of a book you’ve been meaning to read, it’s great if it’s the first one in a long series) 3- Listen to the book while you work out. Eventually you will find yourself in a hurry to get back to the gym to find out what happens next! I’ve been going to the gymn pretty consistently for 3 years now with… Read more »
“The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.”
–Henry Rollins
I completely concur with Peter. When I was in my late fifties, I joined a local health club and hired a personal trainer to work with me on a bodybuilding program. This is the wisest decision I’ve made in many years. Although I haven’t reached my goal yet, I’ve been amazed at the muscular development I’ve already achieved. At the age of 62! As a guy who grew up physically weak, I love the feel of strength in my body now. I can clench muscles I was never able to clench before. Bodybuilding is a great builder of self-confidence. I… Read more »
The title of this piece is excellent. Also, bodybuilding is a very expensive process. If you’re working for functional strength, the “aesthetic” portion will appear soon.
“Starting Strength” by Mark Rippetoe is the best thing to read for novice lifters who are interested in more than just paying a membership fee to do curls in the mirror.
Von, I take it you would have liked me to elaborate a bit further on this point? I guess the easiest way to describe it would be in terms of a typical strength workout. In any other sport, let’s say golf, if you have a split second of doubt or distraction it might mean you hook the ball and it ends up on another fairway. Have that split second of doubt or distraction when you’re squatting with a large amount of weight on your shoulders and it might mean you seriously injure your back. No doubt you have seen the… Read more »
Thanks for an instructive answer. Being able to concentrate totally on the physical, the body, is a high mental discipline, perhaps not achievable by everyone but a goal to strive for.
“Lifting also improves your mental strength along with your physical strength; when you have double your bodyweight on your shoulders and have to squat with perfect form or risk serious injury you need tremendous mental strength.” Sorry Peter, but I kind of get the feeling you’re fluffing off this part. I have been told it’s part of our military’s culture not to focus very hard on what is inside people’s heads, so I kind of understand if you don’t see the point (and I apologize if that is not how you feel). But at the same time, the inner struggle… Read more »
I don’t think there is problem with going to the gym, or being healthy. I personally find it to be relaxing, stress relieving at times. At other times, however, I find the task of going to the gym, as one more chore in a daunting list of tasks. So I agree with what your saying, if going to the gym is helpful for you I say go for it, if however, reading a novel, helps you than do that instead. I also think that men, as we are being marketed to about body image, are becoming victims of Body dimorphic… Read more »