The Proper Use of Profanity

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A basic guide to the correct use of English profanity.

Ten Things Not To Say To Single Guys

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Josh Bowman compiles a list of ten things you shouldn’t say to single guys… no matter how good your intentions may be.

Douche of the Week–Cliff Harris

Way to do your school proud, bro.  Go Ducks.   I’m gonna cut straight to the heart of the matter.  University of Oregon cornerback Cliff Harris is one ignorant son of a bitch.  This Duck is fucked.  [Did ya like what I did there?  He’s a U of O Duck.  And he’s fucked.  For real.] […]

Why I hate the Broncos: Or, Tim Tebow is a douche

As I said on the radio (more than once), “I can’t wait for the day Tim Tebow gets busted in the back seat of a VW with a transvestite hooker.” Me   The opening week of the NFL finishes as it should, with the Raiders traveling to Mile High to play the Denver F’ing Broncos.  […]

Douche of the Week

This is some crazy shit… Many thanks to those that sent in nominations for our Douche of the Week feature.  There were several great nominations. but in the end, this one (to me) clearly stood out above the rest. After the winning story, I’m posting some of the other nominees.  Don’t forget to send in […]

The ‘Douchification’ of the American Man

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“I’d rather jam honey up my culo and squat on a fire ant hill than hang out with the Millionaire Matchmaker.”

Unwritten

I break tradition Sometimes my tries Are outside the lines Natasha Bedingfield *It’s called “venting” not “bitching” and it’s cheap therapy. Friday sucked.  Thursday completely blew and as a matter of fact the last month has been pretty shitty. There have been some high moments over the past two years, but let’s face it, ever […]

Complicated

You’re trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me… Avril Lavigne The original title for this blog post was, “I’m really not a douche”. I know the title may be hard for many of you to believe, but its true.  I really am a good guy.  I come off edgey at times […]

Ten Celebrity MILF’s

This is a celebration of beauty, of motherhood and of extreme hotness! Urban Dictionary.com describes a MILF as: Mothers, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physical attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them. Just cuz their moms doesn’t mean that they don’t need a spark in their […]

The Double Standard

If I didn’t mention your blog, don’t get your thong all up your ass… Any blog post that includes a disclaimer has a 50-50 shot of being good.  Either it’s total crap drivel that some lunatic is spouting, or it’s well thought out and doesn’t scare  the bejesus out of you..  Come to think of […]

Random Thoughts

Stuff that pops into my mind and keeps me from falling asleep… A couple years ago I got pulled over by the po po.  Dude comes up to my window and asks, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”  I responded with, “Because I thought it was yellow and you thought it was red?”  […]

The Pork Queen

That’s right.  In October of 1984 I lost my virginity in a cornfield. Blogs are a lot like TV.  Seriously.  You have your great blog posts, which are like the season premier and holiday episodes.  You have your average blog posts, which are like the weekly episodes of your favorite show, and then you have […]

I’ve Seen Better Days

Now if I could just find the rewind button… Tuesday ended on a high note and Wednesday started with a ton of promise.  The day ended poorly, but as you continue to read, you will find that it was mostly my fault.  Here’s the deal… Tuesday night The Phone Sex Operator (P.S.O.) came over for […]

My Facebook Status

Who knew it would be such a big deal? It was a dark and stormy night.  Actually it wasn’t, but as a writer I’ve always wanted to start a story that way.  Snoopy used to do it and he was pretty cool.  I figured if it worked for him then it could work for me.  […]

Christmas With P.S.O.

Sometimes I’m just a douche… It’s now a couple weeks into dating the Phone Sex Operator (P.S.O.) and things seem to be going well.  Her work schedule is busy at year-end and we were trying to get together on Wednesday for lunch in downtown Buffalo.  I sent her an e-mail in the morning telling her […]