Dating: Why You and Optimus Prime Should Stroke Puppies

Unfortunately, Optimus Prime remains single.

Niche dating is ‘wack

Once you’ve got a colostomy bag…     Raise your hand if you’re single and are on Facebook?  OK.  Thanks.  Now raise your hand if you’ve ever tried online dating?  Great.  One more question.  How many single people on Facebook see those bullshit ads on the right side of the page, click the ad yet [...]

Truth In Advertising

All I want is a little online street cred.  Is that too much to ask? Online dating is an imperfect science.  Heck, it may not even be a science.  The more I think about it, it’s kind of a crapshoot.  Most of us put a lot of time and effort into building a profile on [...]

The Phone Sex Operator

“Making sex is like a Chinese dinner: It ain’t over ’til you both get your cookies.” Old Man Dunphy, Outside Providence I once received a fortune cookie that read, “When you decide to stop searching, only then will you find what your heart desires.”  That sounded a little corny, yet there was a hint of [...]

The Bookstore Chick

So my daughter picks up this woman for me at Barnes and Noble… I think that its hilarious to listen to some single dads complain about their weekend with the kids.  They get all dramatic about this and that and how they were so exhausted and couldn’t wait to get the kids back to their [...]

The Period One

Yeah.  It’s exactly what you’re thinking… She will always be my first.  I don’t remember her name.  Patty seems to come to mind for some reason, but maybe it’s because she was Irish with red hair.  Her name is completely unimportant to this story, because for the last 6 years all anyone has ever called [...]