Fighting — The Good Men Project

The Importance of Pecking Orders to Boys

April 6, 2013 By Nick Clements 14 Comments

male puberty, male adolescence, pecking orders, male status, belonging, boys, rites of passage

Should parents and teachers intervene in the jockeying for status endemic among adolescent boys?

Filed Under: Featured Content, Mentoring and Volunteering, Teenage Kicks, The Good Life Tagged With: Alpha males, belonging, beta males, Boys, boys clothes, boys friendships, boys sports, Fighting, fitting in, gamma males, geeks, group membership, jocks, male adolescence, male puberty, male status, pecking orders, peer pressure, rites of passage, social skills, trends

Embracing Destruction

April 5, 2013 By Kevin Macku 7 Comments

using force, aggression, anger management, boys aggression, impulse control, ahimsa, violence, bystanders, Steubenville, sexual violence, fighting, boys fighting, confidence, taking action, men of action, masculinity, manhood, conflict, The Good Life, emotional intelligence

How do we learn to take decisive action?

Filed Under: Conflict, Emotional Intelligence, Featured Content, The Good Life Tagged With: aggression, ahimsa, Anger Management, Boys, boys aggression, boys fighting, bullying, bystanders, confidence, conflict, Dalai Lama, dating violence, defense, destruction, domestic violence, emotional intelligence, fight club, Fighting, Gun Violence, impulse control, manhood, masculinity, men of action, negative emotions, non-violence, passive behavior, passivity, sexual violence, Steubenville, taking action, The Good Life, trusting our instincts, using force, victims, violence, white knight, White Knight Syndrome

“Imagine spending your day making life and death decisions for people no one has seen and then going home and trying to fit in with ‘the real world’.”

March 30, 2013 By the Editors Leave a Comment

soliders_flickr_401st-afsb

These are comments by Lizard, Tom, and Richard Aubrey on the post “From the Office Where Soldiers Kill”.

Filed Under: Comment of the Day Tagged With: 9/11, al-qaeda, decompress, emotionla, emotions, fighter, Fighting, men, military, morality, PTSD, solider, suicide, trauma, War, women

From the Office Where Soldiers Kill

March 29, 2013 By Giovanni Barbieri 19 Comments

remotely piloted aircraft, military ethics, military technology

Does it take a special kind of courage to be a combat soldier—who pulls the trigger from an office, thousands of miles away?

Filed Under: Ethics & Values, Featured Content, Male Toughness, The Good Life, War Tagged With: Afghanistan, Bravery, civilization, Clint Eastwood, combat, combat soldiers, courage, Drones, ethics, Fighting, John Wayne, Las Vegas, manhood, masculinity, military ethics, military technology, Modern Warfare, remote control weaponry, remotely piloted aircraft, soldiers, taking risks, the Guardian, The Man in the Arena, Theodore Roosevelt, tough guys, U.S. military, War

How to Love Fearlessly

March 27, 2013 By Rebecca Butler 12 Comments

marriage, love, fighting, divorce, separation, relationships, love, families, fear of abandonment, insecurity, commitment

Do you feel secure in your relationship?

Filed Under: Advice & Confessions, Mixed and Step Families, The Good Life Tagged With: appreciation, avoiding self-sabotage, Brene Brown, Cold War, commitment, daring greatly, defensiveness, Divorce, Families, fear, fear of abandonment, Fighting, foreboding, insecurity, joy, marriage, marriage counseling, relationship sabotage, relationships, self-esteem, separation, Sex and Relationships, stepfamilies, vulnerability

How to Become a Warrior

March 25, 2013 By Russell Perkins Leave a Comment

guys who wrote the book on war, Carl von Clausewitz, Sun Tzu, warriors, military genius, leadership, sensitivity, courage, male toughness

The warrior is sensitive enough to discern truth, and has the courage to stand up for it.

Filed Under: Featured Content, Historical Perspectives on Goodness, Male Toughness, The Good Life Tagged With: aggression, battlefields, Boys, Carl von Clausewitz, charm, competition, courage, defining masculinity, experts on warfare, Fighting, General George S. Patton, General Patton, grace, guys who wrote the book on war, heroes, highly sensitive men, intelligence, leadership, macho men, male disposability, male rites of passage, male role models, male sensitivity, male success, male toughness, male warriors, manhood, masculinity, military genius, nobility, objectification of men, physical culture, samurai, self-control, sensitivity, soldiers, stoicism, strength, Sun Tzu, superheroes, tough guys, traditional gender roles, war philosophy, warfare literature, warriors, young men

The Ultimate Sex Game

March 24, 2013 By Laurie J. Watson, MA, LMFT, LPC 9 Comments

photo by Marina Araujo

Laurie Watson, on using game theory to solve sexual frequency differences

Filed Under: Featured Content, Sex & Relationships Tagged With: couples, deadlock, Fighting, game theory, happiness, High sexual desire, low sexual desire, marriage, sex, Sex and Relationships, Sexual Frequency Differences, team, Vote Black

Guess Who Created Your Little Bully?

March 16, 2013 By Kenny Bodanis 5 Comments

Lisa Dixon-Wells, bullying prevention expert, on bullying behavior: how it starts, where it leads, how to stop it.

Filed Under: Emotional Intelligence, Featured Content, The Good Life Tagged With: aggression, bully behavior, bullying, bullying expert, bullying in schools, bullying prevention, bullying profile, bullying survivors, bullying victims, children's mental health, competitive world view, cycle of violence, Dare to Care, definition bullying, domestic violence, education, entitlement, escalation, family violence, Fighting, gender roles, gender stereotypes, gossiping, harrassment, isolation, Lisa Dixon-Wells, manipulation, maternity ward, mother and father, name-calling, narcissistic children, Parenthood, parenting, parents, parents and schools, parents of bullies, personality disorders in children, power, powerlessness, schools, self-esteem, spreading rumors, teaching compassion, teaching empathy, teasing, true bullies, where bullying starts

The Invisible World of Rural Black America: Part 3

March 4, 2013 By Lola Rainey Leave a Comment

Pinehill school

Two sons of a sharecropper return to the Texas town where they grew up.

Filed Under: Featured Content, On Race, Rural Black America, The Good Life Tagged With: 4H Club, Black cemeteries, black community life, brothers, child labor, children in farm labor, children in poverty, decline of rural communities, East Texas, farming, Fighting, Future Farmers of America, growing sweet potatoes, Jim Crow South, New Summerfield Texas, old men, one room schoolhouse, picking cotton, Pinehill School, rural Texas, segregated education, segregation, sharecropper's children, sharecropping

How One Person Can Improve a Relationship

February 22, 2013 By Dr. Carol B. Low 9 Comments

senior couple gaze at the sea

Communication skills anyone can learn to put the love back into their relationship.

Filed Under: Emotional Intelligence, Featured Content, Sex & Relationships, The Good Life Tagged With: Albert Ellis, apologizing, Arguing, Brent Atkinson, cold shoulder, complaining, compliments, concern, contempt, criticism, defensiveness, emotions, empathy, Fighting, hurt feelings, improving communication in marriage, insults, John Gottman, marriage, nagging, negative emotions, relationships, secrets of happy marriages, Sex and Relationships, stonewalling, Thomas Gordon

Hyperarousal: Beyond Fight or Flight

February 20, 2013 By Justin Cascio 2 Comments

the fight begins

In a crisis, your choices are limited, but it’s not as bad as you think.

Filed Under: Emotional Intelligence, Featured Content, Health, Psych, & Addiction, The Good Life Tagged With: 9 to 5, acute stress response, adrenalin, adrenaline, amygdala, crisis, critical thinking skills, daily grind, deer in headlights, defenses, ego death, emergency, emergency response, emotional intelligence, evolutionary psychology, fight or flight, Fighting, hyperarousal, identity, karoshi, litigiousness, manhood, masculinity, mental health, overwork, problem-solving, psychology, PTSD, road rage, self defense, state of emergency, Stress, stress symptoms, submission, threats, trauma

Valentine to My Mom

February 13, 2013 By Billy Johnson II 6 Comments

Billy Johnson II and his mother

Billy Johnson II knows how hard it was to raise him, and in recognition of the woman whose fingerprints are all over the man he is today, this year he has just one valentine: his mother.

Filed Under: Featured Content, Mother's Day, The Good Life, Valentine's Day Tagged With: appreciation, boys and sports, discipline, Families, Fighting, gang violence, interracial dating, men who love their mothers, mother's love, mothers, race, Sex and Relationships, soccer moms, sons and mothers, study skills, true love, Unconditional Love, Valentine's Day

Fire in Cholon

February 11, 2013 By Tony Peluso 1 Comment

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An American soldier in Saigon receives an unexpected lesson in courage.

Filed Under: Fear & Courage, Featured Content, The Good Life, War Tagged With: 173rd Airborne, Air Force Army rivalry, An Khe, Annamese, Army, Ba Moi Ba beer, bar girls, Cholon District, cinema, civilians, courage, crisis, Culture, decorum, dignity, emergency, explosion, facing death, Fighting, fire, fire in Brazil, Gunga Din, hotel fire, John Wayne, karma, lewdness, maturity, movies, North Vietnamese Army, paratroopers, plaster saints, prostitutes, prostitution, refugees, respect, Rudyard Kipling, Saigon, sex workers, sexual shame, soldiers, South Vietnam, Vietnam, Vietnam War, vulgarity, War, young men

Unconquered

January 28, 2013 By Jeff Swain 1 Comment

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Jeff Swain defines ‘unconquered,’ with some help from his friends: William Ernest ‘Captain of My Soul’ Henley and Tom Petty.

Filed Under: Featured Content, Man on the Run, The Good Life Tagged With: amputee, death, endurance, fate, Fighting, Free Falling, gallows humor, hitting bottom, I am the captain of my soul, I am the master of my fate, indifference, injustice, losing, Meaning of Life, mental health, mortality, my head is bloody but unbowed, mythology, myths, overcoming adversity, rites of passage, running, success, Suffering, suicidal thoughts, suicide, tests, Tom Petty, tubercular poets, William Ernest Henley, winning at life

How to Deal with a Psycho Bitch from Hell

January 13, 2013 By Atalwin Pilon 102 Comments

Listening

If you can’t listen to women with a higher consciousness, what you offer society as a whole is also limited, says Atalwin Pilon.

Filed Under: Featured Content, Sex & Relationships Tagged With: awareness, being present, communication, Compassion, consciousness, crazy bitches, dating, Eckhart Tolle, empathy, Fighting, Joseph Campbell, listening, listening to women, maturity, mindfulness, perspectives, rage, relationships, selfish behavior, servant of life, The Power of Now, women, women's rage, women's rights, wounded women

Shame Is Why We Fight

January 6, 2013 By Vironika Tugaleva 29 Comments

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When a man can’t soothe his woman’s anxieties, he has failed to protect her. And in our culture of masculinity, failed men are expendable.

Filed Under: Featured Content, Men and Masculinity, Sex & Relationships, The Good Life Tagged With: abuse, aggression, anger, Anger Management, anxiety, authenticity, battering, biology, Brene Brown, communication, concern, conflict, cult of femininity, cult of masculinity, cycle of abuse, defensiveness, dignity, disposability of men, domestic abuse, domestic violence, domination, embarrassment, emotional intelligence, emotions, empathy, entitlement, evolutionary psychology, fear, female anxiety, Fighting, gender roles, hate crimes, heterosexual relationships, inadequacy, instinct, integrity, intimacy, isolation, judgment, judgmental, male ego, male entitlement, masculinity, mass shootings, misplaced blame, panic, prejudice, protectors, relationships, secrecy, secrets, security, sex, shame, shame research, silence, socialization, soothing, Steven Stosny, submission, support, suppressing anger, suppressing fear, triggers, validation, values, venting, vigilance, violence, vulnerability

Good Feed Blog

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American Minister Timothy Murphy Joins Gitmo Prisoners in Hunger Strike

More than 100 days have passed since the hunger strike at Guantanamo Bay started, and with no progress being made, an American minister has joined the strike.

peace corps, gay pride

Peace Corps to Place Same Sex Couples

Peace Corps Deputy Director Carrie Hessler-Radelet today announced that the agency will begin accepting applications from same-sex domestic partners who want to serve together as volunteers overseas.

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Makeup for Men? Why?

As makeup becomes more socially acceptable for men to wear, the benefits of it are called into question.

gabriel wheeler, oklahoma, tornado, oklahoma tornado, natural disaster, disaster, elementary school

Father and Son Reunited After Oklahoma Tornado (Video)

With at least 51 people dead from the giant tornado that ripped through Oklahoma, the Wheeler family was relieved to know that their son was alive.

oklahoma tornado

Death Toll in Oklahoma Tornado Reaches 51, Expected to Rise

The tornado was at least a half-mile wide and had winds up to 200 mph.

The Good Life

best man wedding, best man, friendships, male friendships, men, manhood, what makes a best man, goodness, good men, The Good Life, men weddings, grooms

The Best Man Money Could Buy

Ernie R writes to The Good Life of two best men: his own, and himself.

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Johnny Cash: Life, Love, and the Magic of Being Your Badass Self

Chantele Theroux on how to live and love like the Man in Black.

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Iced Tea: Fresh, Quick and All in Pictures

An easy, energy efficient way to brew tea in your kitchen.

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What Real Men Talk About

Justin Cascio talks to T Cooper, author of Real Man Adventures, about writing, crying, and being a real man.

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