You’re Projecting It Onto Us White People!

Matthew Salesses on the dilemma of how to talk about adoption without hurting loved ones.

#Ferguson Cops Want to Believe They Are Right, Not Racist

“What the cops want, on some level, is to believe their version of the world, that black people are dangerous.” By Matthew Salesses

The Fortune Cookie as Parent

In this installment of “Love, Recorded,” how do we give our children advice that is both enough and not so much that it stifles them. Look to the cookie?


In the latest installment of “Love, Recorded,” a car named Kiki gets in an accident. But what really hurts is the crash between the present and the past.

The Ways We Talk, the Ways We Listen

“My brother visits from Korea with his girlfriend, S. If they marry, I will not be the only adoptee in the family to return to Korea and marry a Korean woman.” By Matthew Salesses

The Powers That Beast: What is the Adoptee Voice Worth?

“Adoptee voices must be included in conversations about adoption. Adoptee voices must be valued.” By Matthew Salesses

A Civilized Christmas

In this installment of “Love, Recorded,” the baby falls in love, unrequited, and Matt ponders the socialization element of the holidays.

Zombie Holiday

In this installment of Matt Salesses’s “Love, Recorded:” loneliness, recorded.

A Month of Thankfulness: Adoptive Parents

Adoption is a complicated thing, but Matthew Salesses wants to be sure to thank his adoptive parents for being there when he needed them.

Halloween Is for White People

In this installment of “Love, Recorded,” Matt takes his daughter to a Halloween party and wonders: Is Halloween a White People Holiday?

Should Authors Write Characters Outside Their Race?

Should an author write characters of a different race than his own? Is that exploitation? Appropriation? Race denial? Or is it the author’s right? A conversation with Bill Cheng and Christine Lee Zilka on writing outside one’s race.

Sensory Issues

Sometimes facing your child’s issues means facing your own issues. In this installment of “Love, Recorded,” Matt Salesses breaks down over sensory problems he didn’t know he had.

25 Ways Moving Is as Stressful as Death

The “Love, Recorded” Guide to Staying Sane (and Married) While Moving, in 25 Points.

The Place Where We Were

“T. seemed to me an entirely wholesome child, as if he could never have survived public school. Perhaps that is how I set myself apart from him. Perhaps I was trying to scare him.” An excerpt from Daddy Cool.

Where Our Voices End and the System Begins, or: The Limits of What We Make Happen

What power do our voices really have? Will the American system ever be a system of equal rights?

100 Words on Love: The Power of Invisible Molecules

I taught the boy that to launch a kite, you let the wind do the work. I told him the air had a weight of its own.