Josh Bowman shares the many phases of a break-up.
Note: I’ve been dumped and been the dumper. Now I’m in a relationship, and the pain is (mostly) gone. Here is my amalgamated experience of the phases you go through after a relationship ends.
- Denial. “We can still make it work! We can still get back together!”
- Confusion. “Did that really just happen? Maybe it was a dream…”
- Anger. “You bastard! After everything I did for you! I don’t have to change for you! I don’t have to change for ANYBODY!”
- Making Generalized Statements. “Whatever, all men are assholes, who just want sex and then they move on.” “Whatever, all women are bitches, who only date assholes.”
- Excessive Self-Confidence.“I’m awesome. The best revenge is living well, and he/she is gonna feel like shit when they see my new work-out bod.”
- Revisionist History. “Actually, when I think about it, the relationship was never right in the first place. There were problems from day one, and my friends never liked them…so I actually dodged a bullet.”
- Uncharacteristic Lasciviousness. “I am gonna go out and screw everybody I meet. I’m single and ready to MINGLE!”
- Paranoia. “Ah! Is that them over there by the Folgers display? Musthidemusthidemusthide…”
- Zen. “After my whirlwind trip to Nepal, I realized that we are all merely specks of dust on an endless window, and we are all one. I feel at peace.”
- Rose-Coloured Glasses. “You know, in retrospect, things weren’t so bad. I mean, there were good times too. I wonder what he/she is up to now…”