The father Rick Belden escaped returns in unexpected ways.
I dreamed I saw him one more time
he was staying with my brother
I was visiting.
he looked so old
I could see he wasn’t feeling well
when I asked how he was doing
he told me
I want to go home
to my home
I knew he meant his little house in the north
2000 miles from here
the one where he’d lived
since he and my mom divorced.
he said
I’ll take the bus
and I said
no
let me drive you
just tell me when you’re ready
but when I wasn’t looking
he snuck out to walk to the bus station
to take that long ride home
alone.
I wanted to do something for him
I thought this might be my last chance
but he wouldn’t have it
maybe it was pride
maybe something else
but whatever the reason
he wouldn’t
and I sat sobbing silently
alone.
now my drinking cup is cracked
and the small white plate
that’s held my food every day
since I left home at nineteen
to get away from him
falls to pieces in my hands.
Copyright © 2010 by Rick Belden. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.
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—Photo credit: Orin Zebest/Flickr
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