Is Your Man Ready for a Rock?

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  1. JoAnne Dietrich says:

    Will men start taking their wives names? At least, let their wives keep their maiden names. If they expect an engagement ring, it is only fair

    • If she’s going to plunk down three months salary on an engagement ring not knowing whether he will accept her proposal or not, and if she gets down on one knee to ask him to get married, it’s only fair that she keep her maiden name – after all that.

  2. JoAnne Dietrich says:

    Eric, first of all men do not spend three months salary for an engagement ring. Let’s just say he makes 60,000. Three months salary equals 15,000. I don’t know of any man that pays that much for a ring. The woman is required to change her name. With that reasoning, if a woman buys her man a ring, he should have to change his name. There is not a man on this planet who would change his name to his wife name.

    • JoAnne, how can you possibly know what all “men” do or don’t do? You can’t. Nobody can. You’re taking about billions of people you don’t know.

      Secondly, some men spend more than 3 months salary, others less. Some save for many months or even years. Others borrow the money. It’s not always a cash deal. So, it’s entirely possible to spend 3 months salary, especially if it’s their take-home pay, not gross wage.

      Third, no woman is required to change her name. There is no law that demands that. It’s entirely optional for men and for women. Some men have changed their name.

      However, if she wanted me to take her name, it would only be reasonable for me to expect her to be the one to spend thousands on a the object of my choice (e.g., a 72 inch LED HDTV) first, and then and get down on one knee and ask me to marry her. That is only fair and reasonable.

  3. What’s all this talk about “LETTING her keep her maiden name”??? If/when I decide to marry I am keeping my last name. It is my GIVEN NAME, why should I have to change it? (Don’t go in the kids direction, I don’t want them.)

  4. Eric…I don’t think women place a monetary value on the changing of their last name like you’re implying. “Oooh, he bought me a shiny, sure I’ll marry him and take his name!” They change it out of tradition. A stupid tradition in my opinion, but a tradition nonetheless.

    • Atypical, while it’s all just tradition, they do place at least some monetary value on the engagement ring, otherwise it wouldn’t usually involve a precious stone; it would be just a plain band, or none at all. It’s all just tradition, some consider all of them meaningless and stupid: the ring, the getting down on one knee, the proposal, the name change, all of it. Their all aspects of the same tradition.

      Some may be for, or please the woman more than the man, or vice-versa. So, if she refuses the name change tradition that he may favor, it’s only fair that he refuse the ring and proposal tradition that she may favor.

      • This is a good example of why my name is “Atypical” : no thanks to the knee, a plain band is great, and I’ll keep my last name thanks. Now let’s go find a courthouse. My boyfriend/future husband is lucky. I don’t generally understand women so I’m speaking for the minority of the “atypicals” out there. I do not put up with tit-for-tat relationships. People should do things because they WANT to, not because they EXPECT something out of the gesture. But…I guess that’s just most people,,,unfortunate…

        • Fairness and equality might seem tit for tat to the one on the receiving end. Why even a plain band or a proposal at all? Those are also traditions. A person can buy their own ring if they want one, but there is no value in a proposal or wearing a ring at all in reality.

          • JoAnne Dietrich says:

            There are many great responses here. I think we should do away with these silly traditions. The man and woman should talk and decide when to get married. Each should give each other a simple wedding ring. No porposals. No engagement ring. The woman should be able to keep her name. This is the year 2012.

            • There’s no reason to wear a ring unless you just like jewelry, in which case you don’t need to wait until you get married to have someone else buy it for you.

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