Start your most important holiday shopping early, or you’ll be reduced to gifts marketed to the desperate, like these.
It is that time of the year again, when the Christmas madness begins and people go berserk in shopping malls. Lots of men tend to leave their Christmas shopping to the last minute. This leads to the craziest and most random gift ideas, as there is not much time left and the resources are low.
Therefore, I have listed down a few NO-GO Christmas presents for your girlfriend, because you don’t want to sleep all alone on the couch on Christmas Day.
Find unique holiday gift ideas for women here.
5. Dust Mop Slippers
You can’t go wrong with slippers, can you? Unfortunately yes, you can, as you can see in the picture above. Those Dust Mob slippers from Amazon enable you to clean the floor while walking around. Even if you put it that way, it still won’t work on any girl. This gift idea will only give her the feeling that she is supposed to do the cleaning in the house.
4. Push-Up Bra
You could have guessed this one already. An dispute about her breast size won’t help. You could get her a bra, but do you actually know her size? You definitely shouldn’t undertake this mission on your own. Either ask one of her girlfriends to help you out or forget this gift idea completely and start searching for another gift.
3. Wii Fit
If you consider buying her the Wii Fit game, you are automatically screwed (and I don’t mean that in a good way).
Let me explain: The moment you turn on the game, it asks you for your height measures, your weight and BMI. Hence, if you are the slightest bit overweight, a cute high pitched voice will let you know that. In addition to that, the little avatar on the screen begins to turn a little chunky for his workout clothes.
2. Stripper Pole
Let’s be honest, this type of gift is actually for you and not for her. She will not be as fond of being your own private dancer as you imagine.
So unless she is a dancer who needs a pole for practice, or a fan of Carmen Electra’s pole work out videos; you should keep your hands off that product. You don’t want to start a discussion that begins with, “Do I look like a stripper to you?”
1. iBuzz
Buying her a new iPod would have been a perfectly fine gift. However, you tried to find a more unique iPod accessory on the internet. One thing linked to another and you landed on the best-selling music activated iPod vibrator sex toy.
It was a nice thought, but—BZZZZZZZ!!!—try again.
BZZZZZZZ!!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ … !!
Good luck, and Merry Christmas already!
Read more on The Good Life.
Feature image credit: apdk/Flickr; other images courtesy of the author
About Sachi Jayatilleke
“You don’t want to start a discussion that begins with, “Do I look like a stripper to you?””
If she said that, I’d be tempted to walk. Some people actually like to have fun and do things for their partner, hell he can poledance on it too. Buying a vibrator for a partner can be great too. Your advice depends on the woman in question.
Best bet is to ask her the kind of gifts she likes, or get her to fill out an amazon gift list and buy something from that.
Honestly, I think this is more a case of “Don’t buy things as gifts unless you’re absolutely sure the recipient wants them.” I’m an avid reader of sci-fi and fantasy novels. I’ve had relatives who, thinking they were being helpful and considerate, got me copies of That Kind Of Christian Self-Help Book. You know, the ones where the reason your life isn’t perfect is because you’re trying to fulfill your own dreams and wishes instead of totally surrendering your will to God, and once you do so NOTHING WILL EVER GO WRONG EVER. I refuse to open them; I think giving them to Goodwill would be an insult, both to said relatives AND to the people buying that tripe secondhand; frankly I wouldn’t insult my bottom by using them as toilet paper, or the concept of fires by using them as kindling.
Said relatives have noticed that I’ve reacted with a bit more enthusiasm when bookstore gift cards are offered to me. I haven’t received another crummy self-help book since.
On the flip side, my mother is the sort who wants at least one of her gifts to be practical around the house. Over the years, she has asked for, and thus happily received: oven mitts, a Dyson vacuum, one of those nice knife blocks, a new apron, and a toaster. But if she hadn’t wanted or asked for these items, she probably would have found them rather insulting as presents.
I sincerely hope this is the message the author of this article intended to send. It’d be somewhat problematic if the message were, or included, “Vibrators are always a bad gift for everybody ever.”
I’m in agreement with Archy. The mop slippers would also be a great joke gift, but surely no one would buy JUST them for their gf. As for the push up bra.. I have never been one to buy underwear for women so cant really comment
Having said that my ex asked for oven mitts for xmas. I point blank refused, wasnt gonna risk that being thrown back in my face in years to come.
Buying her underwear is also buying yourself a gift. Sure, she might like them but you should get her something for her too.
I appreciate the effort but this seems to swing the pendulum from “Make hard line assumptions x and y about what she wants.” to “Make hard line assumptions x and y about what she doesn’t want.”
Of course it would be wrong make any assumptions about what someone would want as a gift but it seems but now it seems to be a matter of gift advice being just take somethings that may or may not invoke some old gender roles and striking it off the list of gift ideas.\
Feel sorry for any women that may want some of these items but are with guys that will take advice like this.
Is it really that hard to push the idea of, “Find out what she wants and get it.”
Jewelry, dust mop, soldering iron, stripper pole and clear heels, etc… does it matter what the gift is if that’s what she wants.
I agree. The way I see it, if she asks for the Wii fit, it’s fine to get her the Wii fit. Same with buying a pole. If she wants to be your ‘private dancer’ then awesome, the point is not to ASSUME she does. I guess you could call this a list of gifts not to go for if you are for some reason incredibly stuck about what to get for your female SO, and whenever you ask her she says ‘I don’t mind!’ Oh man, people who say that when you ask them what they want…. Actually worse than that is ‘I don’t want anything really.’ Yessss…but I want to buy you something, and you know I’m going to anyway, and now I feel like you won’t like it anyway! I can never take people at their word when they say that.
That’s why this year I think I’ll just give my wife some cash. She could then buy anything she likes. What could go wrong with that? : – )
Sooooo much could go wrong with that
The assumption with this is all women want or don’t want the same stuff. I HATE getting jewelry. I don’t wear jewelry but some men assume that’s the safe gift. After all all women want flowers and jewelry (hate cut flowers too).
On the other hand a wii fit sounds kind of fun.
The problem with this article and many others is that it inevitably generalized all women. Due to the fact that each individual is different, writing a piece of advice that is 100% relevant to a large number of people is completely impossible. So the only solution is to make a note that there are exceptions to each rule, however spending too much time discussing to the exceptions distracts from the real point of the article, and won’t perfectly account for everyone anyway. So writers must be cautious when generalizing, but readers should probably be a little less critical just because they now of an exceptions to the “No Push-Up Bras for Christmas” rule.
Um, why exactly wouldn’t we want a cool music vibrator? Sounds like my dream gift.
And I’d be kinda sad if my boyfriend gave me just cash. I like personal gifts he’d know that I like.
Why is ibuzz the worst? That is actually awesome. Also agree with QuantumInc.