Whether to Father: 11/3

Don’t know if you want to become a father? Or are you certain?

The decision to become a parent isn’t always clear or obvious. While for some men, becoming a husband and father are inevitable milestones in a man’s life, for others, there is at least the illusion of choice. Is your image of yourself as a man with (or without) children a large part of your identity? How has this part of you been formed?

Have you decided to find a partner, or have you already? Are you in a relationship in which you are not in agreement on whether to become parents? If you have already found yourself in this position, how did you resolve the conflict?

Have you become a father unexpectedly, such as through unplanned pregnancy, or by falling in love with a parent? How did you change to accommodate the situation?

Have you donated sperm? How does this relate to your decision regarding whether to become a father?

Has divorce, imprisonment, or other circumstances, separated you from your children or attenuated your relationship with them, prompting the question of whether to continue, or recommence, being a father to your children?

If becoming a father is contingent on a change in yourself or circumstances, what has to change, and why is it so important?

Are you sure you don’t want children? Are you sure you do? Why is it critical to decide?


Send your personal essays on the decision to father to Justin Cascio at justin@goodmenproject.com by Saturday, November 3 for consideration.


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