FMK*:
Christina Hendricks
Sofia Vergara
Salma Hayek
*Read the Whole Post First
Hey gang, I just invented an amazing new game that I’m certain is going to catch on here at Internet Headquarters like gangbusters. Can you feel the excitement of being there at the moment a viral phenomenon was first unleashed?
The game is SO easy to play, but highly addictive once you start. It works like this: Someone names 3 people of renown and everyone else has to decide how they list them in their personal FMK hierarchy. It’s a great way to get know how other people think and how stupid their opinions are!
For today’s game, I’ve decided to select three famous actresses who I have dubbed “The Trinity” for fairly obvious reasons: Christina Hendricks, Sofia Vergara & Salma Hayek.
GO!
“But Allan!” I hear you all shouting at your computer screens. “You haven’t told us what FMK means!”
Personally I think it’s pretty obvious, but if I HAVE to spell it out for all of you I will. FMK stands for:
Fire – The celebrity you wouldn’t want to continue working at your company.
Mimic – The celebrity you could most easily imitate at parties.
Klinger – The celebrity you suspect would look best in drag, a la Jamie Farr’s character in the iconic 70s sitcom M*A*S*H.
I told you it was easy! I can’t wait to hear your answers and I promise to give you mine once I see a bunch of them appear below. (Updated: You gotta justify those answers!)
Okay, so you didn’t think the post was funny; click something else and move on. There’s no need to lambast everyone who makes a joke that you don’t appreciate.
I thought it was funny. Not everyone’s going to get the joke, I guess.
Me too.
I’d fuck Christina Hendricks, marry Jackson’s iPhone, and kill all the people who get butthurt so easily.
This is why you’re my favourite, Alexa.
Yes the site does have substance. This article, not so much.
I disagree. I think it’s there if you look for it.
Oh yes, Alexa, now THIS is humour. I cannot contain myself. This is so funny.
At last we agree on something! 🙂
Hahahahaha THAT was funny.
Thought this site had more substance than this. FMK is for the game “Fu*k, Marry, Kiss” and this was a terrible attempt at making up something else. Calling FMK “obvious” in meaning was not anywhere near funny.
“The Trinity” really? Surely you could make three more tworthy women.
I meant “kill” not “kiss”… Damn iPhone autocorrect.
The site has plenty of substance, Jackson. Enough so that there is plenty of room for posts that use humour to subvert and mock sexism.
Disappointed to see this post on this site. First of all the dubbing of endowed ladies as “The Trinity” is sexist. Second of all this is a trivial game with no relation to what I feel this site is about.
Sorry you didn’t like it G, but I feel that it’s pretty clear that the intention of this post was to specifically satirize and mock sexism rather than support it, which is why I chose those specific performers. Traditionally FMK stands for “Fuck, Marry, Kill” and I feel by subverting this, it plays EXACTLY into what GMP is about. That said, the site is meant to reach a very large audience and not everything we post is going to be for everyone.
Hmmm… Didn’t sense any sarcasm in this post. Weak attempt.
The post rather clearly points out the inherent foolishness of FMK by randomly replacing the “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with complete non sequiturs. If anything the better criticism would be that it’s too obvious, not too subtle.
I wasn’t aware of the original FMK meaning, so I took your article at face value. I’m used to satire on sites that are clearly about it (I.e. The Onion). All in all I think this was misguided but others may disagree.
Why do you feel it was misguided?
Since not everyone knows the meaning of FMK, the “joke” is lost on them. There’s not enough humor in the post to make it effective beyond taking a potshot at that game. Even with the knowledge of the game I don’t think it’s funny. But, again, everyone has a different sense of humor.
That’s fair, but I’m one of those people with the different sense of humour, so expect to see more of this kind of thing in this section in the future.
I have to make one observation about how happy I am about these critiques – only for one reason – a year ago the only comments on GMP about sexism were denying that it exists. Hahaha. I’ll take these guys over that any day!!
Though I”m a pretty ridiculously fervent feminist (degree in Women’s Studies from UCLA and a third generation suffragette/women’s libber/feminist) and I thought this was really funny.