Would you have
changed your face
if it meant not
being bullied
as a kid?
As someone who was also bullied as a kid for their appearance, I immediately understood her rational for undergoing the surgery, even as I appreciated that such physical changes won’t necessarily result in asshole bullies suddenly reversing their stances and accepting their victims with open arms. If Renata ends up being even just a little bit happier because of the surgery, then it was probably worth it. But–I have to wonder–would I have done the same thing if I had the same opportunity at her age?
A few months ago, I was asked to appear on a HuffPost Live segment about the lives of short men.
Now, of course, there’s something very wrong with a society where a child’s life could be significantly improved by altering their appearance, but the right or wrongness isn’t really the question here. Instead, I’m wondering if this was a practical, workable and available solution to you when you were a child, would you have taken it?
(Image taken from George Franju’s Les yeux sans visage)
I was bullied all through school for being “ugly”. I got to about eighteen years old before it clicked. It took being offered a role in a film as an attractive character to make me realise I wasn’t actually ugly, it was simply a word they used to ‘justify’ their persecution. So many years wasted hating the way I looked, wishing I could be someone else, when actually that would have made no difference, they would simply have found another characteristic to pick on. They were the ones who needed to change. People have to realise that the problem is… Read more »
I was bullied all growing up. Some of it was about appearance, a minor thing easily corrected but not all that important. As Jen notes above, no plastic surgery would have really stopped the bullying. At the time, though, I would have done anything, up to and including murder, to get it to stop.
I was bullied all through my childhood for the way I looked. I was a very underweight, fairly tall for my age, and possessed a large, man-sized nose on my small face. I was also very sickly. I was both verbally and and physically abused in the first and second grades. My learning suffered. I was tense all the time, scared, couldn’t concentrate, feared recess and began hating school. The abuse came eventually to my teacher’s attention, and she informed my parents. It was decided I would be taken out of this public school, and sent to a private school.… Read more »
I wasn’t bullied as a child.. well, I did have the occasional “fatty” comment but I never considered it bullying. I still didn’t have a very high self esteem when I was younger. However, I will face this subject in the near future… My son was born with a (mostly) mild form Treacher-Collins Syndrome in 2010. TCS effects the growth of facial and jaw bones and also the ears (to oversimplify it). My son’s ears were the tell-tale sign that something was wrong when he was born and within the first days after his diagnosis, my husband and I had… Read more »
Shorter version of comment that disappeared into the ether: I was relentlessly bullied from grades 4 through 10, and the insults were always about my appearance. I was painfully thin, clumsy, walked on my tiptoes, and had a series of bad haircuts, home perms and outfits. By my senior year in high school I was convinced that everything about me needed plastic surgery, and so desperately depressed by the bullying that I had to be hospitalized. So what was wrong with me other than being a gawky adolescent in the fashion-backward 80s? Physically? Nothing. But I did have undiagnosed Aspergers… Read more »
Ridiculous. So her nose is big – try getting through school being born with a bi-lateral handicap. Was it easy getting through school with no fingers on either hand? Was I called names, bullied, even beaten up – hell yeah. But I was always taught to be proud of who I was, sure, the name-calling hurt, but I knew that these bullies were mean, hateful little snots, who were on a power trip. And it’s just a nose, for goodness sake. She’ll probably grow into it, and even if she doesn’t there are MANY successful, attractive people with large noses.… Read more »
If you’d asked me then, I would have said, ABSOLUTELY. Back then, I would have given anything to have fairer skin, more of a bridge on my nose, thinner lips. Now, not so much.
I guess I did change my face a bit. I went on medication to help my skin because I had really horrible outbreaks that lasted until I was about 20. As for my body I would gladly have undergone some type of surgery to get away from the fat jokes. At the time I grew up in a family that didn’t really understand balanced eating and exercise so even though I tried losing weight it was hard when I was not the person preparing meals (I mean it is hard even when I am!). On the other hand I don’t… Read more »
As the 2nd shortest kid in my grade 3rd thru 8th I would have given anything for 6 extra inches. JHS was simply hell ….. short, fat, awkward and bright does not help one fit into JHS. That All the girls towered over me in 7th, So along came the unloading their issues with boys onto the back a boy they could bully…….oh what fun I had……Drugs became my “safe” haven.
I was bullied relentlessly through school. I had very distinct features that I didn’t necessarily grow into until I was around 17 years old. I have very full lips and large almond shaped eyes. I was called many nasty names and frequently begged my mom to do something about it… Do what, I have no idea… But, I do remember asking for a lip reduction so the kids would stop trying to rip my lips off my face and stop calling me names. I now love the way that I look and think that my features lend to me being… Read more »