Cup Check: Woman Crushes Man’s Testicles Resulting in Death

Jamie Reidy comments on a woman’s killing a man by crushing his testicles with her hand.

 

 

HuffPo’s Harry Tuttle reports that a woman in China killed a man over a parking space by squeezing his testicles.

An unidentified 41-year-old woman in China’s Haiku City in the Hainan Province rode into town on her scooter to pick her child up from school. The woman tried to park in front of a local store, but the store owner, the 42-year-old victim, refused to allow it.

Who knows why the woman didn’t park in front of the, uh, school. Maybe that’s what made her so angry.

The resulting fight escalated, leading the woman to call her husband and brother, who in turn got into a more violent fist fight with the shopkeeper, according to the website. At some point in the fracas, the woman grabbed the man’s testicles and squeezed them until he collapsed. He was taken to a hospital for treatment and later died.

 [Editor’s Note: Some content has been removed from this post.]

 

Photo by: IanL

 

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About Jamie Reidy

Jamie Reidy is a former U.S. Army officer turned little blue pill pusher turned author. His first book "Hard Sell: The Evolution of A Viagra Salesman"
served as the basis for the movie "Love and Other Drugs" starring Jake Gyllenhaal. Jamie is currently writing his new book, "Game On: One Fanatic's Fantastic, Foolish and Futile Attempt to Attend 365 Sporting Events in 365 Days." He discovered his latest story featured on Good Men Project - "Hope Shoots and Scores" - on Day 39 of his crazy journey.

Comments

  1. Yeah, this is pretty horrendous. I don’t think this is funny at all. And all for what? A parking spot. I’m amazed. That women deserves to go to jail.

    • Peter Houlihan says:

      As terrible a thing as that was to do that to someone, did she kill him? It sounds like she horribly injured him while her brothers beat him to death.

      • That’s crossed my mind as well but from what I gather I’m thinking that she might have squeezed testicles until they burst/ruptured and died of internal bleeding or something.

  2. Every other place I’ve seen this covered in the last few days has done just what was done here, make a joke out of it. The next time someone complains about MRAs that get irrationally angry said irrationally angry MRAs will have stuff like this to point to to explain why.

    This is precisely what MRAs are talking about when they say that violence against men is treated like a joke while violence against women is treated like the serious business it is.

    • “This is precisely what MRAs are talking about when they say that violence against men is treated like a joke while violence against women is treated like the serious business it is.”

      Sadly, you expect that level of misandry from the mainstream media. I’d be shocked if they showed compassion to the victim and his family instead of making lame, sexist jokes. However, to find this sort of misandry on a site supposedly for men, well it just goes to show how truly anti-male this society is.

  3. I just don’t get it. That guy had hopes and dreams. He had a mom and dad. He was trying his best to do his job right. And he had it all taken from him for a parking spot. He got savagely attacked by three people for a fucking parking spot. Why does he deserve less respect than a woman?

    Because we all know if a man destroyed a woman’s genitals and killed her as a result there would be no jokes made about her.

    I don’t get it. I thought we were humans too.

    • And women complain about double standards.

      Have we ever “vagina’d” you to death?

      • Why, yes, women around the world die from being raped.

        During war, enemies have been commonly known to bayonet women in the vagina, which obviously results in death.

        • Well that’s rape; a crime.

          The other an argument… over a parking space.

          • Joanna Schroeder says:

            Assault is a crime. This woman assaulted and helped murder a man. That’s a crime.

            • And what did she get? 30 days? Like that woman who just ripped all her ex’s teeth out?

              Yea that makes sense.

        • Joanna – you have linked war rape to this story, which is a Strawman argument, and not a valid. To be fair, I am aware that a number of comments have been removed – so it’s not clear as to the context in which you use it. I have seen nothing in any coverage of the story which indicated that the man who died was subjected to rape.

          But – Quantitative Vs Qualitative – And The Band Played On!

          22% of men in Eastern central African war report sexual related violence due to war – and 33% of women – meaning over 50% of people are the Victims Of Sexual Violence. Which is the valid figure to look at 22? 33? or 50+? Statistics are Blind – it’s the people who use them that have to avoid bias!

          But as you have raised Rape and War Rape – readers may need to look at t a few sources and available material to restore balance. There are so many which are inaccessible and as such obscured, hard to link to , so I have chosen the most accessible, given the medium of The Net.

          The Rape Of Men – Guardian – 17 July 2011

          Rape as a Weapon of War: Men Suffer, Too – Time Publishing – August 3, 2011

          Male rape, too, as weapon of war – salon.com – Aug 5, 2009

          Bosnia: Struggle to Overcome Male Rape Taboo – Fifteen years after Bosnian war, fight goes on for victims’ recognition and justice. – Institute for War & Peace Reporting – 17 Apr 10.

          This next link is interesting as the person who has the highest prominence and responsibility for dealing with rape as a weapon in Central East Africa dismisses males reporting rape.

          An Interview With Lena Slachmuijlder on the Congo

          As Slachmuijlder says;

          We felt as though we were raising awareness around certain things – that rape is illegal, what constitutes rape, you know, the basics, because some of those definitions have been mixed up with cultures and traditions. But we often found that these sensitizations were creating another reaction on behalf of the men in the audiences. They felt as though they were not getting attention; they invariably stood up and said that they, men, had been raped. But that was coming largely from feeling disempowered. They would often use this phrase, “Women are raping us” referring to the way that women dress or the fact that they have money, giving the impression that the men are unable to resist, and the women are able do whatever they want.

          Odd – men say they are being raped and it gets turned into something quite different! It may be something if it was even said that the reports had been looked at and found to be false or misleading.

          It’s worth contrasting the other reports on Central East Africa with Lena Slachmuijlder’s views. They are so difficult to reconcile. There are too many reports of males being force-ably raped by women (with soldiers facilitating this) as a cultural matter which related to removing a males power and shaming him. It’s off that Slachmuijlder’s supposed 21 years in the field has not highlighted this cultural and social matter. The reports from Central East Africa go back 20 years, and come from Peace Keepers and Observers sent by the UN. Due to the passage of time and the relevant infamy of the net those reports do not feature on freely accessible web resources. ( also Ref Bosnia, Sri Lanka, Central America/South America and Africa In general)

          I have to make clear that there is nothing more Dis-Empowering than saying you have been raped and then being dismissed, ignored and demeaned. I know that from 3 decades of working with Male, Female and Child victims.

          Rape Culture – “a term or concept used to describe a culture in which rape and sexual violence are common and in which prevalent attitudes, norms, practices, and media normalise, excuse, tolerate, or even condone sexual violence.” – to that I would add Trivialise – and it does not matter who is Trivialising or why! It is just victim blaming and shaming, all the same.

          Interestingly some are addressing the issue very determinedly and discussing all facets of the issue – from the reality to Institutionalised failure and the impact in relation to International law and Humanitarian Intervention.

          The silent male victims of rape – Hundreds of thousands of men have been raped, but it is such a taboo that few know the full extent of the crime. – 28 Jul 2011.

          Note – The program does contain explicit and graphic images and video footage that some may find highly disturbing. The truth is not glossed over.

          As the web-page states; “Hundreds of thousands of men have been raped by other men. Some of them have been gang-raped repeatedly and over a period of many years. It is a sex crime that is so common the numbers almost equal that of female victims during times of war.

          There is a fascinating discussion with Louise Aubin, the deputy director of international protection at the UNHCR; Chris Dolan, the director of the Refugee Law Project; and Will Storr, contributing writer for the Guardian and the author of The Rape of Men & Lara Stemple, Director of Graduate Studies at UCLA School of Law . – it can be watched in full on Inside Story – Al-Jljazeera.

          It is interesting that of over 4000 NGO’s that deal with Rape In War – only 3% even mention that males of any age can be victims. They even exclude boys as potential victims under the heading of Child Sexual Abuse. That of course denies access to help with a view to becoming a survivor.

          The analysis also points out that of over 100 international treaties, UN Security Council Resolutions and other significant documents relating to War, Humanitarian Innervations, Aide and International law – only one, that is 1%, acknowledges that males of any age are at any risk of Sexual Violence as a result of War, Civil Unrest or Natural Disaster. Recorded figures show incidences as high as 50%.

          Al-Jazeera covers all the issues in a wide ranging discussion that is so very Informative it has given a great many people valid insight into the issue – and as Lara Stemple (Also UCLA CENTER FOR THE STUDY OF WOMEN) makes clear – “.. I see this as a women’s issue …” and “.. I often see this issue as being at the point in time we were in dealing with sexual violence against women and girls 40 years ago.”.

          Maybe, Lara Stemple should be invited to provide a piece for readers? Her research is impeccable, her views clear and her presentation calm, clear rational and without bias. I would welcome it.

          It is evident that there is a need for catch up and even generational and cultural issues to be addressed!

          • “22% of men in Eastern central African war report sexual related violence due to war – and 33% of women – meaning over 50% of people are the Victims Of Sexual Violence. Which is the valid figure to look at 22? 33? or 50+? Statistics are Blind – it’s the people who use them that have to avoid bias!”

            Statistician here. Not trying to agree or disagree with anything in your post. You can’t add the 22 and the 33. It’s 22% of men (1/2 the population, more or less) and 33% of women, so to get the overall rate it’s (.22x.5)+(.33x.5), or roughly 27.5% of the total population. You can’t just add the numbers; that’s effectively double counting since the base would increase to twice the population.

        • Mediahound, your article is so perfect that I actually save it to my laptop.
          I didn’t wanna start arguing that rape is applicable to males too because some women don’t see it that way for some reason, but hey I’m glad you did.

          Joanna, I’ll give you a simplified example:
          If this argument broke out on the street and the man had slapped the woman he would’ve been strung up by his jellybeans for that move.
          Now if the woman attacked him punching, kicking and screaming, some people would just stand there and say wow that woman is crazy.
          But that’s about it.

          No assault or anything, just a comment because, hey the man can handle himself right?

          Double standards.

          • Joanna Schroeder says:

            That on-the-street scenario is complete speculation. While you may be right, you can’t exactly build a foundation of an argument upon a “if x were to happen”.

          • Mediahound, your article is so perfect that I actually save it to my laptop.
            I didn’t wanna start arguing that rape is applicable to males too because some women don’t see it that way for some reason, but hey I’m glad you did.

            Glad to be of service!

            As I made clear, due to the reported editing of the OP and comments, I have no idea why rape and war rape have been raised – but as they had, it is necessary to keep matters clear and balanced. 3 decades in the field have shown me that.

            On the other hand, what I have written does highlight the sex/gender imbalance which I perceive has having been a factor with this OP and the comments, so it does have a place.

            Genitals are Genitals and I don’t care who they belong to – I deal with the person and not their gender or sex first.

            To my mind, there is not much point teaching kids about bodily integrity, if as soon as they are old enough to vote one group gets voted down and the other up! That just smacks of a double standard. Kids learn by example, and as I have seen all too often, the views kids have in adult life come from the views and ideas expressed to and about them as children.

            “Give me a child until he is 7, and I shall give you the man.”

            Negative attitudes to stories such as this one can have a lifetime impact – on multiple levels!

  4. Are you kidding me? Sure, it’s terrible that this guy died, but when someone dies in this kind of bizarre and unfortunate way, OF COURSE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO JOKE ABOUT IT. The whole situation is insane and is begging for sarcastic commentary. Thanks, Jamie.

  5. PursuitAce says:

    I apologize in advance for the graphic nature…you are forewarned.

    “Today’s News; A woman died today when upon exiting a small aircraft she turned the wrong way and walked into a moving aircraft propeller. Witnesses at the scene reported that the high speed propeller blade cut off both of her breasts. While paramedics tried to save her she bled to death at the scene.”

    Let’s see what kind of humor you can get out of that.

    • Average jill or average joe says:

      Nope. No humor there.

      The thing is, the event you spoke of – as bad as it is…and it IS a terrible thing – doesn’t compare to the event that this piece is making light of and joking about.

      The Chinese man whose death is being joked about was the victim of a crime. He was attacked by 3 people, one of whom attacked his genitals. This wasn’t a bizarre series of events which ultimately led to his death. He was savagely attacked and died as a result.

      Maybe instead of laughing about this man’s death, maybe we’d all be better off if we tried to discuss WHY people find his death funny. Maybe that’s what bothers me about this…we have an opportunity to discuss the bigger picture here and all that is published is a piece piling on with the inappropriate humor.

      • PursuitAce says:

        You’re right. The real event is even worse. No one finds it funny here so maybe it can be discussed somewhere else among the more emotionally damaged people.

        • Average jill or average joe says:

          Except, in the original, unedited, article when it first appeared there were several offensive jokes thrown into it. I’m not sure if you saw it or not…

          It was clear from the unedited version that the author DID find it funny…at least enough to include some pretty tasteless lines in the original unedited version of his post.

          But, now that the original posting has been edited to remove the offensive parts so some of our comments seem out of place in the context of the edited version that remains.

      • I believe a model walked into the prop by accident a while ago, pilot didn’t stop the prop in time before the doors had opened or something along those lines and she walked the wrong way. Lauren Scruggs is her name and I believe she lost an eye, sounds like the prop was partially feathered and spinning slower.

      • I recall there were a lot of jokes about the propeller incident.

        There was also a tragic case a few years ago where a teenage girl who crashed her father’s Porsche and was decapitated in the accident. The photos were leaked by someone in the police dept. and went viral. I won’t give you her name because believe me, you don’t want to see the photos. The number of horrible comments and jokes that were made about her is truly sickening, simply because she was (a) young, (b) attractive, (c) rich, and (d) stupid enough to crash her dad’s Porsche while driving 100 mph. Her parents were bombarded with email from people mocking their dead daughter, if you can believe it.

        People make vile jokes about a LOT of tragic and awful things. It’s despicable whenever it happens, whoever it happens to.

  6. Tom Matlack says:

    Ouch!

  7. Am I the only person who is a little skeptical? The details are very sketchy and there is no explanation of the mechanism of the alleged death.I’m not saying it didn’t happen, but I guess I’m not convinced.

  8. Nick, mostly says:

    It’s terrible that Jamie turned this into a joke, laughing at the man who was killed.
    Wait, where’s the joke again? I’m looking at the two lines Jamie wrote:

    HuffPo’s Harry Tuttle reports that a woman in China killed a man over a parking space by squeezing his testicles.

    Who knows why the woman didn’t park in front of the, uh, school. Maybe that’s what made her so angry.

    So there’s a joke in there somewhere? What exactly shows that he’s making fun of the death? Or did he simply not adopt a somber-enough tone for some people’s liking?

    I mean, it’s a weird death. Who knew a guy could die from something like that (if that was indeed the cause of death – since he likely also suffered considerable blunt force trauma before and after he lost consciousness)? The woman who died from the propeller? The death is certainly under weird circumstances but we’re not really surprised when someone dies from having body parts chopped off. Now if some guy squeezed her newly enhanced bosom, causing an implant to rupture and causing death, I’d expect a similar “wtf that’s crazy!” tone in writing about it, because we wouldn’t expect squeezing someone’s breasts could kill them.

    • This article has been edited, and all references to it in the comment section, including my own, have been removed.

      What the hell mods?

      • Average jill or average joe says:

        Yes, I see the article has been edited to take out the parts that were inappropriate and offensive, making some of our comments seem out of place.

        *shrug*

        • Would you guys prefer we remove your comments? Let me know, I’m happy to.

          Of course we removed the questionable lines. We heard you, and we responded.

          For the record, the questionable lines did NOT make fun of the man who was the victim, but rather the perpetrators.

          I think a discussion about WHY we tend to react to bizarre situations, especially ones where the most heinous act a man could ever imagine happening to him, with humor. It isn’t just us. It isn’t because we are cruel, it is because this is a way in which we cope with things that make us uncomfortable, or things that scare us.

          Do you honestly believe that Jamie thinks a man dying is funny? Or a man dying that way is funny? No, but the scenario is just so obscenely bizarre that it’s quite common to relate to it this way.

          I’m not saying that everyone is going to like it, but I’m saying that the opportunity to learn the best way to talk about situations like this are valuable.

          • I’m all for having such a discussion but there is one problem. The subject matter has literally been deleted. But thankfully that response wasn’t just limited to this post (take a gander at the comments if you dare):

            http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/26/woman-squeezed-mans-testicles-kills-parking-china_n_1457487.html?ref=mostpopular

            Do you honestly believe that Jamie thinks a man dying is funny? Or a man dying that way is funny? No, but the scenario is just so obscenely bizarre that it’s quite common to relate to it this way.
            Sure it might be true that Jamie doesn’t really think its funny. But at the same time whenever we talk about someone by offended by commentary how often do we bring up if they really meant it or not? From what I’ve heard intent doesn’t matter that much.

            • Thank you for listening. One last but important (IMO) recommendation. Change the title to use the respectful term “tesitcles” rather than “balls.” Why?

              To illustrate, how would it be recieved by women if the piece describing the accident where the woman’s breasts were cut off used the term “tits” instead of “breasts?”

              In this context, using terms such as “balls” or “tits” makes light of and isn’t (IMO)respectful of the accident or, in this case, murder victim. Some would argue the use of such is downright boorish.

    • It’s being made light of. Tongue in cheek humor.

  9. On the real this is a punk move. Not only has the post been edited but some of the comments have been deleted.

    You know for as much as people talk about how guys do stupid stuff was there really a need to try to make a joke out of a guy that was killed as the result of someone else’s actions? Sure you could have found some story about a guy that smashed his testicles trying to do a bike stunt. I’d still be bothered but at least it would be something he himself did.

    Or you can show your real comical skills and make a fun of Savannah Hardin. She was a little girl in Montgomery, Alabama that died from seizure related problems after her stepmother forced her to run nonstop for several hours. To make it even funnier make sure you put in how she forced her to run as punishment for lying about eating a candy bar.

    • Danny, I hope you understand (as I’ve said in the comments) that we removed the jokes in the article as a reaction to the commenters who were upset about it.

      Calling it a “punk move” really bums me out, Danny, and you and I are friends and I admire you, so it doubly bums me out.

      We had the best of intentions in the attempt to fix the problem you all brought to us. We removed the comments that didn’t make sense in context.

      I’m not sure you’d find a lot of major online publications and communities who would hear their commenters’ concerns and immediately jump on trying to remedy the situation.

      • Danny, I hope you understand (as I’ve said in the comments) that we removed the jokes in the article as a reaction to the commenters who were upset about it.
        Fair enough.

        Calling it a “punk move” really bums me out, Danny, and you and I are friends and I admire you, so it doubly bums me out.
        You know I was angry and I should not have taken it that far as to say that, especially before someone said something behind what was done and why it was done. My apologies.

        I’m not sure you’d find a lot of major online publications and communities who would hear their commenters’ concerns and immediately jump on trying to remedy the situation.
        True.

        We had the best of intentions in the attempt to fix the problem you all brought to us. We removed the comments that didn’t make sense in context.
        I think what got me heated (even more than I already was) was that after the post and comment were edited you then seemed to want to talk about what causes such bizarre reactions.

        Again I was out of line with the name calling. My apologies.

  10. I see my comment where I shook my head and wondered whether this place was about being a good man has been removed as well.

    Likely this one will get removed too. Others have made similar ones that were removed as well.

    I know it violates policy but it’s a legitmate concern. Why bother calling this site about being a Good Man when articles like this get excused and concerns deleted out of commision?

  11. Oh wait, hang on.

    Now I’m putting two and two together.

    Maybe they did change it out of protest from the early commentary.

    Hmmm. I hope that’s the case.

    • YES that is why we changed it. You guys were upset about it, so we changed it.

      I’m feeling a bit weird about all this, you guys. We heard you that you’re upset about the way it originally appeared and so we changed it. Now you’re upset that we changed it?

      If your purpose in calling us out was to shame us, to show how bad we were, then I can see why you’d be upset with us for changing it. Because you want to see what’s so bad about the post, so you can keep talking about it.

      But isn’t the issue that you guys don’t want violence against men to seem funny? That’s why we took out the jokes. Because we heard you and don’t want to propagate the notion that violence against men is funny.

      If anyone wants their comments deleted because they’re out of context please email me and I’d be happy to do it:

      joanna @ goodmenproject.com

      Isn’t the best thing you can expect from people when they make mistakes is to hear the critique and do better? That’s what we’re trying to do.

      • Average jill or average joe says:

        Thanks for taking the time to explain things Joanna. I tried to respond to one of your earlier comments above but my response got eaten by the screen refresh and then I saw you had elaborated on the situation here.

        I think acknowledging a mistake and taking steps to correct it is commendable. I give credit where it is due and I thank you for hearing all of the earlier critiques and taking steps to correct the problem.

        However, in doing so, it created an issue for commenters such as myself who read the original post and reacted negatively to the questionable jokes it contained. There was no notification that a change had been made so I then made additional comments based on the unedited content of the original post.

        I’m wondering if it’s possible in the future to acknowledge that a change has been made to the original posting so that someone like myself doesn’t continue to comment with both guns blazing so to speak?

        I did mention in an earlier post that I thought perhaps discussing why people found the situation in question humorous might be worthwhile. Unfortunately, with the original content and many comments deleted, an honest discussion doesn’t seem possible now.

        I’m not sure if letting my comments stand as they appear now makes any sense in the context of the edits made to the original post. I think I’ll let you make the best determination about deleting them or not. To me, they seem out of place now but I’m ok either way.

        Again, thanks for taking the time to explain how things went down today on this posting and the comment section. I do hope you take my suggestion to heart and perhaps add an editor’s note in the future any time a major content change is made to an original post.

      • “I’m feeling a bit weird about all this, you guys. We heard you that you’re upset about the way it originally appeared and so we changed it. Now you’re upset that we changed it?”

        I don’t have a problem with the article being edited to remove offensive material, but a little footnote at the bottom stating that it had been edited would have been warranted.(such a thing has been done in the past IIRC) Because frankly, until you came here and explained what had happened it looked like an attempt at a coverup. Especially since all the comments alluding to it just vanished as well.

        • Joanna Schroeder says:

          First, not all comments disappeared. We left the ones that made sense in context.

          We’ve now made a footnote and will in the future.

          • Joanna – glad to see that my comments below regarding the need for clarity and avoidance of inadvertent “Gas-lighting” have had a result.

            It’s a pity though that it took so long – at least 5 hours – to have an edit footnote added. I realise that Mods may not have access to OP’s to change content – and that may need to be reviewed so that incidents like this are avoided in future.

            I have been dealing in Net/Web technology for 20 years, so I do grasp how it can get in the way and cause misperceptions and inadvertent misrepresentation. Reversing such misperceptions and inadvertent misrepresentation can be harder to solve than pushing water up hill with your nose. P^)

            If the mods don’t have the power/tiered access to avoid misperceptions and inadvertent misrepresentation It may be an idea to ask for mods to have the option to pull a story until it can be put in order – that way everyone wins.

            As I don’t know the full workings in the background, I can’t be sure what has been going on – but I do know it can be handled better in future.

            Onwards!

      • “YES that is why we changed it. You guys were upset about it, so we changed it.

        I’m feeling a bit weird about all this, you guys. We heard you that you’re upset about the way it originally appeared and so we changed it. Now you’re upset that we changed it?

        If your purpose in calling us out was to shame us, to show how bad we were, then I can see why you’d be upset with us for changing it. Because you want to see what’s so bad about the post, so you can keep talking about it.

        Joanna – what you are saying is not fair or balanced.

        1) There is no editors “Note” to indicate that the original OP has been changed.
        2) OP can be changed – but comments can’t be changed – so it places a significant BIAS against readers and commenters.
        3) Telling people they can request fro comments to be removed because they have been made irrelevant by others actions shifts responsibility to the wrong parties.
        4) Editing the OP and not making it clear it has occurred makes it appear that Commenters are Off Path, Off Topic – Crazy even.

        Having Edited and Managed sites in the past, I personally would have handed it very differently –

        1) If the OP is edited it says so, and explains why. There are a great many editors notes here on GMP that do just that.
        2) I would even have looked at moving the OP into a sand-box page(no comments) and linked to it so readers could compare and contrast.
        3) Left comments intact and linked the comments to the original sand-boxed page so people could make sense of the comments, the flow of communication. (Editors Note – This comment was made in response to the original OP – LINK – and should be read in that context.).

        If that is too much work – you Pull the page and replace it with an editor’s comment saying that due to concerns raised over content it was removed. Period. You even ask for contributions which address the concerns, and keep the matter open, transparent and honest. GMP states that it is a Long Running Dialogue on what it is to be a man/male, and yet what has occurred is anti-dialogue – it’s off mission.

        As it is – attempting to make sense of this whole tread is impossible! However, there is sufficient to see the patterns and why there is concern. I may be better qualified to articulate the underlying patterns which others are having difficulty articulating.

        It HAS BEEN a “Shaming Tactic” on websites for OP’s to be changed and no note made of this, so that commenters are mad to look mad, off balance, off topic – Loonies! It’s been caught too often to just be accident. It’s a well known gaming tactic that has wide usage and does bring sites into disrepute.

        There is also a saying “History Goes To The Victor”, and far too many people are familiar with how History gets changed on the net/web to change and manipulate reality – pages vanish – content is rewritten when people think no-one is looking. That is why so many pages get archived – copied – backed up. They do get very upset when people attempt to change reality, history and how other people are viewed. It is in fact known as “Gas-lighting”.

        I won’t link to Wikipedia as a reference as it is in in fact a Poorly written and references source on the subject – but I will link to this source “Call Me Crazy: The Subtle Power of Gaslighting “, as it covers the issue more widely with far less gender bias and with good none sex/gender biased examples.

        As It says:

        “It’s also possible that what appears to be gaslighting could simply represent different perceptions of the same reality, neither one being more objectively true (see Amie’s Two Ways to Right). But even seemingly benign forms of gaslighting can have adverse consequences for mental health and should be taken seriously.”

        There has been an ongoing debate about men being “Emotional” Vs “Emotional Honesty”.

        From what I can see here, people have been “Emotionally Honest” and explained why and questioned why certain matters have been allowed – why it was and is emotionally relevant and the emotions involved.

        The removal of source material stops others from understanding the Emotions and Emotional Honesty – and so reduces it all to some guys just being emotional and unclear. It has the effect of changing reality around people and so acts to “Gas-light”.

        Dismissing people as just emotional is an old shaming tactic and gas-lighter tactic. It has far less power and application when people attempt to use it against Emotional Honesty that can be judged in context and with reference to the cause of the distress/emotions involved.

        That is smoke and mirrors and it is an old shaming tactic and pattern of manipulator that is as old as the hills. It’s “Gas-lighting” – and that can be either deliberate or unwitting.

        Hope that this helps you to see a different point of view.

        Note – I can’t comment on the Original OP, The Changes and Comments – only the process that has been identified and which is having an impact, and the nature of that impact whether it is deliberate or unwitting.

        I have also had a look at reports of this story across the net – and I have to say that the images used as OP headings are less than appropriate – Rubber Balls Being Squeezed, Pictures of Children’s Blue Play Balls and Bunches Of Grapes – and there is an underlying humour that some seem to not grasp – It’s male genitals again and they are the butt of jokes!

        If in doubt – no image is best, or even just a very large “Question Mark” which allows readers to ask their own questions and comment openly!

        I also note that using images of grapes brings into play another idiom which is “The Grapes Of Wrath” – with the implication that concern about the story and or it’s coverage is off balance and wrathful. A Picture Does Paint A Thousand Words.

        Blue-Balls is an actual slang term that describes a complex of medical conditions – and for the record, it is possible for a male to “DIE” due to Trauma to the Gonads – rupture of various organs and blood vessels can lead to Clot Formation with the blood clot breaking off, entering the blood stream and causing Cardiac Failure (Cardiac Thrombosis) as well as Pulmonary Embolism and even stroke.

        “Ref: Superficial dorsal penile vein thrombosis (penile Mondor’s disease). International Urology & Nephrology. 28(3):387-91, 1996. Ozkara H. Akkus E. Alici B. Akpinar H. Hattat H .”

        I have even had to deal with males with genital dysfunction issues (Frequent With Diabetes) where medication (Caverject-Alprostadil) has caused Massive Erectile Dysfunction and prolonged engorgement – a medical emergency which can also prove physically damaging and fatal. But no doubt, a guy having to be air lifted from a ship because his Dick has been hard for three days and his life is in danger is just a “Good Snigger Story” – even if it wasn’t for him, or the medics, emergency helicopter crew and all others who grasped his life was in real danger and had to act.

        Isn’t the best thing you can expect from people when they make mistakes is to hear the critique and do better? That’s what we’re trying to do.

        I have made clear before – more than once – that I hate three letter cuss words. “Try” is the just about the worst. It’s never 100% application and it has failure built in – and embedded excuse “We Tried”.

        Try is a word that allows failure to occur and others to be blamed. If you “DO” there are two outcomes – Failure or Success – Both lead to advances and learning. Trying is a defence for Status Quo, and never has value other than to prevent movement away from an entrenched position.

        Try is also used to justify a snapshot perception and then acts as a block to learn wider issues and contributing factors. Trying is never a good thing, as it is more about inertia and not about doing.

    • PS Thank you Eagle for giving us the benefit of the doubt that we were trying to do what’s right.

  12. Misandry is alive n well on the Huffington Post
    ht tp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/28/dentist-pulls-all-exs-teeth-out_n_1461288.html?ref=mostpopular
    “wow! that must have been one hell of a break-up.

    what the heck did that guy DO to her?

    girls, we SO need to take this gal out for a drink and get the dish. 8D ”

    Wheres the female version of manboobz when you need it.

    • Oh man so this story was legit? I first saw this at the Daily Mail a day or so ago but when trying to find it somewhere else all mentions of it I could find pointed back to the Daily Mail.

      And for the record the woman that left him is just as terrible as the ex that did that to him.

      • Yep, she’s very lucky and my only explanation is the prop partially feathered/cluthed cuz a prop at idling speed on most planes I’ve seen would cut skin and bone easy. Usually people lose limbs.

        Someone left him cuz of his teeth?

        • Yeah apparently he left the dentist for another woman and when the dentist got her revenge said other woman left him because she didn’t want to be with a man who had no teeth.

          • The prop comment was about the earlier reported model walking into a plane propeller and living in case people were wondering.

    • So, Archy, I realize you see misandry in both the piece and comments. I think it’s very easy to see misandry or misogyny everywhere. When I saw this piece I did not see misandry, I saw a woman who went off the freaking deep end and acted like a sociopath. I also noted a lot of comments indicating shock and anger at her actions.
      Of course there are always people who will drive by comment negatively about whatever gender, in fact you should see some of the comments here about women and about men that never see the light of day. Believe me, I see what could be termed misogyny here a great deal. And yes, misandry. Or as I like to call them, people lashing out using whatever gender, race, or sexual orientation is available.
      People also use humor to dissolve, deflect shock and fear. Is that good? Probably not, but it happens all the time in real life (gallow’s humor), only online when combined with trolling it’s particularly nasty.
      This woman lost her collective shit. She will never again be able to be a dentist and rightly so. She’s ruined her life over a relationship, and ruined a man’s health/life because of it.
      I don’t think it’s a joking matter as a humanist, but it’s a piece ripe for gallow’s humor. People do this, and even if I find it distasteful, I think it’s “human” that we do it. It’s often less about -andry or -ogeny and more about THAT SHIT WAS FUCKED UP!
      Anyway. My thoughts.

      • Joanna Schroeder says:

        I think Julie’s exactly right.

        “Gallows Humor” is probably the exact right term here to explain why we joke about bizarre, uncomfortable situations like both the dentist and this woman in China.

        • And I think that it may seem out of place on a site like GMP, because we do focus so much on humanist perspectives, but it’s humor (gallows or otherwise) is part of being human. This piece (and a piece like the dentist) touched a nerve and the editors responded quickly and are still responding. I do think opening up the conversation as to why we respond to things is a good thing. Regardless, violence like this is so shocking that I’m not sure we’d all survive it we took it all in seriously. Not excusing humor that offends, just saying I can understand the impulses that drive humans to use comedy to understand, deflect, etc bad situation.

          • Julie – you know that I can have a very dark and edgy humour – I can be very Darth Vader and even total whimsy! Don’t Offence Me In! P^)

            There is the issue here that readers are not able to asses the humour used, as what was deemed or seen as Humour or Bad Taste is not now available to readers. C’est la vie.

            I have had to raise the way to be humerus on dark and difficult subjects Here on GMP before. Humour and diversity does need to be handled with care. It is not out of bounds ( says the G.A.Y., Ethnically Diverse Cripple – Tongue in cheek so hard it hurts).

            I’m happy for there to be black-humour and gallows-humour, and am very naughty in how I use it, but it always has to have a point and bring value to what is being communicated. It subverts and twists to bring a perspective.

            Black Humour is about the situation – Gallows Humour is the person making light of “their” situation. It’s not clear how the OP was making light of his personal situation – as he’s not dead(as far as I know) and there is no indication that he has been subjected to any form of assault involving his genitals.

            Cup Check as a phrase, and Cup Checking as a practice, has been a male issue for some time. It even has overtones of bullying and sexual harassment. Maybe it’s a change in the ethos of locker-room language and etiquette that has still to filter into the main stream? P^)

            Social Change can be Soooo Antisocial! P^)

            • Yes, we’ll have an open thread up about humor very soon!

            • OOhhhh how naughty can we be? P^)

              … but in some ways that will be of little use! As I have said ” There is the issue here that readers are not able to asses the humour used, as what was deemed or seen as Humour or Bad Taste is not now available to readers”.

              Contextualising Humour is as bad as pulling your own teeth with a pair of rusty pliers!

        • There’s a major difference between gallows humor which I do see some comments of and doesn’t bother me much, and the humor of the guy DESERVING it. Doesn’t ANYONE understand this yet? Could you find humor in some woman assaulted and having her genitals destroyed where she dies from the injury though? Let’s say mr magicman has powers where he can crush only the organs he wants to, and so he crushes her ovaries and she dies from it. Is this funny? Or is it only funny when it happens to men?

          I’ve laughed at plenty of shocking things, I’m sure many others do too. I know people have laughed plenty over 9/11 for instance, but the misandry I saw was when people laughed about it happening to a MAN and somehow deserving it for being a man. The comments like I quoted where the blame was on him for doing something wrong, where the girls need to take her out to get the gossip and I’d guess celebrate. That’s a misandrist joke, it may be from shock n horror but it’s one I don’t think should be made in public. Time n place for everything. Could you imagine the shitstorm if men were joking about what a woman did to deserve having her genitals mutilated, or her teeth removed, any violent act of body mutilation (removing teeth is mutilation when it’s against your will, it’s a permanent injury and costly to repair).

      • When I saw this piece I did not see misandry, I saw a woman who went off the freaking deep end and acted like a sociopath. I also noted a lot of comments indicating shock and anger at her actions.
        Just to be clear I don’t think people are seeing misandry in the act itself which you call a “woman who went off the freaking deep end and acted like a sociopath”. To me at least it came into play in the commentary on this woman’s actions. Which would probably be why Archy was mentioning comments on that HuffPo article.

        When there are stories of men who do bizarre but criminal things to women people that try to make light of it are called on it (and there is rarely a shortage of “that’s misogyny!” in that calling either). Contrast that against how when something like this happens the other way around all of a sudden the red light on making light joking about it turns green and gates open.

        People also use humor to dissolve, deflect shock and fear. Is that good? Probably not, but it happens all the time in real life (gallow’s humor), only online when combined with trolling it’s particularly nasty.
        Johanna mentioned this above and even said how this may be a worthwhile topic. I’d be all for it because I really would like to see some discussion on thy it seems to be okay to use humor in this way for some things (like this) but for other things (a man that sexually tortures a woman) is taboo. We can joke a bout Tiger Woods deserving to get beat up by his wife but we can’t joke about well any situation where a woman may not have been abused by her husband but surely had to “do something to warrant it”. (And of course that’s not the only direction the “can/cannot” street flows.)

      • The act wasn’t misandry, just plain fucked up. The misandry was the comments and the huffpo from what I’ve seen has plenty of misogyny and misandry at times. I’ve seen Jezebel women (even editors) joke about hitting their partners, I’ve seen the huff po joke on violence against men, seen the “he deserved it” justifications and all sorts of bullshit in the comments. I see misogyny often called out by men and women but misandry seems to be given much more free reign.

        I understand gallows humor, I’ve laughed at some of the most extreme topics including death of ALL ages, laughed at racism (heaps towards my own cultural background even), sexism, violence etc simply because if I didn’t I’d end up friggen miserable hearing it all. But there is a time an place for all humor and on a site for men who’ve been victims of violence I don’t think it’s a good place at all, you don’t go laughing about rape on sites with rape victims yet people find something different about other forms of violence and how funny it is. I’ve seen kids movies show men being kicked in the nuts, gendered assault yet not a single woman hit in the breasts, kicked in the groin.

        Some topics are taboo such as racism, sexism towards WOMEN, any joke towards children or babies, yet violence against men is treated as a joke. It bothers me especially as I know how much it hurts to be hit in the nuts let alone have them crushed, bothers me that it’s in KIDS movies as a joke, bothers me quite a bit that on a site with male victims it can still be treated as joke.

        Laugh all you want in private people, it’s a coping mechanism. Show shock if you want, even I find it shocking, but be careful with jokes in public places. A little respect for others would go a long way.

        • The act wasn’t misandry, just plain fucked up. The misandry was the comments and the huffpo from what I’ve seen has plenty of misogyny and misandry at times. I’ve seen Jezebel women (even editors) joke about hitting their partners, I’ve seen the huff po joke on violence against men, seen the “he deserved it” justifications and all sorts of bullshit in the comments. I see misogyny often called out by men and women but misandry seems to be given much more free reign.
          Exactly. And this type of behavior gets overlooked meanwhile if Paul Elam so much as says anything that might hint toward supporting violence against women the same people that giggle at those HuffPo and Jezebel piece will cry foul.

          Some topics are taboo such as racism, sexism towards WOMEN, any joke towards children or babies, yet violence against men is treated as a joke. It bothers me especially as I know how much it hurts to be hit in the nuts let alone have them crushed, bothers me that it’s in KIDS movies as a joke, bothers me quite a bit that on a site with male victims it can still be treated as joke.
          Exactly. A guy getting hit in the nuts is worthy of a kids movie award. A women getting hit in lips is worthy of a post on how this shows violence against women is an accepted norm?

    • That woman who pulled out all of his teeth is facing only 3 years in prison?

      And every single comment was congratulating the woman who did it and making fun of the man who is now maimed for life.

      This guy gets his genitals crushed by a woman and an article gets posted (on a men’s website!) making fun of him.

      I don’t know how to not hate women for this type of behavior. I’m trying really hard but I don’t know how.

      • Well, this is probably gonna come out wrong but what the hell. All I see here are mirrors. I see women having been brutalized claiming that ALL MEN are bad. Not true. I see men seeing terrible situations take place and made fun of (men being brutalized) and then not knowing how not to hate all women.

        I see issues polarizing over race (all black people….all white people), I see issues over religion (all Christians….all Muslims) and guess what, not every person is the same.

        If reading about rape, abuse, assault on women and frankly on men doesn’t make me hate all men (which it doesn’t) then I’d challenge you to find ways to not hate all women for the actions of a few.

        And don’t read comment sections, good grief. After doing comment mod, I don’t ever want to read comment sections. People love to talk shit that they don’t mean. Cause they feel like they can. it’s wrong, but people lash out, meanly and without thinking.

        All women don’t hate men. All men don’t hate women. We have to start somewhere.

        • I have to say I really don’t think that’s an effective way to deal with issues like this.

          “I see women having been brutalized claiming that ALL MEN are bad.”

          And pretty much everyone agrees with them. The courts. The media. The politicians. The teachers. ad infinitum

          “I see men seeing terrible situations take place and made fun of (men being brutalized)”

          And no one agrees with us. The courts. The media. The politicians. The teachers. ad infinitum

          Do you see the difference here?

  13. *SIGH.* While I’m sure others find him hilarious, Jamie Reidy’s posts consistently bum me out entirely. Chalk up another one.

  14. its possible to kill a man
    here is a court case where two women killed their husbands
    by squeezing theyre testicles

    http://www.paclii.org//cgi-bin/disp.pl/pg/cases/PGNC/1995/6.html?query=lucy%20moro

  15. wellokaythen says:

    I don’t know what was edited out, but in general I say the site should allow offensive gallows humor and then let the chips fall where they may. Give the commenters a chance to debate the offensiveness of an article, or at least give the original author a chance to revise it upon request.

    I’m guessing that the offending language was not an ad hominem attack or libelous against a particular individual or any one of those highly specific no-no’s in the official moderation policy. If the language showed an egregious lack of empathy, then I say let the commenters take note of it.

    It’s always going to be a judgment call, and it’s always a delicate balancing act, but I would tend to err on the side of allowing the possibility of offending people.

  16. aparently this aint new. two women in pap new guinea killed theyre hubbies by squeezing theyre (you know what)
    http://www.paclii.org//cgi-bin/disp.pl/pg/cases/PGNC/1995/6.html?query=lucy%20moro

  17. I never did understand why people think that harming or crushing a man’s testicle is so damn funny. If a woman attempted to grab my balls during an altercation, I can reassure you that all inhibition that she is a woman will be forgotten and I’ll basically defend myself as if I were fighting a man. Women should never mess around with mans junk unless of course you are pleasuring him otherwise I can reassure you that you will be swallowing your own got damn teeth.

  18. John Schtoll says:

    To look for the double standard. Look at the View, the episode where the hosts had fun of the guy who had his penis cut off and put in the trash compactor. Look it up on youtube under View makes fun of man

    Now afer viewing that ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: What if an all male show had made the exact same jokes about the woman who had her breasts cut off in the aircraft accident. Do you honestly think that show would still be on the air. Now also consider the “APOLOGY” issued by Sharon Osborne, she couldn’t contain her laughter during the “APOLOGY”.

Trackbacks

  1. […] This is a comment by Jimmy on the post “Cup Check: Woman Crushes Man’s Testicles Resulting in Death“. […]

  2. […] Cup Check: Woman Crushes Man’s Testicles Resulting in Death …Apr 28, 2012 … Jamie Reidy comments on a woman’s killing a man by crushing his testicles with her hand. HuffPo’s Harry Tuttle reports that a woman in China … […]

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