If we are to demand equality of the sexes, then we must demand better for women AND men.
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Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays are holy days. From September to February, football is the omnipotent ruler of our home. My partner and I surround ourselves with fantasy line-ups, healthy rivalries, and over-priced jerseys. It’s our Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, all rolled into 16 + games of sweaty, physical, strategic perfection.
And while I understand, all too well, the culture that surrounds the NFL and football fans, I’m growing tired of one “inside joke” in particular.
It isn’t the “silly girl, this is a man’s game” sentiment. It isn’t the over-eager league, desperate to recover from scandal after horrific scandal. In fact, it doesn’t have anything to do with the NFL at all.
It’s Direct TV.
During timeslots and channels that cater to the sport-loving super fan, Direct TV has decided shaming men with small arms or skinny legs is a hilarious, appropriate way to market their product. A “normal” looking celebrity or professional athlete is juxtaposed with a “skinny arm” or “skinny legged” version, representing the “lesser” of two men and, subsequently, the superiority of Direct TV to cable.
Effective? Maybe. I’m not a Direct TV executive, so I have no idea how their product sales are doing since running these particular ads.
But I do know many men who don’t fit the stereotypical body type Direct TV is peddling as superior. I know that in the middle of a game they were otherwise enjoying, they’re forced to feel the very real warmth of embarrassment as their body type is being criticized. I know that they put on a smile and take a big swig of their beer, refusing to voice their frustration because they’re “men” and “men’s bodies can’t be shamed”.
And while I sit and watch my dear friends’ reactions during this commercial, I can’t help but think of what would happen if it was a woman’s body being shamed instead of a man’s. If there was a Direct TV ad in which a skinny, stereotypical “pretty” girl was Direct TV, and a larger, heavy-set woman was cable. Would that be allowed on the air? Would that be a strategic marketing tool, used to sell hours upon hours of television?
While I sit and watch my dear friends’ hide their insecurities, I can’t help but think of my one-year-old son. Will he hold himself to an unrealistic standard? Will he only think himself a man if he can bench a certain amount or do so many sit ups? Will he, one day, be enjoying a Sunday afternoon watching his favorite sport, only to be bombarded with a cruel reminder that his body doesn’t fit a fictitious societal standard of manliness? Or worse, will he buy into this vision of masculinity and harm himself when attempting to attain it?
While I sit and watch my dear friend’s pretend they aren’t hurt because “that’s just what you do”, I wonder if those who fight for equality of the sexes will be quick to disapprove of this marketing ploy. If we want men and women to be treated with the same respect, then we must demand the same amount of respect for both. It feels wrong, to demand body positivity for women but not for men. It feels hypocritical, to tell our girls that they’re beautiful at any size, only to tell our boys’ that if they don’t look like He-Man, they’re not men.
I understand, all too well, the culture that surrounds the NFL and football fans. Perhaps that is why Direct TV feels like these ads, and the body shaming they perpetuate, are appropriate.
But they aren’t.
And if we are to demand equality of the sexes, then we must demand better for women AND men. We need to realize that yes, while privileged, men are still held to a fictitious body standard that’s used to symbolize strength and masculinity. A body standard that can be dangerous physically, and mentally.
Because whether you look like J.J. Watt or Skinny Arms Rob Lowe, you should be able to enjoy16 + games of sweaty, physical, strategic perfection, without being made to feel like there’s something wrong with your body.
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Photo: Getty Images