Liskula Cohen asks an important question: Why do we think it’s okay to body shame men?
It’s hard to argue that we don’t derive a sadistic enjoyment of male sexual humiliation. Prison rape is treated in comedy as a punchline instead of an atrocity; lazy kids’ comedies rely on the trope of a man being injured in the groin as a go-to sight gag; and when studies reveal that men throughout the world suffer from a serious body image disorder, we poke fun at their vanity.
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This was the thought that occurred to me as I – like virtually everyone else who regularly uses the Internet – was bombarded with articles about penis size. Some address serious subjects, like homophobic preconceptions about gay penis sizes; others liked to compare average lengths from every country in the world; one piece offered readers an ability to catch a man in the dastardly deed of lying about his penis size; and a pair of others tried to reassure men that, with rare exceptions, 96% of the male population has a penis between five and six inches in length… so no worries there!
While there are plenty of articles that shame women about their appearance, thankfully feminists have made some progress in identifying this as a problem. Meanwhile, I’ve known women who without shame have relentlessly ridiculed their male partners for their small penises (even though most women can orgasm entirely on their own – i.e., without a penis entirely), not realizing that this is every bit as much a form of emotional abuse as if a man tormented his girlfriend or wife about her weight.
The Internet seems to be catering to mindless teenagers. We seem to have lost sight of the simple fact that concerns about penis size are asinine and stupid. Even as we focus so much on body shaming women and how that is wrong, people don’t bat an eye at body shaming men.
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The Internet seems to be catering to mindless teenagers. We seem to have lost sight of the simple fact that concerns about penis size are asinine and stupid. Even as we focus so much on body shaming women and how that is wrong, people don’t bat an eye at body shaming men.
It’s important to note that there are men with abnormally small penises who are suffering from a medical condition called micropenis. When this is the case, the problem isn’t simply that they aren’t “man enough” or can’t satisfy a woman; there are fundamental functional issues that impair their ability to lead normal lives. For these men, they should seek medical attention, because there are options out there that can help them.
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Men need to stop thinking it’s okay to mock one another over their perceived masculinity or lack thereof. If we truly want gender equality to become a reality, we need to protect men from body image abuse just as much as we do women.
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People don’t think that men have the same body image issues that women do. I found out years after the fact that a man I knew very well had suffered from an eating disorder as a teenager. He would eat ice cream after every meal because, he told me, that it made it easier for him to vomit. This man was athletic, popular, and successful – yet growing up, the man we considered the “stud” was desperately insecure. So when the media criticizes women’s body image issues and then transitions to mocking men, it perpetuates the problem by switching the victim.
As a woman, size doesn’t matter. If you’re having intercourse with someone because you’re physically, intellectual, and emotionally attracted to them, the size of the penis isn’t going to make any difference in how you feel. Besides, the majority of woman can squeeze out a six pound baby, so in the grand scheme of things, she isn’t going to be terribly focused on the difference between a five-inch penis and a six-inch one. Any woman – or, for that matter, any man – who is worth having in a relationship isn’t going to care about the size, shape, or color of your various body parts.
As for other men… Well, just like women need to stop tearing each other down based on body image issues (and believe me, an article on that is coming soon), so too do men need to stop thinking it’s okay to mock one another over their perceived masculinity or lack thereof. If we truly want gender equality to become a reality, we need to protect men from body image abuse just as much as we do women.
Pic: Flickr – “Man in a Mirror”/Daniel
It just doesn’t even register for me how you could be so clueless and ignorant to not know that mocking a man’s penis is offensive and ridiculous. Why would you especially do this to your own partner? How many men experience a partner mocking their bodies like this? Unfortunately, our society is obessed with larger-than-life sexual organs. Even though bigger sexual organs on any human being doesn’t equate to more pleasure. I know a lot of women who aren’t obsessed with penis size and even desire a man whose penis will simply be compatible with her body – meaning it… Read more »
Good points Erin. Frankly this article feels flat to me. Almost like the authors wanted to be be able to address male body image issues but were afraid to out of fear of being accused of ignoring female body image issues. Or more of an internal decision that they would draw the line at anything that took the spot light off of female body image issues considering how much they come up in this article. You’d be hard pressed to find an article that talks about male body image issues without any mention of female body image issues. But to… Read more »
Thank you Erin,
I get the impression that the whole article is written by someone who just (at some reasonable adult age?) had some kind of revelation and discovered that “Hey! Men have issues too!” And then proceeded to instantly write an article about the first thing that sprang(!) to mind, without actually thinking it through.
Also, who says that male body issues, and mocking thereof, only regards penis size?
http://www.iamnotthebabysitter.com/ouch-you-bent-my-wiener-one-man-speaks-out-about-male-body-image-kind-of/
A funny take on the subject… with content.
I don’t know.
Men are mostly just lumpy, hairy and strange-looking, especially their genital parts, and while some (odd) women may love us because of our looks, more often than not they occasionally grow some kind of fondness for us despite of how we look.
I’m sorry to rain on your parade, maybe I’ve just been the butt end of too many jokes and less-than-cordial rejections, but I can’t see the funny in it.
Women are just round and hairy and strange-looking… until they shave their whole bodies, diet, start doing Pilates, apply body lotion to firm and whatnot. Keep a cute hair, do their nails, shave their mustaches and fic their eyebrows. Because they know men prefer it, and they like to please.
And men take all of that for granted and don’t want to reciprocate.
What a silly thing to say, just because you, a heterosexual male does not find the male body sexy does not mean women or other men don’t. Don’t project your preferences and ideals of sexy on us. I am a homosexual male, I didn’t become that way because I ”grew a fondness” for someone who happened to be male. I am homosexual because the female body does absolutely nothing for me. Male bodies on the other hand. I love the shape, I love the musculature of the thighs, calves, back and everything else vs the often thick but shapeless thighs… Read more »
I see a real attack on men on many areas of our world today. There are no “men’s support groups” or the equivalent of feminism to stand up and protect men from relentless attacks on their masculinity. Even though men have higher rates of suicide, mental illness and seem to fall behind in school, no one pays much attention. Please continue to write articles like this one
Because what”Divided Lines” said above. “we are not people, we are utilities”. Like for a man is just that, very disposable and certainly not at all valued. Just look at family courts world wide.
Because no one cares about the way men look and neither should them. When you’re a man the only thing that will be influenced by your looks is your chance of getting laid and even with that there are ways around it. It seems really pointless to me adressing these kinds of topics because you’re just trying to create problems where they don’t exist and victimize yourselves to get attention and the real problems are never adressed. Being white and being a man makes you the apex predator of our society so don’t throw yourself a pity party, own it… Read more »
You are very whiny and ridiculous and nothing you’ve written has any basis in fact.
As a man who has been fat all his life, I can tell you that men’s looks matters A LOT. But it would take you to have something called empathy to understand that women aren’t the only ones in life who get a tough time over their looks and other attributes. The grass isn’t greener for men, it’s just a different type of grass.
Wow Sara. You think you know all men? While I do agree, women probably experience body shame more so than men, it does still exist with men. I know quite a few men that are very insecure about their body and their appearance. Even I do on occasion. I even know a few guys who have suffered bulimia and who have starved themselves to stay thin. (Yes there are men that struggle with bulimia.) This is a big issue, especially for gay men, (your comment seems to address only straight men,) but gay men are men too, and there is… Read more »
We body shame men for the same reason we employment and virgin shame them. It’s the same reason we make jokes about prison rape and laugh about a woman sexually mutilating her husband and throwing his penis in a garbage disposal. It’s the same reason we ignore a 30% rise in male suicides among older men in a single decade or the fact that men are 3 times as likely to die by violence as women. Men aren’t people, they’re utilities.
They are the real victims, uh?
Yes, “we” are all making prison rape jokes and laughing about women mutilating their husbands, indeed. Women mostly never make those types of jokes.
Men have all the freedom to talk about suicide and the violence they suffer in the hands of other men. go for it.
THIS! 100% all day long. Amen. Especially the last sentence. Well said sir.
I was responding to Divided Lines, not the out of touch, weakest argument, Lola