Pain, humiliation, and compression shorts: Being well-endowed ain’t as pretty as it looks.
I’ve got a big penis. This is my tale of woe.
I lost my virginity to my high school girlfriend, Claire. She had amazing skin and wild blonde hair. She also had a friend, Anna, who had a problem with us dating and made it her mission to harass me. I don’t remember how sex felt that first time, whether I came, or how long it lasted. I do remember being made fun of for the size of my penis a few days later.
Only a teenage girl could turn that revelation into a source of shame and embarrassment. Anna sauntered up to my lunch table where I sat, witless and surrounded by friends. “So, Charlie,” Anna announced to the table, “Claire was just telling us you’ve got a big cock!”
Our culture is built on the notion that bigger is better, and (depending on who your analyst is) the male reproductive organ is the root of it all. There are very few negative stereotypes associated with a sizable schlong. A large cock confers unflappable confidence in life. Sexual prowess is no problem for the well-endowed man; just a glimpse of his tumescence will send women everywhere into orgasmic fits.
Of course, the reality’s very different.
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The most immediate problems are anatomical. On a personal level, the circumference of my head while erect slightly exceeds the comfortable limits of my foreskin. That’s most inconvenient when masturbating, as the skin gets pulled up and down on the head to varying degrees. During colder months, when my skin is dryer, I’ve masturbated my way to tiny lacerations around the edge of my foreskin.
During sexytime, I need to be on guard. A misdirected thrust can end congress for the night. Even just easing my entire penis into a vagina has caused the not-sexy kind of pain. I’ve also been told, without any preamble, that anal sex would never be on the menu. It wasn’t a huge blow. But to my hung brothers with posterior proclivities, I sympathize.
Then there are the accessories. If compression shorts cost as little as cotton briefs, I’d be wrapping up tight every day. Bouncy bouncy, fellas! Speaking of wraps, condoms pinch like Houdini’s handcuffs. Sure, normal-sized guys also complain about them, but I’m guessing that putting them on and taking them off isn’t supposed to actually hurt like it does. I also suspect that the pain and constriction contributes to my tendency to … overstay my welcome at times.
So: Magnums. Two hang-ups consistently prevent me from picking them up. A girlfriend suggested them numerous times when I complained about the pinch, but I was afraid Magnums would be too big—and that she’d be disappointed and/or turned off to find that her man wasn’t as big as she thought.
The second reason is that I simply do not want to be That Guy.
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That Guy is my biggest problem with my biggest digit. All of those wonderful huge-dick stereotypes don’t apply unless everyone knows your big secret—and that’s just not going to happen. There is no casual way to spread the word that you’ve got a plus-size penis. Any attempt to disseminate information regarding your Richard will—nay, must—be met with skepticism, pity, and annoyance. At best people will assume you’re lying; at worst they’ll believe you and think you’re bragging. You look like a tool either way.
So, of course, I’m constantly tempted to be naked at inappropriate moments. I’ll convince myself that whipping it out is the end-all-be-all answer to certain problems. When my self-esteem takes a hit, it hides between my legs. Get turned down for coffee? If only she’d known about the stir-stick. How impressive is that guy’s six-pack? I bet he’s only got a six-inch.
Denying my atavistic urges creates a lot of stress. Even if someone finds out in the most ideal way—having sex with me—I get weirded out if she says anything about my cock outside of coitus. At my craziest, I fear that hearing it too many times will subconsciously turn me into a man content to let his fairer attributes wither away, left with the unearned sense of entitlement a titanic trouser trunk bestows.
In my day-to-day, I get by pretty well. I take time to get to know my partners inside and out before going Dirk Diggler on them. My underpants are supportive and affordable. I’ve learned to limit my onanism. I have even learned to accept compliments gracefully.
Looking at it this way I can appreciate how my penis has helped me. I’m more self-aware than I’d be if I’d been graced with an average member. In all honesty, I don’t hate my big penis. I just hate what having a big penis means to everyone else.
(Photo via K0P)
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More from Sex Week at the Good Men Project:
Vocalyze
Got some advice, big guy: Ditch the bitch and make the switch. You’ll never spend a night alone.
Ok, that is funny…no, it’s HILARIOUS! I shall borrow this joke.
Was the sexist language necessary?
My penis is 3″ long when fully erect, and the girth is just as much a joke! So all I can say to you Mr. Giant Dong is you think you got it bad?!?! You might have felt embarrassed that a girl made fun of how big your cock is, but you can never imagine the humiliation I felt when my ex-gf’s best friend told me I was dumped because of how small my pecker is! Confidence out the window!
Eek! Sorry about your dong, Pong. I’ve been reading these articles/blogs because I am trying to see where my toolman stands when he…well…stands. The general consensus of it all is that it is not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean that really counts.
If anything, be a master of the tounge….
After that, there won’t be a window big enough (or a reason) for your confidence to be thrown out of it. =)
Ah the old “size vs motion” meme—to be honest, that’s what we women say when pressed for comment. It kind of parallels with the “Does this dress make me look fat?” thing…it’s a loaded question, and penis size is an unfair discussion in mixed company, because women get that it’s not ok to speak the truth and risk hurting others in the group/room about it.
But it’s not what we want or mean in our hearts. I do not know a single women who would agree with it, and believe me, we share enough to make your gyno blush.
Within a general range, it might apply, but in truth, every woman has her own perfect size range, and outside of that, it’s just not the same. Too small is too small, and too big is too big…it’s kind of a crucial aspect to the mechanics of coitus, and it always feels loaded when these discussions come up.
Wow, only 3 inches hard? Have you ever thought of shaving all of your body hair off and marketing yourself as a submissive little boy who will never be a man? Just trying to be helpful here.
I completely understand your frustration, Pong. My penis is barely 3.5″ when erect.
I guess it is what it is, given our Asian persuasion.
I’m sensing that Ping and Pong might be fake. Or at least – Ping is. I mean, c’mon.
As far as this subject goes, Señor Charlie, I see the difficulties of your salami issues. I get that it is a serving for 2 (even 3) but you gain little sympathy. Mr. Pong has it a bit tougher. =)
PS: Are you sure that friend of your HS girlfriend didn’t want you to stick it to her? Just saying. =)
Do you have to hold your dick up when using a toilet to keep said digit from dipping into the water or sliding against the inside of the bowl?
Ah Ah Ah, that’s funny!
Oh my, that sounds cumbersome…love the last lines the best…
I think I’ve commented previously on the topic of size…but guys, big or small, when you have a mutual love or care for the person with whom you’re sleeping, you will find a way to make it work, regardless of too big or too small.
Note to both Charles and Pong: for every size man, there is an equally equipped woman. Some are big enough to accomodate, some can only accomodate a very small amount. Have some fun finding your match!
Not sure if first reply went through, but thank you…
To you, Mr. Charlie, let me say, on behalf of all us “average” guys quite frankly, that I honestly have ZERO sympathy for you. I’m sorry, but someone finally needs to stand up and admit that they are tired of highly endowed men blubbering the “oh i wish i was normal wah-wah-wah” thing. Its really getting old to me. I am of average size (7 inches erect) and have been that way since i was a teen. I used to look down at it with a bit of pride I’ll admit, but still used to wish that it would get a lil bigger by the time i was in my 20′s. Im 23, and its not gonna get any bigger, and I’ve resigned to that fact. But let me tell you, it is the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard, to be patronized by guys with huge members. Give me a break. Thats like millionaires telling poor people how much they wish they had it like them. I’ve done countless hours of online reading, as well as general guy talk (or rather, listening to what other guys are saying when they’re not being judged), and the consesus is that guys like me, who are 7 inches, are extremely common. I thought mine was at least a little on the “above-average” side, but as it turns out, it is just that-average. EVERY SINGLE guy I know that’s my age is also packing a LEAST 7 inches, most of them are around 8. Even my wife has met a few bigs one before she met me. And suddenly, Im not so special anymore. Confidence, say goodbye. But when I guy who can drop jaws with his presence comes along and acts like I got it better, please. I’d kill to be that guy, if for nothing else for the sheer confidence alone. I’m sorry to attack you like this, but enough is enough. Be grateful or get it chopped off-choice is yours. Either way, stop bitching.
Thumbs up if you agree.
A guy with 7 inches is jealous? Get. Over. It.
I’m in the same boat as SomeGuy and I agree completely with what he’s saying. Girls/Women like big cocks. You all can talk about love and talent all you want but a guy with a large schlong has an advantage. I’ve been called “adequate” which basically means I’m not going to break up with you b/c your penis is too small, but I’ve seen/been with bigger and I liked it. Someguy be glad to at least be big enough.
I agree that the complaints of a big penis get old, but I would MUCH rather have average, not big. And 7 inches average? All the guys you know much be full of shit. Average is just under 6 inches. I forget the stats for 7 inches, but only about 3% of guys have a 8″ or bigger penis. I believe 7 inches was around 20%.
And yes, anything bigger than about 7 is never going in my rear. Even “regular” sex is painful for me with a guy even slightly above average. So, in short, you can quit whining too while you’re at it. Some women want it huge, others (like me) prefer it around 5-6 inches.
Grr! *must be full of shit.
Little tired and typing with a wrist brace.
I hate you and your giant dick .. lol
Sorry, this story doesn’t ring true. Big dick or small, anyone can have insecurities about it. Anyone can want their bad boy to be a different size. I’m sure that size can make sex unpleasant. But to have opposite insecurities in the same breath–that it might be too small for Magnum condoms, and yet too big for anal sex? Doesn’t ring true.
This sounds like typical magazine article “let’s talk about all the things we can worry about” boilerplate.
Also, for your information, Magnums are not that much bigger than regular condoms. Look it up, the facts are out there.
Being the wife of a well endowed man I really enjoyed this article. So many comments rang true as well the well endowed has it’s issues as does the not so well endowed but I am a woman and I will say that i disagree with Elizabeth a little. Having been with men of many sizes and talents, it is not all about the size. If you don’t’ know what you are doing or are not confident in that knowledge the size of your member doesn’t make a difference… It’s not gonna fuck on it’s own — it needs direction and assistance from your ten fingers, your tongue and your mind.
We have been with a few girls that grumbled a bit at the size of my husband but I simply told them to embrace the big penis or get out of my way so i can
i thought oral and anal would be an issue but he is very gentle and patient and we have worked the anal treat for him into our playtime often enough that I actually enjoy it now. (the oral was not as much of an issue as i thought it would be – -guess i got a big mouth lol)
This was a good read – I’ve shared it on twitter
)
I agree you definitely have to have some talent, but you have to have some size to go with it. If you have talent and size you are at a huge advantage.
For me I don’t really enjoy a larger penis. I will say it’s nice to look at but when it comes to getting down to business give me mr. average who knows how to use it. There area couple things I found with my boyfriends who had bigger penises. They tended to think their size made up for a lack of trying to please me, as if just being penetrated by their large member should be enough. They also tended to be less willing to perform cunnilingus. I am not saying this is the case with every well hung male, just my experience with them. The average men all seemed to think they had to go above and beyond to prove themselves in bed. So maybe this whole large penis thing really works out for us women in the end.
I did recently read a article about this that is worth a read for you men out there who think you have less to offer due to an average or below average penis.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/article_sex_penis_size.htm
THIS COLUM IS TOTALLY BOGUS!! In fact , I think it was actually written by a woman pretending to be a man. Look, my best friend in my late teens and early twenties was “Hung”. In high school he had more girls wanting to “check him out” (a couple of teachers too!). When we graduated school and went out into the world, it got even crazier for him. While the rest of us tried every gimmick that was” Gaurented to get you girls”, he’d “hook up” with one, she’d tell all her friends,and the next thing you know, he”d have all these women stalking him. Not that it did the rest of us any good (they didn’t want a ride in a Honda, they wanted to ride the “stretch limo”). I guess you could say the only “curse of his endowment” is that with all these women chasing him, he really couldn’ be faithful to his girl. Although, she did keep forgiving him and taking him back. I mean after all, how was she going to replace that cannon.
I can understand some of what this guys is saying. I too am well hung. In high school it was a bit of an embarrassment. Only because I was hard all the time! I remember guys on the swim team would stare at my wiener when I was dressing and that was embarrassing. However, no one said anything out loud. Plus, I was too afraid to check out their package so I did not even know how well hung I was. I also caught a student teacher staring at my bone while I was taking a test.
Bottom line though…there isn’t a guy on the planet that doesn’t want an even bigger dick. So his BS about not wanting to try on a Magnum…come on. That was the first thing I did, hoping it would be tight…and it was.
I hear all the time: “oh, I couldn’t possibly take you.” With enough oral stimulation everyone is willing to give it a shot and I have never had anyone make me stop because I was too big. You just have to go slow and make sure they are enjoying themselves. You also never slam a huge cock into someone unless you like damaging them internally.
The only downside to being really well endowed is that often it feels like the only thing anyone wants you for is your cock. The question I had to ask myself was if it was my fault. At first my size was the most important thing. As I grew older I learned to really get to know someone before dipping my wick. It doesn’t mean that the first few dates were not because of the stories of how hung I am. However, I have learned that once I get to know someone, often times I do not want to sleep with them.
It’s the male version of the girl with big tits.
@MrBiggerThanBig said: “It’s the male version of the girl with big tits.”
), though, and sometimes it’s a limit (anal, no letting go and thrust wildly…).
Yep, yours is the best comment so far.
Most men love big tits, and most women would like having them… but that doesn’t mean that having huge boobs comes without issues.
I’m well endowed as well, and I’m grateful!
It has never got me any more girlfriends (as Charlie said, how could you “spread the gospel”?
But I’m not complaining, honest.
I can’t believe they recycled this BOGUS colum with a new title. What is this supposed to make all us “average/normal” sized guys feel better about ourselves? You just don’t get it. It’s not the fact that we’re not the “biggest” guy on the block that bothers us. It’s all the double talk and outright lies that do it. To all you women with “average/normal” size guys I purpose a hypotheticial event. Let’s say that a cosmic event occurs and it causes all “average/normal” size men(oh hell, let’s include some below”normal average size guys too) to gain 1-2″ in length and lets say 25% or so in girth. Now, all you women that would be upset and angered by this event, please raise your hands. Anyone? Anyone at all? Somehow I didn’t think so.
Haha. Yes, I would be, actually. At the moment, my husband can go wild and it hurts in the good way. It hurts, but it isn’t incredibly painful. If he added another inch or two it would go to the point of not being pleasurable pain anymore. I’d choose 5.5″ over 7″ any day. But that’s just me.
hey
i actually kinda stumbled upon this site. i’m glad i did though. I really like the content here, and i will also bookmark it and add your RSS feed so i can keep in touch.
thanks, Eric
Size matters!! I need a big one that fills me up!!!
You guys are whiny. You should give them to more deserving girls!
Mein ding dong ist only 8 cm but she loves to me when I poop der big 24 cm on her tits. Das ist doch alles Scheiße!
If you want to see the final word on this, goggle “Womens Preferred Penis Size Chart”. Guys, just a warning, you might be bummed out