Phil Askew fuels his own growth by wanting to know and understand what it means to be a man.
I have a passion for understanding what it means to be a ‘man’. My personal evolution and growth is driven by the desire to know and feel this in my bones.
I am captivated by stories and myths that shed light on the shadow of misunderstood masculinity and reveal truths maybe long since forgotten.
It can be very difficult to know how exactly to be man. How to exist, no, more than that, how to THRIVE as a modern male. One who isn’t afraid of his truth. His power and his vulnerability.
There is a myth that deep in a forrest at the bottom of a lake lives the ‘wild man’. People in local villages were scared of him, women feared letting their sons venture into the forrest for many were never seen again, men also frightened of what lived out there, avoided the dark, the unknown. They stayed away and yet, they were intrigued, they felt drawn and the sense of adventure constantly called men forth, very few responded to the call, they feared looking foolish to the other villagers.
The wild man lives in all men. He lays dormant mostly, through suppression, through fear, through being told you can’t do that, good boys act in this way. The maternal smothering can envelop, paternal absence or fear can confuse. From when we are young, the pressure to be what others dictate and accept, begin to win and a numbness creeps into our bellies. The male fire dims to become a smoulder.
The name might insinuate that the wild man is a neanderthal, rudimentary character. Far from it. He bestows upon and awakens man to: instinct, intuition, sensuality, emotion, deep intimacy, the wild man possesses great wisdom through listening to nature and recognising himself there. He is not afraid of his power, his rage and fury, the animal within, he embraces it.
I don’t claim to own my wild man yet fully, maybe I never will entirely, we’ve met numerous times, we are acquainted. Awareness of him is the first step. Inclusion comes fully when you walk into your own forest and you stay… In spite of the fear and the unknown.
When you vocalise what your urges tell you, when you act with courage even if it means you cry. You stand raw, naked fierce and howl at the sky.
The wild man is looking in the mirror and accepting what your heart tells you. The reflection that looks back at you is true in nature.
If you are a man, I urge you to look to your soul and spend time around the fire with who you find there. He is not your father, nor a God, he is a vital teacher and powerful ally in this journey of living the best man you can be.
The world needs you now more than ever brother.
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Recommended reading:
Iron John -Robert Bly,
Way of the Superior Man -David Deida.
King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the archetypes
of the Mature Masculine.
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If you really want to step up and choose a path untrodden, come and join us for our three day workshop: Men’s Fundamentals. Find out more at mensfundamentals.com
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Photo by Cpt_Hun / Flickr
Thank you for being dedicated to being a good man and embracing your dark side, and for teaching other men the same.
Discivered Robert Bly in university and Iron John has stuck with me since. Love this topic awooooo
Hi Phil, beautifully done! I agree with you on the need to discover the “wild” side that holds the key to a balanced and integrated self. In the last three years, my inner work quest led me to the discovery and integration of my wild side which I had disavowed for most of my life. I have read Robert Bly’s book and find it to be revealing and insightful. I can also see why people would react to some of the ideas expressed, especially when one looks at the preponderance of cases of abuses of all kinds. I love the… Read more »
Love it! I think finding the wildman and understanding his value will be key for men now. Currently they belive he and everything that resembles him is evil.
Hey Erik, thanks for the comment. And, I agree unleashing the wild in his pure and dare I say ‘clean’ energetic form is so important to us as men. Disposing of the ‘boy psychology’ reactive facade and growing up so to speak is so key, particularly at this time in history. Time for change!