Beginning today, we will be rewarding the best comment of each day with a little time in the spotlight. We are a conversation, after all, and you guys are as much a part of that as any of us. We’ve had some pieces that have sparked great dialogue, and others that didn’t generate as much conversation as we’d like, but there’s one topic that’s never failed: porn.
Porn gets people riled up and typing away, and Erin is one of our most thoughtful and outspoken recent commenters on the topic. For that, she’s the inaugural recipient of our Good Comment of the Day.
On “Stripper Rehab,” Erin spoke against the exploitative effects porn is having on boys and girls across the country:
It’s of course natural for men to find women beautiful and sexual. What isn’t so natural is how women are depicted through media and how often it’s shoved out there making it normalized. And the sad thing is that you have more young people growing up on porn—like never before. Boys who will wonder why their girlfriends don’t have cantaloupe breasts and girls who will wonder what’s wrong with their very real and natural breasts. And while there is a lot of sexual exploitation of women out there, there is must as much emotional exploitation of men will grow up not knowing how to really relate to women in an authentic and honest way because their only experience is with their hand and computer. But I am glad there are men out there talking about this, being honest about it and truly trying to be good men. We totally need that!
She followed that up with some insight on the situation presented in “The Professional”:
Men’s sexual nature is not violent or sadistic. But a lot of our seedier sexual media displays that cater to male urges are often portrayed as over the top dominating and slightly sadistic. And I don’t feel all warm and fuzzy because men (married or not) hired a woman and actually wanted her to orgasm. That orgasm is still all about him. Not to mention the number of married or committed men that do these kinds behind their woman’s back all the time, while girls like the one in the article try to give warm, fuzzy speeches about how good these men are because they wanted to know what her favorite color was and wanted to make her orgasm.
Erin’s passionate about her beliefs, but she still makes a point to acknowledge the other side of the coin. In both cases, she lets us know men and women ought to act, but then goes on to talk about how societal influences are messing that up. She’s ardent but open-minded, and that’s how we want all of our discussions to be.
Cheers, Erin! And to everyone else, don’t forget to comment. Why pass on the chance to see your name up in virtual, blogtastic lights?
While I respect Erin’s opinions and I know she is well-meaned, I find she’s usually one-sided – like many feminists these days. We all know media are misleading, but that is true for both men AND women: a boy may wonder why his girlfriend doesn’t have “cantaloupe breasts”, just like a girl may complain that his boyfriend isn’t as good-looking as Matthew McConaughey or as charming as George Clooney or as sexy as Brad Pitt. 😉 OTOH, should this people be able to tell apart reality from fantasies, or are media the only one to blame? This one-sided attitude sounds… Read more »
It is probably one of the great long lived tactics of long lived relationships not to tell your partner that they aren’t the porn/movie star ideal of your dreams. They know that unless they are entirely delusional. We usually try to own our own authenticity while maintaining some level of honor for our partner, or we should. We all age. We all smell funny sometimes, gain or lose too much weight. We can but try to reach a “lover” ideal while also loving, or (I think) we should. After all, the porn star/movie star will likely never be in our… Read more »
@Julie Gillis: “not to tell your partner that…” Of course, I didn’t mean we have to shout out loud what we think all the time. 😀 I don’t go around telling people about their defects; rather, I love giving compliments and making people feel good about themselves (I’m quite good at finding beauty everywhere). And I totally agree with you about loving the person we have beside us, just as s/he is. I even find bodily imperfections charming. 🙂 The problem with the people I was talking about, is that they would like us not even THINK those things. It’s… Read more »
unfortuantly in some cases LOL