Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa and any other holiday you and yours honor and celebrate. It’s late December, it’s cold outside and decorations are flickering so you know what that means? Holiday movies!
Let’s start with the internet’s favorite tradition this time of year: debating what is considered the “best Christmas movie” and whether or not “Die Hard” (released in July of 1988) is one of them.
Yougov.com recently did a poll that found that 56 percent of cinematically misguided Americans do not think that “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie. Shame! What is an even more depressing stat is that 14 percent of deprived respondents voted “Not familiar with ‘Die Hard.’” What is this country coming to?!
Not taking this lying down, I published my own “scientific” poll in this country’s most trusted source: Facebook.
All eight respondents voted that yes, indeed, “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie. Case closed!
Even 20th Century Fox know what they’ve got, as is evidence in their recently re-cut trailer:
For those wondering, even though it also takes place during Christmas time, “Die Hard 2: Die Harder” (1990) is not a Christmas movie, because it stinks.
MY FIRST TIME: A CHRISTMAS STORY
This week I purchased and watched for the first time many people’s favorite Christmas movie: “A Christmas Story.” Ok, so it took me a few dozen years. Stop judging.
I’m always fascinated how adult audiences will view a film that a lot of us grew up with, watched a million times and consider “a classic.” I do this with “The Goonies” (1985), and am appalled when any grown adult doesn’t find it to be on par with “Citizen Kane” or “Lawrence of Arabia” after watching it for the first time.
The narration on “A Christmas Story” was distracting to me for the first 45 minutes, but I settled in to it. The Leg Lamp sequence is hysterical, and it’s nice to see that a man can love an inanimate object so much. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?
One thing I did like was the family bond. A lot of films (especially films that take place in the 1940’s) will have a stern, distant (or distantly stern) father figure. Both of these parents loved their children. The dad may have been a bit eccentric, but he loved his kids. This aspect of the movie was wonderful to me and I did enjoy the film. It might take about twenty more annual holiday viewings to put on my Christmas classics list, but it’s off to a strong start.
I’ll also never look at Santa Claus the same way.
PUT ON SOME CLASSICAL
Understandably, many will reach for (or stream) two of the most revered holiday classics: “It’s A Wonderful Life “ (1946) and “White Christmas” (1954). The former (which strangely came out two weeks AFTER Christmas) because Jimmy Stewart is a cinematic treasure and the story of the downtrodden teaching the meaning of giving seems apropos for currant times, and the latter because people seem to like being sung to. I prefer “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
SILENT (DARK) KNIGHT
Recent online articles have tried to paint 1992’s “Batman Returns” as a Christmas movie, based on the time of year it takes place. While the maligned film has added to its fanbase in recent years, I wouldn’t go that far. While I have always been a fan of Tim Burton’s misunderstood vision in this sequel, it’s a stretch to call it a Batman film (the hero barely appears), let alone a Christmas one.
TIME FOR A VACATION
Ultimately we all go back to the holiday films we grew up with. As a child of the 1980’s I lean heavily into “Scrooged” (1988) with Bill Murray and Bobcat Goldthwait (Directed by “The Goonies” helmer Richard Donner!) and “Christmas Vacation” (1989) with Chevy Chase, with the latter usually getting the most play in my household. It is hysterical, shows the wild eccentricities of family perfectly and is that rare sequel that matched or surpasses the original.
TIME TO PUT OUT THE COOKIES AND…COORS?
When I was a kid and all the holiday movies were finished on Christmas Eve we put out milk and cookies for Santa Claus, but I recall several early memories where a can of Coors beer was placed next to the treats as well. I paid no mind to this idea, since I was five, but years later I wondered why we did that? Maybe Santa had a drinking problem due to the stress of delivering toys to millions of children? Maybe he was friends with Burt Reynolds?
Or maybe his helper elves (my parents) wanted to actually enjoy staying up late to make sure St. Nick had all the assistance he needed setting up my Castle Grayskull toy set. Whatever the reason, this tradition ended after a couple of years and the typical milk took its rightful place next to the cookies.
Having a little one of my own now and taking over as Santa’s helper I have to wonder why my parents didn’t put out a pot of coffee.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
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