One writer’s recap of 2014’s under performing mid- summer movie season.
This summer movie season has suuuucked. Badly. It’s only the beginning of July, but so far, I’ve seen no heat from Hollywood. I’m an entertainment nerd: when I was growing up, I read Billboard magazine like my buddies read Sports Illustrated. My friends knew the name of every head coach in the NFL, I knew the name of every director in Hollywood. I just gave you that info so that you all understand that I know my shit.
And shit is all I’ve pretty much seen since May. This has been the worst summer movie quarter in years. Fucking horrible. Now, I still have a handful of flicks on my list that I haven’t seen. I haven’t checked out 22 Jump Street. I’m scared to death to see the latest Transformer movie…because the last three have been so fucking bad. The word of mouth I’ve gotten about Maleficent has been spotty, so I’m thinking I may wait until it hits home movie rentals.
But, I have seen the major releases so far. And here are my opinions.
The Amazing Spider Man 2: It’s a schizophrenic film. It veers from a film with surprising heart in some scenes, and then it goes all Batman and Robin silly in other parts. (If you are a real nerd, you know that mentioning Batman and Robin is nearly as bad as uttering a racial slur). The acting is great. With the stellar cast Amazing has, the acting had to be. But, the film’s tone pinballs all over the place. Jamie Foxx’s Electro starts off as an (pun not intended) amazing character. He’s a disheveled loser who (in a tragic origin story) ends up with super powers he never asked for, who then ends up being disrespected and shunned even when he has super powers. Foxx’s Electro nearly treads into Frankenstein territory, which is and would’ve been really cool, if only the films makers had let that arc of the character play out. Instead, Electro quickly changes from sympathetic to silly. In fact, the entire second act of the film is silly. Not fun. Silly. And I fucking hate silly. And let’s be real, the Marvel Proper films (as I like to call them, the ones produced by Marvel’s in-house production company) has made the Marvel licensed films look stupid. In 2014, The Amazing Spider Man 2 is one of them. The other one is…
X-Men: Days of Future Past: The X-Men franchise needs a new creative team. Fast. Brian Singer’s vision for The X-Men was hot in 2000, the year the first X-Men film was released. In 2014, it’s…boring. Jon Favreau kicked the door open stylistically and creatively with superhero movies as the director of 2008’s Iron Man. Joss Whedon ripped the door of the hinges and smacked the world in the head when he helmed The Avengers in 2012. Both films (and respective franchises) make the X-Men franchise look stale. Days of Future Past wasn’t a bad film, but it seemed slow and uninspired when compared to the Marvel Proper movies.
And for the love of God, how many times is Hugh Jackman (as Wolverine) going to have to carry this franchise? He’s the one constant point of light/bonafide star that the entire X-Men franchise can count on. That’s not good.
Godzilla: Sucked. Just…sucked. It starts off fairly epic, but then turns into the cheesy, straight outta Japan, 1960’s Toho Studios films that introduced the world to Godzilla (and not in an inspired way). For anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, I’ll give you a mild spoiler. There’s a twist midway through the film. If you’ve seen Pacific Rim, then you know what I’m talking about. (In fact, even though it’s incredibly ironic, Godzilla borrows a bit from Pacific Rim). Godzilla has a great start. It starts out as really good sci-fi, and then ends as straight schlock.
Actually, the best movie of the summer so far (that I’ve seen) is Blended. Yup, I said Blended (It shocks me too as I write this). That Adam Sandler movie that flopped last month. Blended was actually…good. It’s a funny and well acted film that’s really good family viewing. Which may have done the film in at the box office because this isn’t Sandler’s usual toilet humor fare. In fact, it’s the only summer flick I’ve seen this year that has any semblance of “heart”. Blended has a few moments that actually make you pump your fist and good-sigh out loud. And it’s really funny. It’s too bad audiences skipped on seeing it.
I’m hoping Dawn of the Planet of the Apes will be any good. And I will NOT go see Sex Tape. Even if Cameron Diaz has a nude scene in it.
Ok. Maybe I won’t see Sex Tape.