so Doug I’ve said it before and I will
00:01
say again if more men have stuffed
00:04
animals I swear to god this world would
00:05
be a better place what’s up guys welcome
00:15
back to my channel my name is Sam and
00:16
I’m female to male transgender at 40
00:18
cents a saucer in a three years post off
00:19
top surgery today I’m going to be
00:20
talking to you guys about how I knew I
00:22
was transgender and my journey through
00:24
discovering that and what it all entails
00:26
for me specifically everyone’s journey
00:28
is different but this is mine I’m gonna
00:30
do a very broad overview of it let’s go
00:32
on this journey together I was born in
00:34
San Diego and Carlsbad specifically I
00:37
think that has a lot to do with how
00:39
accepting I was of myself how I dealt
00:43
with it and how I experienced everything
00:46
I guess friends and your family hugely
00:48
influenced that I grew up basically in
00:50
an atmosphere where I didn’t think about
00:51
gender anything like I’m a girl and I’m
00:54
a tomboy until people like told me that
00:56
growing up like I just liked playing
00:57
outside I had a lot of energy I played
01:00
this little motorcycle toys
01:01
stereotypical guy things that doesn’t
01:04
make you that gender but that was
01:06
definitely a good indicator for me in my
01:08
journey like I would cry to my mom just
01:11
wanting to run around on the beach like
01:13
the boys with their shirts off like I
01:14
hated wearing tank tankinis or whatever
01:18
I wore at the time at like ten years old
01:19
I felt so uncomfortable I just wanted to
01:21
feel like they did I just would look at
01:23
him again
01:24
my mom would show me like Oprah where
01:28
she would bring on transgender people
01:30
and I really cared about the female to
01:32
me I was like there was like a gap in
01:34
between what I knew it was and how I
01:36
felt
01:37
and I knew it was intriguing but I
01:39
couldn’t put it together quite yet until
01:41
puberty hit and that smacked me right in
01:45
the face and I went downhill
01:48
I hated that I felt very uncomfortable
01:50
your body starts to transform into a
01:52
little bit more of like a
01:53
stereotypically female figure of like
01:55
kind of hourglass with the hips and
01:56
waist but I remember a big moment for me
01:59
it was in the 8th grade I went on a trip
02:01
to San Francisco with my mom and holy
02:03
crap there’s different genders different
02:06
sexualities people have their hair
02:08
completely different there’s different
02:10
incomes different races and I was so
02:11
inspired that I came back and cut my
02:13
hair super short I just felt so free I
02:16
was like oh my god and then going
02:17
through high school puberty got more
02:20
intense obviously because it’s
02:21
progressing I just think it’s important
02:22
to realize like dysphoria is more than
02:25
just oh I don’t like this body part it
02:28
feels like the wrong body part that was
02:30
a big indicator early on that I may be
02:32
transgender because it felt wrong on me
02:35
I started doing insanity the workout
02:37
video non-stop for like years and years
02:39
because I thought it was maybe just like
02:41
a weight thing and then I started
02:43
talking to there kind of like a
02:44
therapist and I started talking about
02:45
how I was really uncomfortable being
02:47
seen as a lesbian and again sexuality
02:50
and gender are different I knew I liked
02:52
girls but I hated being called a lesbian
02:54
of zero hate for the LGBT community
02:57
obviously so anyway I was talking to my
02:59
therapist and she said one sentence I’d
03:02
like flipped my entire world around and
03:04
she said Sam maybe you’re not a lesbian
03:07
maybe you’re transgender and my whole
03:09
world holy I think you’re right
03:13
throughout the next year I basically
03:15
like came out I hate that term for
03:17
transgender people because I think it
03:18
just further and confuses sexuality and
03:21
gender but whatever I came out everyone
03:23
is super chill it was crazy
03:26
they only like alright you want to get a
03:28
break over this next year which i think
03:29
is important for everyone to do is I
03:32
took time to work through all my
03:33
hesitations and my fears and you just
03:35
have to be open to it and work through
03:37
it honestly and you’ll get to wherever
03:39
you need to go and the next year I was
03:42
ready to start testosterone and it just
03:43
kind of happened usually takes months
03:45
and months and months maybe even a year
03:47
if it took me a month
03:49
my first testosterone shot was on July
03:51
10 2015 it was amazing day if you guys
03:54
want to check out more of the story
03:55
behind that I have a video then I moved
03:57
to San Francisco which is a great place
04:00
to transition if you’re wondering I
04:01
didn’t move there for that but it just
04:02
happened to be like an amazing place to
04:04
do that so I medically transitioned I
04:06
had my top surgery on May 24th of 2016
04:10
and if you want to check out that video
04:12
on the story behind that cheer and then
04:14
I came back to Southern California I
04:16
moved to LA to pursue music what you’re
04:17
still doing when I lived there I went
04:20
and did some revision surgery so I had a
04:22
revision surgery on my top surgery and
04:24
then I got liposuction then six months
04:26
later I had another one because it
04:28
needed more work and I went to a doctor
04:29
to where they do kind of it’s called IPL
04:31
and it’s the laser thing trying to work
04:33
on the scars and now I’m four years on
04:36
testosterone three years post off the
04:37
top surgery of my og surgery it’s been
04:40
amazing it’s been a very intense ride
04:42
obviously there’s so much that goes into
04:44
it that’s a broad overview of my
04:47
transition and kind of how I discovered
04:49
my gender identity if I can offer any
04:52
advice to anyone that is going to go
04:55
through this
04:56
it’s just give yourself time there’s no
04:58
rush on jumping into hormones and
05:01
surgeries that’s a lot to come to terms
05:03
with and work through and things come up
05:05
that you don’t expect you don’t want to
05:06
do something that you actually don’t
05:09
want to do in the end you guys all Rock
05:11
thank you so much for supporting me I’m
05:13
just trying to spread love in my men
05:14
and everything that I possibly can thank
05:16
you so much for watching I’ll be back
05:17
next week with another video you guys
05:19
want to hear any more on specific areas
05:22
of my life or subject within it let me
05:25
know in the comments and I will
05:25
definitely make a video on that I also
05:27
wanted to say hello to my new
05:28
subscribers thank you so much for
05:29
joining me I am truly humbled and
05:31
honored that you chose to subscribe to
05:33
me and hello to all of the former
05:36
subscribers in the hall so Rach
05:37
I appreciate you I love you and I will
05:39
talk to you later of the awesome back
05:44
[Music]
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