In the late eighties, when I finally left my parents’ house, I came to New York City
00:16
with nowhere to go.
00:17
So I ran into some people that I had met previously coming back and forth to the city.
00:24
So I wound up going to this place called Under 21, which is a youth shelter.
00:31
It was very scary because they put you in this big dorm with all of these people.
00:36
But at this point, it was better than sleeping on the street or in Port Authority or something
00:43
like that, because I refused to go home.
00:46
I stayed there for about four months.
00:52
But in the process of staying there, I was meeting different people that were opening
01:01
my eyes to the trans world.
01:04
Wind up getting getting some fake ID and I wind up getting a job.
01:11
So you only can work a job for a certain amount of time because they digging into your background.
01:16
So you go from one little job to another little job to another little job, just to keep yourself
01:22
safe.
01:24
Then I couldn’t get another job so it didn’t – hanging out with certain people, they introduced
01:33
me to a world that I will never forget.
01:37
It’s part of my life.
01:41
I had to go out and do street work, sex work, which is not – I’m not proud of it, but I’m
01:49
not ashamed of it.
01:50
I talk about it because it was part of my life where I had to survive.
01:56
During the course of doing all that, that’s when I met some people who protected me, who
02:01
taught me how to survive in this type of environment.
02:05
I remember the first time I did it, I cried because I felt violated.
02:14
Because I was letting some man touch me for money and I had to sit there and deal with
02:23
it.
02:24
Actually, he threw me out of the car because I wouldn’t stop crying because it just didn’t
02:29
feel right to me.
02:32
But you have to do what you have to do to survive and back in those days, you didn’t
02:41
have laws to protect you from certain things.
02:43
So I tried to go back to Long Island to reconcile with my parents but that just didn’t work
02:51
because they were still stuck in their ways.
02:53
“You can’t come around here dressed like this or you looking like that.”
02:58
And at this point in my life, there was no turning back.
03:02
Me and my roommate decided to go to Philly to visit, but we didn’t come back.
03:10
We wound up renting a house because he met these two brothers who were suppose to be
03:18
our boyfriends, who just used us and we didn’t know it.
03:24
It got to the point where I was actually being pimped and did not realize it until the end.
03:29
I got hit because I didn’t make money – enough money.
03:33
When I feel threatened, I have to escape.
03:37
So I had to figure out my best exit without being harmed.
03:44
So I said, “Yes, I’ll go out and get you anything you want.
03:48
You know, I love you.”
03:51
You have to – I had to tell him what he wanted to hear.
03:55
So when I went out, I just never came back.
04:00
I completely disappeared.
04:02
I got on the next train – I made money and I got on the next train to New York.
04:06
I wound up meeting some other people who decided to show me other options, instead of being
04:16
out there on the street.
04:17
It was a program called Streetworks, and how I met them – found out about them, it was
04:23
a friend of mine that I – it was in midtown and a friend of mine said, “Oh, you can
04:29
go there to take a shower and get some new clothes and all this other stuff.”
04:35
So I said, “Okay, let’s go.”
04:36
So when I went there – and this time, they were on 10th Avenue in 40-something street.
04:43
It was a really small place, really, really small.
04:49
And I get introduced to my caseworker, who told me I can, you know, do steps to get myself
04:56
better.
04:57
And at this point, I was homeless so I was going from this shelter to that shelter to
05:01
this shelter to that shelter to try to survive.
05:04
Being a trans woman, certain shelters would not allow you to come in because it was a
05:11
quote-unquote a “men’s shelter” and you’re supposed to look like a man, and when you
05:16
have certain aspects, they’re like, “Oh, you can’t come here because we can’t be
05:21
responsible for what happens to you.”
05:24
So it was kind of hard bouncing from place to place, but ultimately I wound up getting
05:29
a room, and from a room, I got an apartment.
05:34
And that’s when I started a brand new life.
05:38
There’s always a way out of a bad situation if you want a way out.
05:45
There are people that I know that stay in the predicaments that they’re in because they
05:51
want to stay there.
05:53
When I was in all of those predicaments, where I was – the prosecution and this and that.
05:59
I wanted to be there because I thought the people that I was with were helping me, so
06:06
I wanted to be there.
06:07
But when I realized that what they were doing, it wasn’t from me, it was more or less for
06:13
them, is when I got out.
06:16
So people have to realize that if someone is not there for you, they’re there against
06:26
you.
06:27
Open your eyes and listen and if it’s something that can be harmful to you, run.
06:34
Just run.
—
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