Documentarian Jennifer Siebel Newsom sets out to discover how the culture stereotypes of masculinity will affect her son.
After Siebel Newsom had her son, Hunter, she asked her self: “who will he become as an adult man? A sensitive and compassionate human being? Or a depressed lonely and disconnected portrayal of masculinity?”
These are tough but important questions. How does societies’ expetantions of masculinity and manliness affect or young men? Are we men given a way to feel confident in our masculinity without resorting to homophobic and sexist rituals of proof?
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Am I the only one amused by the question “What definition of masculinity will be imposed on my son, whom I have called HUNTER”? lol
Nice to see my responses re-appear. Now onto the subject at hand. “Anger” is a common thread with virtually every kid I work with. And as the saying goes, “anger is often a secondary emotion to something else.” Unfortunately, with a short window of opportunity, the three months we have with these guys is but a fraction of what’s actually needed. We are a drug treatment center and If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it dozens of times, we don’t have the luxury of time so accordingly, treatment plan is based on substance abuse and little more. Ignore the… Read more »
I don’t understand the differentiation between the author’s statement of sensitive/compassionate and depressed, lonely and disconnected. In the age we live today, I think the sensitive compassionate male is much more at risk to become depressed, lonely and disconnected. Like anger, sensitivity and compassion need constructive expression. I believe without expression, these traits lead to depression, loneliness and a sense of disconnection.
Nice video.
Though Tom makes a few good points – eg “When a women has a child where there is no expected active father, then she has already set that child up to fail”
If I could politely interject on this issue of fatherhood and raising healthy men. Certainly you and Tom don’t believe healthy and confident men have emerged from a childhood with an absent, abusing or negative father. My point being that if there is or ins’t a father in the picture isn’t to the point that men and boys often resort to homophobic and sexist attitudes and behaviors to prove to one another their own masculine status.
I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking?
I just think this statement — “When a women has a child where there is no expected active father, then she has already set that child up to fail” — overlooks a great number of men who grew up without a father for whatever reason.
Yes, there are men who have not been raised without an active dad who have turned out well, I’m not denying that but when you look at the stats of fatherless kids, the chances of his being successful and well adjusted is better to have an active dad.
I guess what I was confused about was the “men and boys often resort to homophobic and sexist attitudes and behaviors to prove to one another their own masculine status.”
My point in that statement is a bit of a critical eye towards male bonding. I had a fairly active father as did all of my friends growing up and we would still call each other “fags” or “pussies”. When we would get older in fact this would get worse, we began to talk to each other about women in objectifying ways. We literally relied on homophobic and sexist attitudes to police each other’s masculinity and to prove our own, and I don’t think us 4 or 5 boys in rural IL were the only ones.
In fact, we pry learned much of that behavior, at least in part, from our fathers, or other male leaders—I don’t remember how many times I was told to “walk it off,” and “don’t be a sissy.” All these phrases are intricately connected to one’s sense of his own masculinity. The implicit threat in the statements is that if I don’t walk it off, or if I just am a sissy, I’m somehow no longer a man.
Ross, at least your honest, whereas Tom in the beginning of this thread automatically and dismissively was not interested in what Newsome had to say. Then he goes “I guess what I was confused about was the “men and boys often resort to homophobic and sexist attitudes and behaviors to prove to one another their own masculine status.”” Yeah – school bullies preferred method of torturing other people is that same thing but in a different way- its all about mental health if you see other people as human beings then theres nothing to prove. Just be human, normal, comfortable… Read more »
Sorry, not interested in what she has to say…
She is the director, writer and producer of the film Miss Representation, which premiered in the documentary competition at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival. The film examines how the media have contributed to the underrepresentation of women in positions of power.
In the News
Newsom discusses state of female characters in TV in recent GLAAD Report.
Newsom is honored with the Janice Mirikitani Legacy Award at GLIDE Gala.
Fast Company includes Newsom in “The League of Extraordinary Women.”
So I have to ask, what is her sons father like? What kind of man is he? It’s all about how SHE feels and what HER fears are for her son. Anger .., What exactly are they angry about? People are asking but most are not listening. There appeared to be a lot of onus on men and what men should be doing for other men and boys. Sounds good but we live in a society that is dominated by women, their feelings, their emotions. When a women has a child where there is no expected active father, then she… Read more »