This Impostor Syndrome can get me all messed up. You too?
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I’ll never forget the moment he told me that he was surprised to be here.
“He” is one of the most prominent figures in his industry. You know, the type who carries titles like guru, expert, and authority. And here’s the thing: he actually earned those titles.
“Here” was success. He was still surprised that people were talking about him when they were talking about the guru in the room. See, he’s a podcaster. While others see him as the guy with all of the answers, he honestly only sees himself as the same old guy with the same old mic.
Right after he told me that he was surprised to be here, someone stopped him for a selfie.
I suppose he’ll deal with his Impostor Syndrome later.
When you feel like an impostor…
…embrace it.
That sounds like the worst piece of advice ever.
Hey look, that last sentence is the Impostor Syndrome at work!
If you’re unfamiliar with the name of the feeling, I’m sure you’re familiar with the feeling. At its most basic level, Impostor Syndrome is when you feel like you are out of place and that you’re seconds away from being exposed.
It can happen in the strangest scenarios, like in moments of success.
One of the things that baffles me about my own encounters with the Impostor Syndrome is how overwhelmed I may feel in situations that I know I handle best.
See, I love baseball. And I’m not an idiot about the intricacies of the game. In sports, we often call those intricacies “the game within the game.” I’ve played, studied, and coached the sport at high levels.
But nothing made me feel more like a fraud than when I got to coach a season with a Major League General Manager. For my non-baseball friends, a General Manager is someone who makes a lot of important decisions about a baseball team: like who to trade, who to promote, and who to fire.
A mentor of mine connected us because he knew I was ready to elevate my game.
But I was overwhelmed by the GM. I remember times when I felt a huge rush of ego because I was deemed good enough to coach alongside him. Then there were times when I felt like an absolute fraud and nitwit just for standing next to the dude.
It was a roller coaster, and I didn’t know which feeling was the best one to acknowledge.
In hindsight, I should’ve acknowledged both. After all, it was only a team of 10 year-olds that we were coaching!
We think we’re the only ones.
Since we can’t see inside another person’s head, we tend to think that we’re the only people feeling like a fraud.
We’re wrong, of course.
We’re not the only ones with insecurities, doubts, and questions. Almost everyone has them. Those who don’t are the folks to watch out for.
When the Impostor Syndrome rears its ugly head, I’ve stopped trying to get rid of it.
Instead, I’ve begun to think about why I’m feeling that way. Maybe these could work for you too.
What to ask when we’re feeling in too deep.
“Am I acting like something I’m not?”
Sometimes we feel as if we’re an impostor because we actually are. Or maybe less of an impostor and more of a full on faker. When I’m feeling overwhelmed and out of place, I want to know if I’m the problem. I’ll scale back, remind myself to be patient and honest with my situation, and reassure myself that I’ll be at another level someday.
“What amount of success will get rid of this feeling?”
The guys at Startup Bros wrote a fantastic article that lists out 21 ways to overcome Impostor Syndrome. They start the article by quoting a bunch of famous, successful folks. But they aren’t giving motivational quotes; they’re talking about how they felt like frauds. I’m not quite sure if there’s an amount of success that will wash away the feeling. I think that’s something we have to do ourselves, now.
“Does anyone really know what the hell they’re doing?”
Yes, some do. Most wing it. I promise. This was a fact that I didn’t realize until one of my mentors asked me about my business. “A mess,” I told him. Hey, may not sound good but at least I told the truth that time! Without a single hesitation, he responded, “Yep, it’ll always be that way. Your job is to make the mess flow in one direction.” In an odd way, that calmed my nerve. I was worried that I was the only entrepreneur who didn’t know what I was doing. But few of us do.
To end this article, there’s something I must admit.
An impostor wrote this.
Or at least I think I did. It’s tough to tell.
It’s an incredible opportunity and responsibility to write things that (few) others (sometimes) read. It’s a massive boost to my ego; and it’s frightening as hell.
Interesting.
I think I’ve felt this before.
And I think I know how to deal with it.
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Photo: Flickr/Vassilis