We all know that we should surround ourselves with great people, but it’s easier said than done.
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Be with better people.
Who do you hang out with most often?
If they’re not consistently filling your life with great things, then it’s time to let them go for now.
There are so many tips and ideas out there about how to become successful and live an incredible life. Some are fantastic, while others are created to sell books. Of all the ideas out there, there’s one that I believe holds truest.
If you want to be great, be with better people.
But be careful…
A very popular idea about this topic goes like this: “You are the average of the five people you’re with most often.”
I’m not sure where that originated, but it can be a trap.
The great aspect of that idea is that it might motivate you to get rid of the people who are dragging you down. However, I think living by that rule can also lead to cutting people out of our life who need to be there.
Take Karen as an example.
Karen lives on the Plaza.
The Plaza is an upscale shopping center in Kansas City. I live on the Plaza, too, but my situation is very different than Karen’s.
While I live in an apartment, she lives in whatever shelter she can find that night.
Karen is homeless.
She sits on the ground outside of the restaurants on the Plaza with a Styrofoam cup in front of her. She doesn’t have shoes. Instead, she’s got on ankle supports that help her walk. She’ll ask you very kindly for any change you’ve got as you walk by.
Whenever I see Karen, I sit down next to her and chat with her. We talk about all sorts of things: politics, love, her past, her future.
People look at us funny, I think. I’m not quite sure if they do or not, because I usually don’t look at them when I’m with Karen. I’m assuming they do, because sitting and talking with a homeless person isn’t something most of us would (or should) do.
She brings me perspective from the streets. I always feel so much more thankful for what I have after having a conversation with Karen. She always thanks me for sitting with her, and I always thank her for letting me.
At first glance, Karen would “bring my average” down.
But she doesn’t. In fact, all she does is add good into my life.
Don’t miss the point.
I’m all for cutting toxic people out of your life.
I’ve done it, and I still do. But I don’t think it’s healthy to discount people because you want to raise your own “average”.
What I’m hoping you do is think about what moments people are adding to your life.
If you’re happy when you’re with them, then stay with them. If you’re getting better at your craft because of them, then don’t leave them. If you’re growing into a better man because they’re in your circle, then look only to add to that circle.
That circle can include whoever you want, as long as you add to each other’s life.
Great people create great moments.
We were about to take it out on the water for the second time today. The first time was to go tubing. My best friend whipped us around behind him, looking for every chance he got to throw us off the tube. He was successful every time.
This trip was a little different.
As the sun began to set over the water, a dozen of us climbed into the boat and set off for a friend’s cabin for dinner. The weather was gorgeous, and there was no better place to be than on the water. We sped through the Ozarks. The wind hit my face.
And I couldn’t help but smile.
The people on that boat were my best friends, mentors, and business partners. They were all happy and having fun. It was beautiful, and I knew I was surrounded by the people who filled my life with nothing but their best.
In that moment, I knew I was surrounded by the right people.
Do you hang out with people who bring moments like this?
I hope you do.
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Photo: Flickr/Luca Sartoni