This is a comment by keith on the post “An Intimate Conversation, Part One“.
“After our first child, my partner withdrew from me completely which I would describe as no physical affection for 2 years. Smiles were rare. I can’t speak for her, but in reflection I would say that for me there was no sense of being desired by her. Everything became mechanical including communication.
“To get to the point I would say that men need to transition from husband to father in a way that a woman would transition from wife to mother and set the priority of those roles in a way similiar to how your partner does. Some kind of inter-personal poetry can become thematic. Let’s try family romance. Affirmation and love by proxy.
“A mother receives support from the father (hopefully) and gives support to the child by nurturing. Pretty instinctive. But for the mother to be affirmed in motherhood the father must embrace his child through positive interaction and affirmation. If a father shows no pride in his children, is unavailable, non affirming and critical of their development he is also not affirming the investment of motherhood which will also affect wifehood.
“Maybe—just maybe—the distance in intimacy between a wife and husband equals the distance in intimacy between a father and child. Of course I was never good at math.”
Photo credit: Flickr / sectionz