This comment was from Kat, in reply to 8bal, on the post “10 Things I’ve Learned from Having Queer Friends.“
Bisexual in the straight community also signals to some people that you’re just a sexual toy too there to fulfill the kinky fantasy of multiple partners in bed at once. For for me in the gay community as a bi woman I don’t even exist either. Shunned for not being lesbian enough.
One of the best discussions I was listening to once was the fact that in the LGBT commmunity the B’s and T’s are there only to create mass for the L and the G agendas. When it comes to a B or more likely a T agenda the mass disappears leaving a lot of disenchanted B’s and T’s.
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Photo: dominicspics / Flickr
Figures… you make a typo with your screen name ONE TIME and they never let you forget it ;P Anyway, as I said over in that thread I completely agree with this and it jives with my own experiences. Fact of the matter is, I don’t feel entirely comfortable in either “straight” or “queer” spaces for just this reason. I mean just look at what happened to Cynthia Nixon a while back when she dared to suggest that her sexuality maybe didn’t completely fit the “accepted” definition. Although as I said before “sexual toy” isn’t the label bisexual men get… Read more »
Sorry to hear you do not feel comfortable in straight or queer space. Personally, as a bi man, I must say that over the years I’ve in general felt welcomed in gay space, and in plenty of mixed queer environments. I’ve also had little problem fitting into straight space. Maybe I’ve been lucky to mostly be around flexible people? I know there’s a lot of stigma that go with being bi, and I’ve heard all the awful tropes about bi men. And, boy, do they annoy me. But in my experience I’ve run into it far more in the media… Read more »
Wow. I knew that bi guys had to put up with stuff how they are “really” gay or straight and are just not being honest with themselves. I guess the whole “barsexuality” thing gets in the way of seeing it happen to bi women too.
See, Joanna, I told you the “B” was silent… or at least that what some people in the LGBT community want them to be.
Yep, that’s been my experience. Bi men? OMG they just are in denial. Bi women? Just waiting for marriage….