This is a comment by Martin Robbins on the post “The Death of Innocence at Amherst College“.
Martin Robbins said:
“As a now retired academic administrator, I have recently become personally aware of the problems faced by male victims of sexual violence. My grandson was one such victim while attending Amherst College.
“Amherst’s response to the assault was far less than expected and required, given the traumatic impact of the event. In fact, I am not sure they even knew how to handle the whole event and ended up washing their hands of it. They tried to turn a serious problem of sexual assault into a drinking problem.
“The perpetrator is either now back on the Amherst campus or will be returning next semester.
“Female victims of campus sexual assault are well aware of the kind of mindless, indifferent and cruel treatment they often receive from campus administrators. Fortunately, this is changing, slowly at best. But for male victims, that does not appear to be the case.
“In this case, the victim, my grandson, ended up committing suicide. A tragic end to a tragic event. In his long note before killing himself, he had this to say about Amherst and how they responded to his suicide:
Even absent the natural collapse, the sexual assault was too much. There was no adequate form of preparation available for that, and no repair afterwards. What began as an earnest effort to help on the part of Amherst became an emotionless hand washing. In those places that I should have received help, I saw none. I suppose there are many possible reasons for this but, in the end, I am still here and so too is that night. I hold no ill will nor do I place an iota of blame upon my family. I blame a society that remains unwilling to address sexual assault and rape. One that pays some abject form of lip service to the idea of sexual crimes while working its hardest to marginalize victims. One where the first question a college president can pose is ‘Have you handled your drinking problem?’
Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free
“Before his suicide, he asked me whether I thought Amherst would have handled the assault any differently if he had been a female victim. Unfortunately, I told him I believed they would have handled it differently. But, I am not sure they would have done any better if the victim were a woman rather than a man.
“This is a sad ending to a sad story that has become all too common at American colleges and universities.”
Photo credit: Flickr / NealeA
My brother commited suicide 03/28/2010 but not for the same reason. I can tell yoou that he had ran out of options and felt there was no where too go except this final choice. He leaves behind 4 children; three girls and one boy. I feel for your loss and hope that in the future males being raped will have more attention then having people in charge turn there head the other way
Before his suicide, he asked me whether I thought Amherst would have handled the assault any differently if he had been a female victim. Unfortunately, I told him I believed they would have handled it differently. If you look at the way sexual assaults are handled these days I would say that yes there is a very real chance that if he were a woman it would have been handled differently. (Now that is not to say that being a woman means that you have a 100% chance of having your sexual assault taken seriously. What I’m saying is that… Read more »
So sorry for your loss. Been there. You can Recover, Heal , Advocate.
All about money. Nothing personal. Ditto Penn State. And the walls come tumbling down. If victim(s) discover lasting symptoms of trauma, with losses and disability, can file lawsuit for damages w/in 2 years of discovery. Suggest victims explore all civil rights, for recovery and resolution. Don’t ignore these events. Help victims by establishing precedent of published legal restitution.
Cheaper to avoid lawsuits for the lifetime of devastation and possible disability with denial. Parents need to be prepared for violations of family values in society. Parents must organize with legal team WHEN violation occurs, not IF. No different than car accident. Reckless living, and driving exists. Alcohol on college campus, and underage drinking, is bane of society. There is no excuse.
They would not have handled it differently. After my rape, the male was encouraged to use alcohol counseling as a means to show reform. It was a matter of him being too drunk. And for all the nodding heads in the courtroom, as I sat there unidentified as the victim, it was clear to me that it was easier for everyone to agree that that was the issue.